A highly rational friend recently noted with some surprise that sometimes just saying a problem out loud helped him figure it out.
And why was that?
Have you ever been struggling with something, felt a lack of clarity on which direction to go in, or even understand how you felt about an issue?
Have you written about it in an email, a letter, a journal and gotten an insight from the act of writing? Or talked to someone about it, and gotten a better perspective, even though the person you were talking to hadn't said anything? Or even just bounced something out loud into an empty room, and found an answer rebound back to you?
I expect many have. Most likely everyone has just accepted that experience as being just a strange exercise that for unknown reasons simply seems to works.
But for my rational friend, achieving that insight through those means was a surprise. For him, there hadn't seemed to be any point in talking or writing about the same information or questions that were in his head—what difference would it make? The information was already in his head, it wouldn't change from being said out loud or written down. So it got me thinking—well, why does it help?
And I came up with this analogy:
Do you remember math problems where you would be given a sequence of numbers and asked to figure out what the next number in the sequence was supposed to be? Well, the more numbers you were given in the sequence, the clearer the underlying formula was. So if you were only given one number, correctly guessing the next would be impossible—too many options. If you were given two numbers, then your chances were better, but still had a very high level of uncertainty.
For example 2 doesn't give you much to go on. 2, 4, gives you a lot more, but not enough. The sequence could be 2,4,6 or 2,4,8. So with three data points, you can be far more confident of perceiving a pattern, making an assumption, getting clarity.
So my theory is that when you have a problem/issue in your head, that's one data point. But when you say it out loud, so you are knowing it, thinking it, saying it and hearing it, or additionally writing it and reading it, you are adding more data points and increasing your ability to make a more accurate assumption, to chart a more solid course. And agreed, some of these point only offer a tiny bit of new information–a slightly richer or more detailed appreciation, a new perspective, but it's something; it helps.
In one of those Malcolm Gladwell books, he talks about how you can have a group of two or three friends, but if it expands to four or five, the group often falls apart. He noted that one more person isn't just an addition of one, but for everyone in the group, so the increase is exponential. Everyone is managing not only their own relationship to each person in the group, but observing & incorporating each permutation of every element of each member of the group.
So if you have a group of three, A, B, C, you need to maintain awareness of the relationships between A/B, A/C, B/A, C/A, B/C, C/B and ABC. If you add D, it goes from 7 separate relationships to 16 (A/B, A/C, A/D, B/A, B/C, B/D, C/A, C/B, C/D, D/A, D/B, D/C, ABC, ABD, BCD, ACD). Yes, OK, I may not have all the math right, but you get the point.
The more points you can chart or the more ways you allow your brain and intuition to process information, the better it will be able to build a viable theory, or chart a hypothetical direction to consider.
Also, it's very hard to lie to yourself when you are writing in a journal. Much easier to wrap yourself in denial and not go there if it's just in your head, or even talking. And in fairness, sometimes you don't even know you are lying to yourself until you write something down. Reading it, you think…well, no, that's not quite right, and start thinking about what is actually true.
It is helpful to get an external perspective on things—that's why editors were invented. But if you don't have an editor or critique group, or a boss or anyone to be a sounding board, try putting it out there & using yourself.
You'll have a point. Maybe more than one….
Get your sextant out!
0 0 Read moreby Jenny Hansen
Today we’re going to talk about Dirty Fighting. What is it, and why do you want to do it?
To start at the beginning, last weekend my honey was cleaning the office and he came across a piece of paper that made us laugh our faces off. This four page document he found – called, “Dirty Fighting Techniques†– helped save our relationship back in 2006.
Note: Dirty Fighting isn’t about some how-to guide on Jujitsu or Street Fighting. Nope, it’s actually a list of twenty-two items given to us by our counselor to teach us the difference between the Dirty Fighting Techniques practiced by most people and the clean-as-a-whistle fighting he wanted us to strive for.
We’ve got to understand the goal before we can turn it upside down on its head, right?
What is clean fighting?
