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My annual embarrassing high school Valentine’s Day short story by Jina Bacarr

February 11, 2025 by in category Jina’s Book Chat, Writing tagged as , , , ,

Writers write what we know… even when it’s embarrassing.

Take my first kiss. High school. Drama class. Me, the shy new kid. And a snarky guy with a big ego.

Keep reading….it gets worse. 

Valentine’s Day is a time for kissing.

But what if your first kiss was just plain awful?

Meet Riley Murphy. She’s a kissing virgin, waiting for the right guy to come along. Until she joins the Drama Club at Holywell High and has to kiss the class dweeb on stage in front of the whole school on Valentine’s Day.

==============================

VIRGIN KISS

Jina Bacarr

Introduction

What’s in a kiss? A kiss by any other name is—

—sweet, romantic, intimate, passionate, wet, sloppy, disgusting, probing, awful, nasty, sexy, tingly, and sometimes just plain wonderful.

But what if it’s your first kiss? And you have to pucker up in front of a live audience at your high school? What then?

Pass the Altoids, please.

The kiss-from-hell happened to me, Riley Murphy.

This is my story.

* * *

A few weeks before Valentine’s Day…

I’m the new kid at Holywell High School, a shy, skinny freshman with cinnamon-colored freckles sprinkled across my nose. Flat-chested. I’ll never be Miss Popularity with the bouncy boobs and flirty lashes.

I’m more like an olive stuck on the end of a toothpick.

Even with that dossier, I’m not a total dork. I’ve gotten pecks on the cheek and quick brushes on the lips, but I’ve yet to experience the soul-melting kisses you see in the flicks. The passionate lip-lock I’ve dreamed about, wrote about in my diary.

I’ve pined for that kiss, but it’s yet to happen to me. God knows, I’ll be in graduate school facing lifelong debt before the right pair of lips meet mine.

To overcome my shyness, my mom convinces me to try out for the Drama Club. Somehow I land the leading role in a one-act Chekhov play.Yes, Chekhov.

I play this mad, beautiful countess with passion and heart. I love it. I come alive on stage. I can do anything, be anybody, say anything, I can—

—kiss the male lead?

A gangly sophomore named Harold Brimwell with long, greasy hair and an upper lip curled in a perpetual snarl. He’s going to anoint my virgin lips with my first kiss?

Forget the Altoids. I need a stress pill.

I quit the play. They can find another dupe. Not me. I’m not going to let him use my lips for kissing practice.

Then I hear this little voice in my head telling me this is acting. Going through the motions at rehearsals and on stage don’t count on the kissing scale. I can pucker up with Harold on stage and still be a kissing virgin.

Right?

After my pep talk to myself, I sail through rehearsals, knowing my lines and ‘connecting to my character’ according to the director. He says I’m a natural, my emotions raw but real. This is amazing. Me, Riley Murphy, the kid who’s always the ‘new girl’ at school because we move around so much because of my dad’s job, found something she’s good at.

Then the trouble starts.

The director insists on method acting.We don’t rehearse the kiss. He wants a real kiss on stage, not a phony smooch.

Worse yet, we open on Valentine’s Day with a preview performance at the afternoon school assembly. Not only do I have to kiss this guy, I have to do it on the most romantic day of the year in front of the entire student body.

I dump the Altoids… along with my confidence down the toilet.

* * *

Valentine’s Day dawns rainy and cold. Perfect weather for a Russian play.

I arrive at the gym early, put on my makeup in the girls’ bathroom then, with my hands shaking, I hook up my long Victorian black lace dress borrowed from the costume department, the silk petticoats rustling around my feet. I’m way nervous, but something cool happens as I run my lines over and over, my fear slowly dissolving into a shaky confidence as I slip into my character’s skin. Humming ‘I will survive’, I check my props, my fingertips tingling as I pull on my snug dueling gloves, then twirl the dainty parasol over my head like a spinning top.

I grab the small pistol for my big dueling scene, then heave out a big breath, praying I don’t drop it and everybody laughs at me.

