Attitude is Everything
November 12, 2023 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as Attitude, Denise M. Colby, encouragementWhy is attitude everything when it comes to our writing? Because it is our own choice what our attitude will be. And if it isn’t great, we have the choice to change it.
How we react to feedback or the different set-backs on our writing journey can make a difference. I have had plenty of negative feedback, disappointments, “where do I go from here” moments. But I’ve also encountered encouragement that has helped me pick myself up off the floor and get back at it.
In some ways, my writing journey has been a great life lesson of growth for me.
And I want to encourage you in your writing journey.
Change your attitude
My word this is year is change. One definition of change is to become different; be altered or modified. I also love the definition to replace with something else, especially something of the same kind that is newer or better. For me, attitude was part of the change I wanted to make this year in how I approached my health, my time, and my writing.
Writing is such a mental game
Attitude becomes a philosophy – if you think negatively, you will be negative. If you think positive, you’ll be more positive.
If you think you can’t do it, you won’t.
When you think you can, you will keep moving forward and not let the negativity stop you. Our attitudes in every little step will allow us to keep moving forward.
Be willing to learn and accept feedback
Write and write some more
Try and try again.
Don’t give up.
Denise M. Colby loves to write words to encourage, enrich, and engage with others. You can find similar encouraging posts on A Slice of Orange such as meeting writing goals or when your confidence wavers, and on her own website denisemcolby.com , including a blog post about Moments of Encouragement. She also loves to write about her word of the year and share quotes that include that specific word in them. Each word builds a new layer in her writing journey (and her life). In 2022, her word was Work. This year, her word is change.
0 0 Read moreConsistently Write In Order to Meet Your Writing Goals
September 12, 2022 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as Denise M. Colby, encouragement, writing processEach week my progress feels limited, but add the work all up together (it’s the 37th Monday of the year) and I’m finding that consistently writing a small amount week to week is working for me. It’s fun to check in mid-year, or in this case, September, and take a peek at the goals I set for the year. Am I even close? Did I miss my mark this year? Should I give up writing?
And learn I HAVE made progress.
It’s just so hard to see when we are going word by word, page by page.
Be Encouraged to Keep Writing Consistently
I want to encourage my writing friends to not give up. Set realistic goals for yourself on a week to week basis and keep plugging along. Stay steady. Be persistent.
Have I reached all my goals? No. But the year isn’t done yet. And yes, I have some far-reaching goals that can overwhelm me if I try to hurry up and get them done all at once. But this is where breaking tasks into manageable chunks help.
Put in the work (my word for the year) and you will see results. If you are like me, figuring out what that work should be in each stage of the process can be challenging. I’m not able to focus on my writing full-time at this stage in my life, so my writing consistently has to be squeezed in between my day job and the family commitments.
How do I do that?
Find The Schedule to Help You Consistently Write
At first I selected a specific day and time, one day a week. But that fell through when other required events popped up. Then I tried to just touch my ms sometime during the week. Constantly touching your MS even if it’s one page at a time is better than no writing at all. But it was hit or miss how far I would get and there wasn’t any accountability to myself to keep going.
Then a door opened that was exactly what I needed (which is something that has happened a lot in my writing journey). A new critique group came along at the perfect time within one of my writing groups. Out of all the writing clubs I belong too, this was really where I needed to put in the time. But I was afraid of the commitment. Yet it’s the commitment to consistently write that helps us complete a book. So finding the way that works for you to do that is key.
So this critique group came along at the perfect time. Sure I wanted my MS completely edited and ready to pitch ASAP. But instead I’m focusing on a chapter a week, by relooking at the scenes, editing, submitting and getting great feedback. And learning how to provide feedback back to others. Which has helped in many ways as well.
Overall, this has helped me streamline my story and make it stronger. And I’ve become a better writer. The bonus with working on this one writing task consistently every week? By the end of the year, I’ll have gotten feedback on every chapter. This was the accountability I needed.