Clean Fighting follows these basic rules:
Here is a clean fight summed up in 4 easy steps:
1. How you feel (use an “I†statement for this)
2. The behavior that prompted that feeling
3. Why it’s important/the background (i.e. what button did they push)
4. What would you want them to do differently next time
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Go try it. It’s really hard to do when you’re mad. Most people who are angry fight dirty. Clean fighting takes some rigorous training.
Now let me ask you something. Do you really think your characters have had any of this sort of training? It’s pretty unlikely unless you’re writing about a psychologist. It’s much more likely that your character will be flawed like the rest of us.
What Makes Great Fiction?
Understanding the difference between clean and dirty fighting will give you a TON of mileage in your own stories. If you need plausible arguments and dialog, Dirty Fighting Techniques will help you achieve this. These techniques can be applied with a friend, family member or a significant other…it doesn’t really matter.
Every entry I’m sharing is guaranteed to make the other person see red. If you’re writing fiction, that anger and tension is a REALLY good thing. If I give you all twenty-two at once, it will be like taking a drink of water from a fire hydrant so we’re going to start with the five that will work best in fiction.
FIVE?? That’s all the Dirty Fighting I get off that list, you might ask… Yep. Five is all you get…until the next time we discuss the topic. I’m gonna make this a multi-part post so you have time to really roll around in the Dirty Fighting Swamp. Go ahead, get dirty. Be the bog.
As I said earlier, great books are filled with conflict. And great characters who learn important lessons. Plus, dialog is the number one way to do several fun things like move your story quickly and legally bring in backstory.
Note: For a rundown of the perils of Back Story, read Kristen Lamb’s Monday post.
However, one of the problems I have with reading about dialog is that every character is unique and, even though the examples are usually awesome, my characters would never say those things. How do you think of creative things to say that would apply ONLY to our character?
One answer is to make him or her fight.
Since gratuitous fighting in a story is like gratuitous sex (kinda boring if there’s no real connection or reason for it), the author needs to find a great reason for the fight. How you use the fight is up to you but I think the easiest way to pave the road to this rad fight is to discover what your characters really want. Then dig down for what they really, really want. (You’ll remember this trick from Leanne Banks.)
DON’T give it to them. Or at least, don’t give it too soon.
Then flake away more layers to uncover what your character really fears. Then what they really, really fear. DO give that to them! This is where things get interesting. You not only have characters who are upset, you’ve also found a myriad of ways to slide everybody deeper into your story. To do this, ask your character questions.
Perhaps you’ll use the 9 questions I discussed a few weeks back in my post on Character Engagement or new ones that are all your own. Below are some of mine to help you get started.
1. What matters most to this character? (What is he or she most afraid to lose?)
2. Who matters most? (This is usually the person they are most afraid to lose.)
3. How did the character’s parents fight?
4. How did the character’s parents interact with him or her?
5. What does this character wish he or she had gotten in childhood?
6. What does my character want to be when they grow up
All of these questions can provide you with cues about where your character is “broken†and give you ideas about fixing the broken part (i.e. Fix = Lesson).
Now it’s time to unleash that fight! BRING. IT. ON!!
#1 – Triangulating: Don’t leave the issue between you and your conflict partner (could be a family member, friend or love interest), pull everybody in. Quote well-known authorities who agree with you and list every family member whom you know has taken your side (and lie about the ones you haven’t spoken to yet).
Uses: Triangulating is incredibly useful in fiction because you can expand the discussion to more characters and stir up some real drama. Let’s not keep this issue between just us, one character says to the other. Oh no, lets involve everybody.
If you have extreme Dirty Fighting Talent, you can stir the pot and then step back and play a new game called, “Let’s watch the other two people fight.†That’s good times.
#2 – Escalating: Quickly move from the main issue of the argument to questioning your partner’s basic personality, and then move on to wondering whether the relationship is even worth it. Blame your partner for having a flawed personality so that a happy relationship will be impossible.
Uses: Excellent tool for keeping two love interests apart. BUT, the fight better be about something that really, really matters or you risk falling into the Bog of Coincidence and most stories don’t have enough muscle to climb out of that place.
Escalating also allows for plausible use of Back Story. When you’re moving from the main
issue to the REAL issue (often happens at the black moment / end of Act 2), escalating the argument will make someone lose control enough that they blurt out something juicy. Way to go, Author!
