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Finding Peace and Joy Again by Kitty Bucholtz

January 9, 2026 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz, Writing tagged as ADHD in writers, It's Worth It, joy, Kitty Bucholtz, menopause, Perimenopause, writing

It’s been a rough few years for me. Burnout, butt-kicking perimenopause, then menopause that didn’t “pause” my symptoms much. I’ve felt broken. And every January, I hope and pray that this year will be better. This New Year’s, I barely let myself consider the idea for fear that I will be disappointed yet again.

And yet…

A friend of mine has been urging me for months to read some of the materials she’s found on ADHD in adult women. I’ve resisted, feeling these diagnoses are yet another fad created by Big Pharma to increase their profits at our expense. But I finally listened to one of the audiobooks over Christmas vacation. I felt as gobsmacked as when I took the CliftonStrengths test a year or so ago!

Suddenly, it seemed a light turned on in my head showing me what I already knew about myself but with a lot more depth and clarity and understanding. Both times, it was like I could see things I knew were there (like the living room couch, the TV stand, the window covered with blackout curtains) but now I could SEE them! The couch is red and has thick, soft cushions. The TV stand is small, made of pale wood, but the TV is quite large. And the window is bigger and lets in more light than I realized when it was curtained.

What a difference!!

Personality traits that I have been both comfortable with and frustrated by now appear to be different than I’d thought. Maybe I wasn’t actually broken; maybe some of my tools had broken. The tools I’d used to cope with life (we all have them, whatever our personality traits) stopped working as well when hormones and stress blind-sided me. But the books I’ve been reading have reminded me that I am not broken and I don’t need to be fixed. I’ve just been shoved, hard, off course and need to catch my breath and remind myself how to get back up again.

I have no interest in getting tested for ADHD by a psychiatrist or psychologist, but I am very interested in improving my toolbox: sharpening old skills, developing new ones, perhaps letting go of mechanisms that no longer work as well for me. And I think this is going to make a big difference in my writing.

I’ve just started reading The Artist’s Joy by Merideth Hite Estevez, and The ADHD Advantage by Dale Archer, M.D. Both are blowing me away and making me feel — I’m not the only one who feels this way!! (The book that I first read on my friend’s suggestion is A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD by Sari Solden, M.S.)

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with life, or lacking joy and passion, perhaps some of these books or other similar titles will help you get a better handle on what’s not working and how to get back on track again. I’ll continue writing about this in the future in case it’s helpful!

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Planning for Peace by Kitty Bucholtz

December 9, 2025 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz, Writing tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, menopause, organization, Perimenopause, Planning, writing

Everyone who knows me knows I’m big on planning. That’s because my brain gets all stressed out if I don’t know what’s going on, whether I have time to say yes to something, or when I’m afraid I’m missing out on something. That’s why I already know where we’re spending Christmas (with friends a few minutes away), what I’m bringing for dinner (a homemade chocolate pie, homemade cornbread, and drinks), and what I’ll be wearing (embroidered jeans, a lightweight knit shirt, and taking both a sweater and sweatpants for warmth and comfort later). All that in the first week of December! Woohooo!! And now I’m not stressed at all about Christmas. (Yup, Christmas shopping already done!)

But when it comes to still trying to balance the changes menopause is having on my brain and my energy with the goals I want to achieve in 2026…well, planning in a way that will bring me the most peace is critical. One of the things I learned is that cortisol, the stress hormone, can make menopause symptoms worse. So if I’m feeling stressed by how I’m feeling (or by how it’s keeping me from achieving my goals!), the stress actually makes the symptoms worse.

Not to mention the fact that unused cortisol (if there are no tigers to run from or I don’t walk it off quickly) gets stored as fat. Great. Talk about insults and injuries.

I bought a one-year subscription to MasterClass.com last Christmas because Halle Berry hosted a 90-minute “class” with interviews with several doctors and women going through menopause. Here I am two weeks before my subscription expires and I finally finished watching it and taking notes. There was a lot of good information in the class, but let me give you a few bullet points that fit with my topic of planning for peace.