Choose Your Own Way to Be Consistent
I’m not writing this post to encourage you to join a critique group. Maybe a critique group isn’t for you at this stage. For each writer, what helps you consistently write can be different. So know yourself. And spend some time figuring out what you need to do at this stage in your writing. What you need can change. Allow it to change. There just needs to be forward momentum (which happens when we consistently write) in order for us to reach our goals.
It’s the consistently writing, however we approach it, that counts.
Denise M. Colby loves to write words of encouragement blog posts. She also loves to write about her word of the year she chooses each year. She’s been working on her first manuscript for a long time and hopes to publish soon, since she has lots of other stories in her head waiting to be put on the page.
0 1 Read moreMental Reset for Writers After Receiving Contest Results
May 12, 2022 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as encouragement, writerslife, Writing contestsI always have to pause and reset after receiving contest results. Am I the only one who experiences this?
Contests are wonderful ways to get feedback, get in front of agents or publishers, and stretch yourself as a writer. I have entered many and have grown as a writer because of the them.
But every time when the contest results are out, I’m so afraid of opening up the email and reading the comments. And this year was no different.
Last week I received my contest results email from the 2022 ACFW Genesis Contest. I did not semi-final like I did back in 2019. For a brief moment, that right there makes it hard. Did I go backwards? Shouldn’t I have not made the changes that were in the suggestions?
But alas, I can’t do that to myself.
Contest Results Do Not Tell The Entire Story
I’ve had many pairs of eyes look over my entry and the overall feedback has been positive. And as I look at the scores from the three judges, two loved it and had very little comments (one even scored it a 99 out of 100, which is something to celebrate). But the third judge. It was obvious, my style of book is not their cup of tea. And even though two out of the three were positive, it’s still such a hard pill to swallow.
Is this what it feels like to read reviews of your work?
It probably is, and maybe you have to have a mental reset after reading those too.
But keep in mind some things. What’s being judged is such a small snippet (for me it was 15 pages). Not everyone will have the same opinion (which is why there are so many different authors and books available).
So What Do You Do To Move Forward?
I’m still figuring that out. For me, I needed to give myself a few days. Then dive right back into my manuscript. Keep editing, keep writing, and work toward the next opportunity when it presents itself. Pay attention to the things where multiple people gave similar feedback. And remember the positive comments (and the fact I earned a 99 from someone!).
I even wore this shirt to help me get back into a good frame of mind.
I think it’s also important to relook at the comments and feedback a few times over a period of time. Each time they sink in more. They are not as personal. And there’s something in there that you can use. After a little while, you are ready to figure out how to adapt the feedback you want to include into your manuscript.
If any of you are struggling, I encourage you. You are not the only one. And as a seasoned contest results receiver, it is never easy. But putting our work out there is never easy. Yet we trail on, because our stories are more than our feelings. They are our work (my word for the year!). And it takes work (lots and lots of work) to get them into the best shape possible before we release them.
Hang in there. Keep writing. Write On!
Denise
Denise M. Colby loves to write words that encourage, enrich, & engage. Every year, she chooses a word to focus on. Her 2021 word was Wisdom and her 2022 word is Work. She talks about how one turned into the other in her blog at denisemcolby.com. If you’d like to see more of Denise’s posts on this blog, you can check out her archives.
4 0 Read moreWhen Our Confidence In Our Writing Wavers
April 12, 2022 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby, Writing tagged as confidence, Denise M. Colby, encouragement, writerslifeHave you ever had your confidence in your writing waver? Years ago I wrote something that really helped me in a very heavy doubt period. As I was discussing confidence in his artwork with my college-age son recently, I went and found this to encourage him to believe in himself. I needed the reminder as well. And I decided to share it with all of you too.
Originally published on denisemcolby.com on June 6, 2017
This morning I was reading in 2 Corinthians and the following verse made me stop and pause, so I wrote it down on my handy 3×5 index card for future reference:
Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. 2 Corinthians 3:5
I want to be a writer. Notice I said I want to, not I am.