I save putting on my lipstick for last.

First, I gargle mint-flavored mouthwash until my lips turn green and my mouth goes numb. Next, I line my lips with Chekhovian, dark red lipstick and smack them together. Perfect. I’m ready for my lip close-up.

It’s showtime.

I’m so nervous when the lights come up, I garble my opening lines. Then I trip over my own feet and nearly crash into the backdrop. Hot tears form in my eyes, but I want this too bad to give up now. All my life, I’ve stayed in the shadows. If I fail now, I may never get the courage to try again. I ignore the smirks and catcalls and swish my long skirts around like a real countess to boost my confidence.

I can do this.

Somehow, I get my groove on and my theatre training takes over. I sail across the stage, chin up, shoulders back, my voice clear, my lines down to a T. I’m ‘in the moment’. Much to my relief, the dueling scene goes off without the pistols misfiring.

Then it’s time for…

… the kiss.

I’ll never forget the expression on Harold’s face when he takes two long strides toward me. A mixture of sadistic pleasure and baddass ‘tude comes over his face, as shiny and sweaty as his palms, freaking me out. Lower lip snarling, my co-star gives me that ‘I’ve got you now’ look all fired up in his eyes, pinning me to the wall.

My teeth chatter. My mouthwash stops working.

It’s so quiet in the high school gym you can hear the director chewing on the end of his pencil.

My heart pounds so hard I can’t get my breath on when Harold pulls me into his arms, yanking me around like I’m a dollar store rag doll and then—

—he slams his mouth onto mine.

Bile rises in my throat as he pushes my lips apart and thrusts his mushy, saliva-coated gum into my mouth, making me nauseous. I swear if my dress wasn’t hooked up so tight, I would have ralphed all over him. Before I can push him off me, he shoves his tongue down my throat, way down, nearly gagging me.

I start choking.

I can’t breathe. Oh, my God, I’m going to pass out.

No, I can’t, I won’t. I’m determined not to faint. I have to get him off me. No gum-chewing, phony-macho sophomore is going to get the best of me.

I’m an actress, I tell myself, so act!

With stars circling around in my pounding head, I pull up my strength and kick him in the shin. There.

Startled, he jerks backward, but not before he bites my lower lip.

What the—

I taste coppery blood. Fresh, oozing, smearing my perfectly-applied lipstick. I’m in shock, disbelieving. It can’t get any worse.

Can it?

It can.

Dabbing my bleeding lip with my silk sleeve, I struggle in his arms, but he holds me tight, slobbering all over me, licking my face, my throat, coating my skin with stringy gum. My ears won’t stop ringing. The audience is going crazy, yelling and shouting like they’re at a basketball game and I’m the bouncing ball.

No, no, he’s not going to take advantage of me. I worked hard to get this part, learn my lines. Practiced how to walk, how to find the core of my character. Gosh darn, this is the first time in my whole life I’ve come out of my shell and done something really special.

He’s not going to ruin it for me.

I have to do something. Fast.

The pistol.

Where is it? After the mock dueling scene, I threw the prop gun down on the round table. It has to be there, but where?

I reach out behind me, my nails catching on the lace doily… I twist my head just a little… yes, I see it. I edge the gun toward me, an inch at a time. Sweat oozes down my too-tight collar and my knees buckle, but I don’t give up.

Almost got it… there. My fingers wrap around the pearl-inlayed handle. I suck in a breath then, without losing my nerve, I jam the prop into his ribs. Hard. I yank my body with such fury, I rip the black silk sleeve right out of the armpit. It slides down my shoulder, but it doesn’t stop me.

‘Get your hands off me, you sloppy-kissing, gum-chewer!’ I yell, ignoring the script and re-writing Chekhov. ‘Or you’re getting an “F” in drama class.’

The director gasps. Loudly. But he doesn’t refute what I said.

‘Yeah, sure,’ Harold stutters, letting me go, raising up his hands and backing away. ‘Anything you say, Riley.’