Decluttering — I knew this was not a time-waster or procrastination technique!! But I’d let people convince me it was, and my mess has been stressing me out all year. It’s gotten to the point, I don’t even like to spend much time in my office. Several items on my to-do list now have to do with sorting papers that are currently piled everywhere, filing the important must-keep stuff in boxes I just bought, and throwing out as much as I can. I need to let go of all the old plays I wrote a million years ago…even though I don’t really want to. I never look at them, won’t use them again, and don’t have room in our small apartment to keep writing only for nostalgia’s sake. (And no, for those about to leave a comment about scanning them or taking photos, it would take me weeks to do that! I have a lot of old writing!)
Have a “launchpad” where you keep your keys, your wallet, your purse, your phone/charger, etc. I’ve never called it a launchpad, but I get the idea. I have a bowl I made in pottery class in college where I put all those things. It is so stressful when I’m rushing out the door for the train and realize one of those items did not make it to the bowl and now I have to look “everywhere” for it…because right now my brain can’t remember.
Prioritizing tasks on your list before you begin. Many days I only have a few hours of functioning brain time, so I need to be sure that if I can only get one thing done today, it’s the right thing. And if I can get 2 or 3 things done, they are things I’ll be happy or relieved got done. Much as I want to watch the last episode of The Beast in Me on Netflix to find out how it ends, that is not the best use of my limited brain-time right now! And because limited brain-time has made me perpetually behind in all my goals, when I have a good day (like today!) and can get a dozen things done, I want them to be the things I desperately needed to have done last week and the week before.
Organizational Skills Therapy — one of the doctors mentioned this and I have no idea what it is, but it sounds awesome!! I’m totally Googling it later!

So those four items are now on my list of tools I want to use to plan for peace in 2026. I have no idea what to expect next year. My brain seems to maybe be working better, but I’ve thought that in the past right before a new wave of menopause hell bowled me over. At least with these tools, I can get a few of the most important items done and choose to be satisfied with it, not stressing about what I can’t control.

I hope this is helpful for you as well! Whether you’re in need of this information or know someone you can share it with, it’s always good to have some reliable tools in your author — and life — toolkit. I hope you plan for a peaceful and joyful end of 2025 and that it spills over into all of 2026. God bless you! And Merry Christmas!

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Do You Have Time to Write? by Kitty Bucholtz

November 9, 2025 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz, Writing tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, Perimenopause, time management, writing

I’ve always been one of those people who’s trying to get more done, looking for ways to be more efficient so I can do more in the same amount of time. I even taught a time management class for writers for over ten years, sharing everything I learned so people could try new ways to get more writing done. It worked delightfully well for me for years.

Until it didn’t.

Stress and burnout and perimenopause collided a few years ago, and it felt like I got hit by a train. I struggled to get writing work done while I tried to realign my health. Now on a good day, I’m working for 4-6 hours (down from 10-14 five years ago); a bad day might give me 30 minutes. It can be depressing, and that adds to the stress, which messes with my hormones, which clouds my brain even more.

But I’m still the same Kitty, wanting to share what I learn so that I can help others. So I’m writing two nonfiction books right now. One is on perimenopause and menopause for writers. I’m taking everything I’ve learned and all my resources and compiling it all, aimed at writers. I’d love to add more stories from other women writers who have gone through mental and physical health issues, especially related to menopause. Please contact me if you’d like to share your story (kitty at kittybucholtz dot com, and put “Menopause for Writers” in the subject line).

The other book is called Going the Distance: Time and Project Management for Writers. I’ve taken ten years’ worth of my lectures and broken them down into the core elements, and then I’m updating all of the material as well as adding new tips. I’ll start blogging about it soon, but I just finished the outline and I wanted to share it with you.

The 10-chapter book will include the following topics:

Chapter 1: Your Story — Looking at the successes in your past, how does your brain create the best environment for writing?
Chapter 2: Mastering Self-Talk and Cultivating Joy — Creating attitude habits that increase your creativity.
Chapter 3: Dreams, Goals, and the SMART System — Turning goals into dreams is more than just will power; it requires systems to make it happen.
Chapter 4: Prioritizing to Conquer Fear — What to do first and what to do next seems easy at the beginning of the day, but how do we keep working on what’s truly important to us while living in the real world?
Chapter 5: Finding Your Available Days — One aspect of reality is that for most of us the answer to “How many days do I have to write this year?” is not 365. So how many days do you have?
Chapter 6: Translating Goals into Word Counts — This is where we take the real number of writing days and figure out how much we can write or, vice-versa, figure out how much we need to write to hit our goal for the year.
Chapter 7: Habits and Rhythms — All of us have our good days; it’s the rest of the time that gets us down. So how can we create an environment for more good days?
Chapter 8: Flow and Energy Management — So many things can help us get more done in a shorter amount of time! We’ll look at commitment, daydreaming and white space, physical and mental health, distractions, prewriting, and more.
Chapter 9: Organizing Your Writing and Your Workspace — The crucial organization needed to avoid stress and wasted time.
Chapter 10: Progress, Rewards, and Reassessment — Sustainability is the name of the game here! What’s the perfect amount of writing work that keeps you moving forward long-term without burning you out?

If this sounds interesting and helpful to you, let me know! In my post here in December, I’ll start sharing some of my tips and ideas so you can plan for a good writing year in 2026. It’ll be worth it!

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The Whole Path System for Writers by Kitty Bucholtz

July 9, 2025 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz, Writing tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, whole path system for writers, writing

A few years ago, I was trying to figure out how to get more done and feeling a bit overwhelmed. If you listen to all the podcasts and read all the books and go to all the conferences, you may throw up your hands and quit! But just for a moment. Because there really are a lot of things we need to do.