I’ve only been writing things for over twenty years – either marketing copy or fiction stories. No matter which, the reality is I struggle with believing in myself. Having confidence in my writing. My takeaway from this verse is God’s telling me if I believe in him, I need to believe in myself.
After getting the kids off to school, I took a walk and the verse rattled around in my head. But for some reason the key word competence turned into the word confidence (I wonder who put that there?). As I mulled around thoughts about confidence, I knew I needed to come home and look up the word in the dictionary.
I love words. Definitions, synonyms – all of it. I also love seeing connections words have with other words. So here’s what the website http://www.dictionary.com says about
CONFIDENCE: full trust; belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance:
And I love the example they gave in a sentence: His lack of confidence defeated him.
Is my lack of confidence in my abilities as a writer defeating me?
I think about my writing and the nudges I have had over the past five years and I know without a doubt God wants me to do this, otherwise doors would’ve closed on me long ago. However I’m not fully doing what he wants me to do because I have not had the confidence to just do it.
I’ve been saying for a while now, I would like to write devotionals. I have this strong innate desire to share hope, encouragement and God’s Word with others. What I haven’t been sure about is the how and what. So I haven’t done it, period.
When I took my walk this am something clicked and I couldn’t wait to get back home because I needed to do this right now. God has confidence in me. He has given me the desire. He’s nudging me to do this. Why have I not done this? Why?
I’m afraid – that’s why. What am I so afraid of? Putting myself out there? Looking like an idiot? Is that confidence then? I know I’m not looking for accolades, not looking for stardom. I just want to write and share my heart. But I’ve been too scared to do that. I have lacked confidence to go for it.
Then I saw the Synonyms for confidence – 1. faith, reliance, dependence.
And the Antonym – 1. mistrust.
Wow!
My lack of confidence is holding me back in my writing
I’m not really trusting God then, am I? If I have faith, I should have confidence in what he’s asking me to do. And I need to depend on Him when I do it.
So here I am today. Writing a devotional and setting up a specific devotional page on my website. Only God knows what will happen. I just need to have the confidence to do it (already the nagging doubts are creeping in). I must rely on God with the rest.
But wait, there’s more. When I grabbed my Bible to write in the verse, I realized I made a mistake (was it really?) and the word was competence not confidence. Oh no! Do I scrap what I just wrote? Does it even relate? See maybe I shouldn’t be doing this after all. I paused for a moment then decided to look it up:
COMPETENCE: having suitable or sufficient skill, knowledge, experience, etc., for some purpose; properly qualified:
And the Synonym: 1. fit, capable, proficient.
No antonym. Interesting. There is no negative/opposite of being competent. You either are or you are not. I may not be the best writer, but I know I am proficient. So what am I waiting for?
Then I looked at 2 Corinthians 3:4 Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God.
If God has given you skills – you are capable to use them for his glory. You just need to have the confidence through Him to do it.
What abilities (competence) has God given you? Where do you put your confidence? In your own efforts, schedule, skills, voices in your head? Or do you trust God? Do you have the confidence to put yourself out there with whatever it is?
God has given us all skills. We are all competent in something. Being competent does not need to mean you are the best at something.
Being competent means you are proficient. You can get the job done.
We should have confidence in our writing if we are proficient enough
We let our own voices tell us we are not competent because we think we need to be the best or someone does it better than us and we let it affect our confidence which in turn affects what we do.
Everyone’s path is different and God has one he wants you to follow. He has given you these skills for a reason. You just have to have confidence in Him that He is with you every step of the way.
God believes in you and I believe in you too!
Denise M. Colby loves to write encouraging words. You can read other posts by Denise in her archives here on A Slice of Orange
0 0 Read moreFour Steps To Face Your Fears
October 12, 2021 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as Denise M. Colby, encouragement, Writing Advice, writing lifeI wanted to write something encouraging this month and decided to repost one of my earliest posts from this blog titled Face Your Fear, which I wrote in 2017. I have found throughout my writing journey, I’ve had some type of fear hold me back, which manifests itself in taking a hit on my productivity and confidence in my writing. So I thought I would repost and share the four steps to help face your fears.