‘That’s telling him!’ a girl yells from the audience.

Amy Zanderbar. His ex-girlfriend.

She’s not the only one. All the girls stand up and start chanting, ‘Go, Riley, go!’

Wow. I hit a nerve with the females sitting in the bleachers who had their share of bad kissers.

They love it.

The audience starts clapping wildly and stomping their feet and continue chanting my name. I break the fourth wall and give them a ‘V’ for Victory high sign until the chanting dies down, then my thespian instincts kick in and I get back into character, giving Chekhov his due and ending the play as he wrote it.

I’ll always remember this night when a shy freshman girl in a borrowed Victorian dress took on a snarky sophomore and became empowered to stand up for herself in front of the whole student body.

It changed my life.

* * *

Epilogue

We performed the one-act play for the next few nights without further incident, faking the kiss each time. Harold is cool, not attempting any more way-out kissing. For me, it’s strictly acting.

I’m still a virgin in lip-land.

But I’ll never forget V-Day and my experience with the gum-toting, kissing bandit. Not a bad guy, just a rotten kisser.

And in case you’re curious, next semester I do find the right pair of lips to land that first kiss.

A hottie junior. Jack Dwayne.

When Jack takes me in his arms and lowers his face to mine, I quiver with anticipation and soon discover a kiss isn’t just a kiss, it’s…

… magic.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

——————–

PS — yes, Riley is me, a shy freshman back in the day.

The Princess and the Stilettos video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ELRFw_B720&ab_channel=JinaBacarr

Love Audio Books? My Boldwood Books are on sale at CHIRP!!

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Dear Extra Squeeze, Do You Have Audio Book Tips?

January 31, 2021 by in category The Extra Squeeze by The Extra Squeeze Team, Writing tagged as , , , , ,

Dear Extra Squeeze Team, I am interested in audio books, but I do not know how to get started in that arena…what are your tips?

Robin Blakely | The Extra Squeeze Team | A Slice of Orange

Robin Blakely

PR/Business Development coach for writers and artists; CEO, Creative Center of America; member, Forbes Coaches Council.

The most important thing is to evaluate and prepare to articulate what you want. Listen to audio books in the genre of your work. Find the best ones that resonate with you. Note who the voice talent is and what you like about their performances. Then, step back and listen to the best audio books in other genres. Sometimes there is a huge difference between what is good in one genre and what is good in another genre. Noticing what you like and don’t like becomes more apparent through comparisons. Researching what you like and why will strengthen your vision for the end product. If you know what you really want and can express it, you will be able to find the talent you want in the audio arena.

Jenny Jensen | A Slice of Orange

Jenny Jensen

Developmental editor who has worked for twenty plus years with new and established authors of both fiction and non-fiction, traditional and indie.

Not sure how much help I can offer as I know nothing about distributing audio books, but I can say that the place to begin is with the voice talent. I used to produce radio spots and one had to keep a book of voice talent and jump through audition hoops to find the voice that best fit the ad’s product and audience. It’s so much easier today.

 

There are hundreds of really fine voice actors on the internet and most of them have the equipment needed at their fingertips. The actor’s websites have links to examples of their work so all you have to do is listen and consider if that voice has the right intonation, quality, clarity and personality to be a good narrator for your particular story. That’s a pretty subjective decision, so no tips on that.

 

I do suggest, however, that you test enough of the actor’s handling of dialog to know if it will work. Do you like the way she handles a man’s voice? How does he handle female voices? Children? Old people? Surprise, Anger? Most actors, once contacted, will audition a passage from your work. Then be aware of how the actor handles the issue of rights.

Rebecca Forster | Extra Squeeze

Rebecca Forster 

USA Today Bestselling author of 35 books, including the Witness series and the new Finn O’Brien series.

I’m the wrong person to ask about audio books. I am not an ‘audio’ reader and I proved it when a producer bought my series. I was asked to choose a narrator, and I did not choose well. I will eagerly read my colleagues suggestions and we’ll learn together.