Even if you don’t publish your writing, you probably write because you need to. But that’s just one of the many things you have to do. You also need to take care of your physical and mental health. You need to pay your bills. There are people in your life who need your attention — and hopefully you want to spend time with them too! The list goes on… But I had an idea a few years ago and I made a list of everything, then broke it into categories.

Those categories became my WHOLE PATH System for Writers! Here they are:

Writing
Heart and Soul
Organization
Laughter
Economics
People
Accountability
Time
Health

I use this system to bring balance to my life, especially right now when I’m suffering from hormone issues in menopause. I’ve shared it with clients and put it on my website. And I’m finally getting my ideas down on paper so I can help more writers create a sustainable life that keeps them happy and healthy. I’ll be writing more about the Whole Path System on my website’s blog, and I’d love to hear what resonates with you. Please leave a comment there or here and share what works for you, or what you’re still struggling with.

I’m also thinking the name of my nonfiction book series may end up being “The Whole Path System for Writers.” What do you think? Everything I am getting ready to publish for writers fits into those categories, so it makes sense to me. Does it makes sense to you or does it feel too long? Let me know in the comments!

I hope this list gives you food for thought. In future posts, I’ll dive deeper into each subject.

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Let’s Start/Finish Your Book in May! by Kitty Bucholtz

April 9, 2025 by Kitty Bucholtz in category It's Worth It by Kitty Bucholtz, Writing tagged as Classes, finish your book, finishing the book, It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, Workshop, workshops, writing

You may know that it’s been a rough few years for me. First burnout (long story) and then perimenopause – the monster in my body! But I am cautiously optimistic that I’m finally coming out the other side. Yay! For the last two months, I feel like the real Kitty. I’m happy and my brain works and my body is less tired and I just plain feel good. Thank God!

So even though I have 8 titles out (books and shorter stories), in some ways I feel like I’m starting over again. All of my ideas have been piling up, waiting for this day, and now I have four novels (in four series!) and three nonfiction books of encouragement in three different topics. I want to write them all! Now!

And that makes me laugh because a lot of people feel that way, including many of my clients. Our brains get so full of interesting things we want to explore or share and we think we’re going to explode if we don’t get it all out. Haha!

Just in case this hits a nerve with you, let me share some ideas on how to choose.

First of all, it’s not a rule that you can only write one book at a time. If you want to work on more than one at once, go for it. Just know there are pros and cons. One, it will probably take longer to finish any of them. If you work on two books over the course of a year, it will take you a year to get one finished. On the other hand, you may have two finished books at the end of the year. Or you may find that the distraction of going back and forth is actually making you take longer to finish either one. If you’re having fun, I say ignore the cons! But if you’re getting frustrated, it may be time to focus on one book at a time.

Two, you may confuse yourself sometimes when brainstorming. This happened to me a few months ago. My menopausal brain fog was in full swing and it was all I could do to get just one task done for this book here and one task for that book there. Not even the same tasks. So I was prompting Midjourney to create some images for me for Little Miss Lovesick…and didn’t realize for weeks that some of the images I’d created were based on Love at the Fluff and Fold! It’s funny now, but it sure wasn’t back then.

So suppose you’re thinking, okay, I want to choose one book to work on right now, but which one? Here are some ideas.

Write a paragraph description of each book. Which one grabs your attention more? Which is most interesting?

Set a timer for 30 minutes and start writing on the first idea. Do it again for each book you’re thinking about. Now compare the drafts. Which one did you get the most words written? Which one flowed the best? Which was the most fun to write? Which one makes you want to give up another half hour of doing something you love to write some more?

You’ll probably have decided at this point. But what if you’re still unsure?

For instance, I have a nonfiction book and a full-length novel that I already have a finished draft for. Why, oh, why are these books not published already? (The answer to that is another story entirely.) Since I am writing to make a living, these two books automatically get preference, no matter how much I also want to write and finish the others. So now I’ve narrowed it down to two.

Personally, I find it easier to choose between two rather than seven!

Now I can look at a couple more questions.

Which book is shorter and can be finished quicker?
Which book needs less editing and can be finished quicker? (I personally can’t know that without reading/skimming them both, but you may already know.)
Which book has a larger potential market within the readership already following me? Hence, more income potential.
Do I feel simply driven to get one of them out first?

I hope this has helped you make a final decision! For me, I still have to read/skim both to see which one is closest to being finished, and I will likely choose that one to give me a needed boost of confidence.

If you have been in a bit of a downturn or you know someone trying to start or restart a book and you need to find a way to just get going again, consider joining my 30-Day Writing Challenge: Kickstart Your Book in a Month starting May 19, 2025. I’d love to help you and/or your friends start/finish a book!

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