Because I truly believe taking time to understand your fears each time they rear their ugly heads, can help you overcome them.
And I need the reminder myself these days.
So without further ado, here is the post.
What’s your biggest fear as a writer? For some of you, it might be putting the ideas swirling in your mind into actual words on the paper. For others, it might be pitching your manuscript or creating social media posts. Whatever it is, we all have them. And all that fear causes anxiety, worry, tension, panic, despair…you get the idea (we all write characters who struggle with these, right?). If you’re anything like me, my fears prevent me from accomplishing or completing some of my writing goals.
Four Steps To Help Face Our Fears
First, you must identify it. Write it down. What’s your biggest fear? Stare it straight in the face. It’s not so scary once you look at it written out.
Second, define it a bit more. Add another layer of thought to it. What specifically about it makes you have fear. Is it the entire thing or just a part or two. And then ask yourself, why is it scary for you?
Third, debunk it. Discover counter arguments to your fear. Find out from other authors if they have experienced the same fear. Soon you might realize this is a normal reaction to the process and you might even learn ideas to overcome your fear.
Fourth, push through it. Do one task which causes fear. Ask yourself —what’s the worst that can happen? Find a writing partner who can encourage you and help challenge you to follow through. Note: You may have to do this part more than once.
My own experiment with facing my writing fears
Step #1
I decided to take a 4 x 6 index card and ask myself what my greatest fear was. What I wrote surprised me. In my mind, I had a general overall fear, but when I wrote it down I saw something more specific.
I don’t always sit my butt in the chair and on the surface I tell myself it’s because I don’t have time, but deep down I’m seeing now it might be because I’m afraid. What if I sit down for an hour session and it isn’t any better than when I started? What if I only edit through a 600 word block in that time? I will never finish. And so on and so on….
So, for me, my fear is getting it wrong. I want to hit the mark and soar with my writing. I’ve entered a lot of contests and shown my work, and although I get encouraging feedback, I’m still missing the mark. And I’m afraid it will always be that way.
Step #2
I had to ask myself what specifically about getting it wrong meant. Was it failure? Afraid of what people think?
I don’t think I’m afraid of what people think so much (although I want people to like my work), as I am wondering if what I write will ever be ready to publish. I have lots of ideas, but when I write them down, they don’t sound as great as I thought they were. And I’m afraid no matter how much time I put in, I may never achieve my goal of getting published.
All this fear and doubt affects what I do day to day. How I spend my time. My mental state when I’m writing. And I don’t want it to.
Step #3
Fight back. Who decides if it’s wrong anyway? And how do they decide? Look at how many published authors sent in their manuscript numerous times before it was accepted. It’s just part of the process.
See, by writing it down, I can find counter arguments to what my fear is telling me. And it helps calm down the panic that wants to creep in. It keeps me from letting my fear stop me completely.
Step #4
Step four says to do something to face your fear, so I need to take risks and not be so afraid of doing so. Write a blog post even if it’s not perfect and post it. Write a new scene and show someone. Get feedback and keep trying. If I don’t do any of these things, I let the fear win. There is always going to be more I can add, more to improve, so why am I waiting to hit send? Waiting doesn’t do anything but feed my fear.
Fear keeps us from our goals. Something none of us wants.
For fun, I came up with this acronym. As we know, fear is an emotional response. We need to stop reacting to our fear and work on ways to work through it. So, FACE your FEAR. Fix And Change Every Fear from Emotional to an Analytical Response.
All so we can meet our goals. We all have goals we want to achieve, right?
So take some time and write down what your fear is and then face it. You just might work through that writer’s block you’ve been struggling with.
Hugs & Blessings,
Denise
Denise M. Colby loves to write words that encourage, enrich, & engage. Every year, she chooses a word to focus on. This year her word is Wisdom. If you’d like to see more of Denise’s posts on this blog, you can check out her archives.
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