H. O. Charles | A Slice of Orange

H.O. Charles

Cover designer and author of the fantasy series, The Fireblade Array

I’ve yet to record mine, despite years of working on radio programs and in audio production! From a production perspective, you need a room with dampened sound (soft furnishings to absorb echo–think of a studio with egg cartons and foam on the walls). You need a good microphone and a lot of disk space. There’s probably a way of recording using a mobile phone, these days (I’m a bit out of date!), as their microphones are improving all the time.

 

Avoid mic pops – this is where your Ps and Bs thump the mic as you spit at it. Make your editing easier by enunciating clearly and repeating a whole line when you make a mistake. Keep your background noise (kicking the desk, pets, traffic…) to the absolute minimum. For editing, Adobe Audition has long been the best tool, but it requires some getting-used-to for those just learning. Audacity is free and much simpler for the newbie.

 

Practice your acting skills. There’s nothing more boring than a reader going through an entire novel in monotone. Listeners latch onto variation in pitch and tone, and emotion. You may feel ridiculous doing it, but it’ll sound much better in the final edit.

The Extra Squeeze | A Slice of Orange

Ever wonder what industry professionals think about the issues that can really impact our careers? Each month The Extra Squeeze features a fresh topic related to books and publishing.

Amazon mover and shaker Rebecca Forster and her handpicked team of book professionals offer frank responses from the POV of each of their specialties — Writing, Editing, PR/Biz Development, and Cover Design.

If you have a question for The Extra Squeeze Team, use our handy dandy contact form.

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LISTEN UP: The Making of an Audio Book

September 15, 2013 by in category Archives tagged as , ,

I have written over 25 novels. Each one starts with voices in my head. By the time a book is done, I know every inflection, tonal change and speech pattern of every character. So, when I had the opportunity to create the audio versions of Hostile Witness and Silent Witness, I was excited. This, I thought, was going to be a breeze.
I thought that just before I became terrified.
I was excited because next to having your book made into a movie, audio is about as cool as you can get. I was terrified because suddenly there were decisions to make that I had never considered when writing these books. How had I really imagined my characters’ voices? Did I want an actor or an actress to read my books? How did I produce and publish an audio product? Did I want separate voices for each character or not? Did I want to read my books myself?
The only question I could answer was the last one. No fiction author should ever read their work if I am an example. My one attempt to do so left me ROFL. Thankfully, I was alone in the house when I tried it. Some people are actors; I am not.
Once that decision was made there were still others to tackle. This is my list of the five things I did   to bring my books from print to awesome audio.
1)   Listen to popular audio books in your genre. I listened to both male and female thriller authors. I found it disconcerting to hear a man read primary female parts but had no trouble accepting a female reader tackling male characters. It is a personal decision but I was lead by what seems to be accepted wisdom of the best selling authors and that is use the voice of the predominant character. I chose Tara Platt, an award winning voice over artist (www.taraplatt.com). I also chose to have each character voice distinctive and that meant the voiceover had to seamlessly move between character and gender, expository and dialogue.
2)    Choose a neutral voice unless your book has a cultural basis for a different choice. I listened to audio versions of books written by English authors and read by English actors. As much as I love an English accent, I realized choosing a voiceover with a discernible accent was distracting for an American thriller.
3)   If possible, seek professional assistance. I was lucky to know a producer who understood what goes into a successful voiceover. He coached me in what I should be listening for when I received my file for approval, not the least of which was breathing patterns. Like a singer, a voiceover artist should be able to read seamlessly without gasps or gaps in the production as well as communicate the appropriate cadence and genre of your novel.
4)   Provide your talent a ‘cheat sheet’ that includes a short description of the plot, descriptions of all recurring characters, unique setting points, and where the major plot points are. Also provide the talent with a copy of the book.
5)   Speak up and ask questions. There is someone to listen at established, professional sites. I worked with ACX for Audible.com, the most recognizable of all audio sites. They were responsive to all my questions and offered production options from talent buyout to royalty sharing and independent production.
It didn’t take me long to realize that as much time goes into reading a book for audio distribution as writing it for print or digital consumption. I also realized after I heard the first few chapters of my book that I was as lost in listening to the story in the same way I had been lost in writing it. I may have known the ending, but I didn’t know the sound of it would leave me breathless when I heard it.
Listen toHostile Witness
Listen to Silent Witness 