#3 – Leaving: No problem is so big or important that it can’t be ignored or abandoned all together. Walk out of the room, leave the house, or just refuse to talk. Sometimes just threatening to leave can accomplish the same thing without all the inconvenience of following through.
Uses: My favorite use of this is employing it when the two characters really need each other. It completely ups the betrayal factor: I can’t depend on you, I don’t trust you, You’ve let me down.
You noticed how dirty that last statement was, right? Not a clean fight to be found anywhere with “leaving,” which is fantastic for your story! The farther your character falls, the harder the journey is on the way back up, right?
#4 – Timing: Look for a time when your partner is least able to respond or least expects an argument.
Uses: Think about this from a story point of view. A really great time to pick a fight is just before the main character embarks on a journey, has a new murder to solve, is called on to save the world. Anything with high stakes works great. Be sure the character ambushing them is a likeable one so the reader REALLY gets drawn into the conflict.
#5 – Rejecting Compromise: Never back down. Stick with the philosophy that only one of you can win.
Uses: This is a kickass Dirty Fighting trick to use on the main character. If there is only one winner, there is automatic conflict involved for the person who “loses.” The solutions are endless.
What do you think? What are some other ways you could use a good fight to help your
character grow or advance your story? Do you use any of the five techniques in your own life…come on, you can tell us! Let’s hear your fabulous Dirty (Fighting) Thoughts!
Jenny
Updated and all sites tested…Compiled by Donna Caubarreaux….May be forwarded with credits.
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EA = Electronic Format Available
EA/Non US = Electronic for Foreign Entries
EO = Electronic Only
MO = Members Only
U = Unpublished
P = Published
P/3 = Not published in three years
Pnr = Published, but not by RWA standards
PC = Not published in category selected
MAY CONTEST DEADLINES
Bad Kitty II
Inland Valley RWA
Emailed or postmarked by May 1, 2011
First fifteen pages + one page synopsis (Kitties and/or Werewolfs)
http://inlandvalleyrwa.wordpress.com/bad-kitty-ii-bigger-and-badder/
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Break-Up Contest
Alaska Romance Writers
Received by May 1, 2011
Enter break-up or dark moment scent, limit to ten pages, with up to three page set-up.
http://www.alaskawriters.com/membersites/akrwa/about.html
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TARA Contest (u – P/3 – EA)
Tampa Area Romance Authors
Received by May 1, 2011
The first chapter, 4,000 words max (actual word count), including prologue if applicable.
http://www.tararwa.com/contest/contest.php
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Golden Claddaugh
Celtic Hearts romance Writers
Due by May 5, 2011
First thirty pages + up to five page synopsis.
http://www.celtichearts.org/contest.html
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Maggie Award for Published Authors (P)
Georgia Romance Writers
Deadline: May 8, 2011
Copyright of 2010
http://www.georgiaromancewriters.org/the-maggies/2011-maggie-awards-for-published-romance-novelists-rules/
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The Molly Contest (EO)
Heart of Denver Romance Writers
Received by May 15, 2011
First thirty pages (max) + five page (max) synopsis
http://www.hodrw.com/contests/the-2010-molly-unpublished-writer-contest/
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Ignite the Flame
Central Ohio Fiction Writers
Postmarked by May 16, 2011 or Emailed by same date.
Entries should be 15 pages MAX, with an optional one-page, un-judged, set-up. (No synopsis) Entries should be the first meet or first reunion meeting of your hero and heroine.
http://www.cofw.org/contest.html
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Weta Nichols Writing Contest (U – EO)
Ozark Romance Authors
Received by May 16, 2011
First ten pages.
http://www.ozarksromanceauthors.com/
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Donna Caubarreaux is a member of Coeur de Louisiane, Scriptscene Chapter, NOLA Stars, Heart of Louisiana, and Kiss of Death. She received a RWA Service Award in 1997
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Guess what I did on my vacation…eloped with my boss.
More info →I eloped with a man I thought I knew, but didn't.
More info →Four blind dates in five days. I can’t believe I agreed to this.
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