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LISTEN UP! THE MAKING OF AN AUDIO BOOK

May 15, 2013 by in category Archives tagged as , , , , ,

I have written over 25 novels. Each one starts with voices in my head. By the time a book is done, I know every inflection, tonal change and speech pattern of every character. So, when I had the opportunity to create the audio versions of Hostile Witness and Silent Witness, I was excited. This, I thought, was going to be a breeze.

I thought that just before I became terrified.
I was excited because next to having your book made into a movie, audio is about as cool as you can get. I was terrified because suddenly there were decisions to make that I had never considered when writing these books. How had I really imagined my characters’ voices? Did I want an actor or an actress to read my books? How did I produce and publish an audio product? Did I want separate voices for each character or not? Did I want to read my books myself?
The only question I could answer was the last one. No fiction author should ever read their work if I am an example. My one attempt to do so left me ROFL. Thankfully, I was alone in the house when I tried it. Some people are actors; I am not.
Once that decision was made there were still others to tackle. This is my list of the five things I did   to bring my books from print to awesome audio.
1)   Listen to popular audio books in your genre. I listened to both male and female thriller authors. I found it disconcerting to hear a man read primary female parts but had no trouble accepting a female reader tackling male characters. It is a personal decision but I was lead by what seems to be accepted wisdom of the best selling authors and that is use the voice of the predominant character. I chose Tara Platt, an award winning voice over artist (www.taraplatt.com). I also chose to have each character voice distinctive and that meant the voiceover had to seamlessly move between character and gender, expository and dialogue.
2)    Choose a neutral voice unless your book has a cultural basis for a different choice. I listened to audio versions of books written by English authors and read by English actors. As much as I love an English accent, I realized choosing a voiceover with a discernible accent was distracting for an American thriller.
3)   If possible, seek professional assistance. I was lucky to know a producer who understood what goes into a successful voiceover. He coached me in what I should be listening for when I received my file for approval, not the least of which was breathing patterns. Like a singer, a voiceover artist should be able to read seamlessly without gasps or gaps in the production as well as communicate the appropriate cadence and genre of your novel.
4)   Provide your talent a ‘cheat sheet’ that includes a short description of the plot, descriptions of all recurring characters, unique setting points, and where the major plot points are. Also provide the talent with a copy of the book.
5)   Speak up and ask questions. There is someone to listen at established, professional sites. I worked with ACX for Audible.com, the most recognizable of all audio sites. They were responsive to all my questions and offered production options from talent buyout to royalty sharing and independent production.

It didn’t take me long to realize that as much time goes into reading a book for audio distribution as writing it for print or digital consumption. I also realized after I heard the first few chapters of my book that I was as lost in listening to the story in the same way I had been lost in writing it. I may have known the ending, but I didn’t know the sound of it would leave me breathless when I heard it.
Listen to Hostile Witness
Listent to Silent Witness 

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Listen Up….

February 25, 2013 by in category Archives tagged as , , ,

I’m not a techno maven, so please forgive my self-congratulation and delight at having figured out how to download digital audio titles (and eBooks) to my iPhone…from the Public Library.

Is that great, or what?
I don’t have a tablet at the moment (lost my Kindle & am obsessing about alternatives.  Thinking Galaxy Notebook? Mostly an Apple family, so wanted to try something else). So I am mostly focused on audio right now. Love the idea of downloading from the library for several reasons:
1.     Very inexpensive (free).  You do have to get a library card, though. (also free)
2.     You aren’t stuck with a physical product that sits around, cluttering things up–as if you’re going to listen to it again, which is unlikely.  And if you want to, why just take it out of the library again!
3.    OK, yes, I worked for publishers, who often had an uneasy relationship with libraries due to their free-ness when you’re trying to make a living selling books. But libraries have always been magical and wonderful places for me.  They are an amazing repository for information, help, knowledge and access.  Via their remarkable “free sampling” program, they introduce people to new things–like digital content–that often create new consumers and enrich our lives. So I believe in & support libraries–by using them as well as giving.
4.     OMG when you download digital content, it is never late! It just disappears when your time is up.  No need to keep track or be nearby to hand it in.  Poof.
5.    With a WiFi connection, you can download a book from anywhere, anytime.  Finish something in the middle of the night on a business trip or vacation?  Just browse the shelves and download something new at 1:00am.
Audio is an interesting format, with incredible advantages and some challenges.  It is a genuinely different vehicle for “consuming” content, and it can take a bit of personal exploration and experimentation to find your sweet spot. What are this issues? you may well ask…
A.  Sound.  It’s pretty basic.  You have to have earphones (comfy earphones) if you’re in company (unless it’s a shared experience), and the environment has to be quiet enough so you can hear.  For example, New York is a really loud city.  It’s hard to hear as you walk on the street, ride the subway or sit in a cab.  Not impossible, but I find myself turning the volume up & down a lot.
B.  Someone is reading to you–often a delightful asset, but sometimes a liability.  If good, the voice can significantly enhance the experience.  I’ve been listening to several P.G. Wodehouse Bertie & Jeeves titles & they’re a delight.  All the upper crust characters, ridiculous expressions, outrageous situations come alive with the accents & tones of voice.  
James Joyce’s reader is a Joyce expert, delivering wonderful Irish accents, even singing when the story required. And it’s a comfort to feel the stream of consciousness is flowing by with an approved cadence and pace.  
Life of Pi’s Indian accented reader turns out not to even be Indian, but really enhanced and enriched the story for me.  
But if the reader is bad, it can make the listening experience unbearable.
C.  Also, with audio, they read every word.  I skim when I get bored reading, or if there are long lists, or it feel repetitive. You don’t really have that option with audio.  
You can skip forward, but it’s not the same as glancing down a page to confirm they’re still yammering about battle details or lush descriptions.  
This can be a good thing if the writing is good–forcing you to slow down and savor the words and images. But if you’re listening to some little known Victorian novel, you may discover why it is not well known when you find yourself subjected to what seems like hours of exquisitely described detail of an emotional or physical landscape.
D.  Some people just lose traction listening & feel they have to keep going back to remember who said what to whom & when & thus find audio frustrating, as it doesn’t offer the visual cues of flipping back a page, or looking in the middle of that long paragraph.  
In this case, they need to listen to stuff they don’t care about so much (avoid ‘How To’ or non-fiction or complex fiction). Consider plays, or poetry, where listing & responding is perhaps more important than keeping track of everything.
E.   Why bother? Well, I love storytelling, and audio can slip in through the cracks and deliver a great reading experience when actual reading is impossible.  I can listen and look out the window of the train or plane or bus.  I can listen and knit or sew or mend. I can sit with the gang as they watch TV and listen to my story.  Grocery shop.  Walk the dog.  If I’m alone, I can be read to sleep, with a built in timer that will shut off after 15, 30, 60 minutes. Though if being read to makes you fall asleep, perhaps listen to the radio when you’re driving!
Downloading audio books from your public library:
General info  Overdrive Media Console or  Overdrive for iStuff
Load the app onto your iPhone, Android, Blackberry, etc.  
Locate your library (hopefully) on their very long Add A Library list.  
Put in your library card number & password.  Search.  Browse.  Create a Wish List & fill it with titles you’re interested in.  Ask for a eHold on a title that isn’t available right now–you’ll get an email when it becomes available & you can download it.  If you finish before your book is due, return and delete it.
Select and download titles–you’ll get a sense for how long they are by the number of packages of data.
Plug yourself in…and listen up!
Isabel Swift
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