.
Rrrrrr! vs. Mmmruh
It wasn’t my day. Or my week, month or year, apparently. Ants were taking over my kitchen; my cat was so sick I had to spend most nights at the emergency animal hospital; I’d lost my voice so I couldn’t teach and make rent; I got my summons to do jury duty; and to top it all off, I owed taxes when I’d been counting on a refund.
So, head pounding, nose running, sweats not at all fashionable, I went to Trader Joe’s to buy myself some junk food (it’s healthier if it comes from Trader Joe’s, right?) And as I was walking to the one open checkout stand, I nearly ran into this guy heading for the very same open lane. This GORGEOUS guy. He looked like an older, more roguish version of the character Peter Petrelli from Heroes. Seriously. We stopped and looked at each other in total acknowledgement that we were both racing for the same open register. Then he stepped back, smiled, and said, “Go ahead.â€
Mmmmmruh! Is that the opening to a romance novel, or what?
The moment passed, but I’ve got to say, it’s these random drops of mmmruh – absorbing them into my life and incorporating them into my writing – that keeps me bouncing around in this maelstrom we call life. Endless war, random shootings, rampant indoctrinated prevarication, escalating gas prices, a widening gap in the ozone, an insane media circus. How can a warm spring evening that reminds me of home or a student telling me she’ll miss me compete with all that? How on earth does the creative spirit prevail?
Attitude, plain and simple. We just have to allow ourselves to drink in those moments of mmmruh, savor them, remember them, and make them matter.
Geralyn Ruane’s favorite Hardy Boy is whichever one Parker Stevenson played, and these days she writes romance, chick lit and women’s fiction. Last year her short story “Jane Austen Meets the New York Giants†was published in the New York Times Bestselling anthology The Right Words at the Right Time Volume 2.
by Gina Black
So you want to have a website, or maybe you think you should have a website, but the whole thing is so confusing you’ve done absolutely n-o-t-h-i-n-g.
Don’t despair. It’s not that complicated. Really. Let me help get you started by sharing my version of website A, B, C’s.
A is for address. Just like every business, if you’re going to have a website, your customers (or readers) need to be able to find it. Remember: Location, location, location. To a writer that means you want your name in the address (or domain name). If your website is set up properly they will be able to Google you anyway, but make it as easy as possible by buying yourname.com. But what if (like in my case) the .com that goes with your name is already taken? Then go for .net or put a hyphen in your name (gina-black.com wasn’t taken so I grabbed it), or do whatever you can think of to get it as close to yourname.com as possible. Are you going to write under a pseudonym? Then buy that too, while you’re at it. If possible, get both the .com and .net. One caveat: when you purchase your domain name your information (name, address, email, phone contact) goes on public record. If you don’t want that you can pay for a private registration (with some companies), or get a P.O. Box, which is a good thing for any author to have anyway.
But, you say, you don’t want to set up the website now. Not a problem, says I. You can buy the domain name at any time and hold onto it until you are ready to . . .
B is for build your website. In order to do that, you need a place to put it. In cyberspace, the equivalent of “land” is space on a server. Your server can be located anywhere in the world. Mine happens to be in England (just because I felt like it). There are loads of companies that would love to sell you space on their computers for your website.
C is for content (which is made out of code–called HTML, but I’m not going into that today). What kind of a cyber-home do you want? For this I can only offer you the simple advice that your website should reflect your voice and the kind of stories you tell. Some authors include lots of personal information, some don’t even have an author photo, some include blogs, and discussion forums, some have just a page or two to advertise their books and provide links to booksellers. Spend a day or two touring the various cyber-neighborhoods, make notes about what you like and bookmark the sites you love. If you aren’t a graphic designer, or don’t want to figure out how to build it yourself you can hire someone to make it for you, but it will be easier for you and them if you can tell them what you want, including colors, tone, and style. If you hire someone they might want to sell you a whole package of domain name, server space, and web design with monthly updates. The more you understand, the easier it will be to find someone who can give you what you want for what you can afford. Or, you could try it yourself!
So now that you know what you need, where do you start? I don’t want this to turn into a commercial, and it really is good to do your own research, so, I’ve included some links to Google searches:
Domain name registration
Website hosts (servers)
Web designers (for authors)
Remember, no endorsements here, just a place to start. Especially with web designers, you might wish to find one through a referral from someone who has a site you particularly like.
And yes, her computer screen really has burned itself into her glasses.
.
How a Nutritionist (Nearly) Wrecked My Writing Career
By Theresa Montana
“Sugar,†the young professional woman sitting across from me declared. She picked up an orange highlighter and uncapped it with a vengeance, and then she drew a neon orange line through the very first entry of my eating journal.
I shifted on the uncomfortable little exam table. “I didn’t put any sugar in that cappuccino, only Splenda.â€
She arched an eyebrow. “Lactose,†she informed me. “Milk is at least half sugar.â€
“But the South Beach diet…â€
“Didn’t read it.â€
“Don’t women my age need lots of calcium? I have a family history of osteoporosis.â€
“There are other sources of calcium, you know.†She made a notation on the “Vitamin and Supplement Schedule†on the counter by the sink.
Theresa, I silently scolded myself, you paid $500 for this consultation. Don’t argue with the nutritionist; shut up and listen.
I watched in horror as the lady highlighted three-quarters of the entries in my food log, including fruit, milk and whole grains. She then went on to explain to me how men and women from the Paleolithic period ate. “Hunters and gathers ate lots of meat and vegetables, maybe some nuts and berries†She explained. “Only an occasional tuber and fruit only when it was in season. Certainly none of this tropical fruit we now get year round.â€
Tropical cave people ate tropical fruit year round, I thought.
“And no grains! Grains came with the advent of the farming.â€
She silenced my skepticism by putting me on a body fat scale. While I was still recovering from the trauma of learning how much of my body consisted of fat, she sold me $350 of high end vitamins and supplements.
Evidently she didn’t think that my gummy vitamins were doing the trick.
Later that week I met with my writing critique group at the Barnes and Noble Café. They managed not to comment when I showed up at our usual table with herbal tea, instead of my usual ice mocha with whipped cream. I put a baggie full of celery amidst the array of chocolates and pastries on the table, and then I reached into my little white shopping bag and poured out seven pills from various bottles onto a napkin.
“What the hell?†Jen, one of my writing partners, asked loudly. Suddenly every patron in the café was silent and looking in my direction.
“Don’t even go there,†I warned all three of my writing partners. “Let’s get to work.â€
Char frowned over my manuscript. “Where’s your heroine’s usual wit and warmth? This dialogue makes her seem so…nasty.â€
“Not all heroines are nice and compliant,†I informed her. “I decided she needed a little edge.â€
The next week’s consult with the dietician went a little better, until she found the macaroni and cheese listed on my food journal.
“I used whole grain pasta and low fat cheese,†I told her. “It went over really big with my kids.â€
Apparently she missed the sarcasm. “Theresa, Theresa, Theresa,†she shook her head sadly. “You just don’t get it.â€
I tried to tell her how my kids were eating over at their friends more and more often, how my husband was working late every night at the office.
But she merely pointed at another entry. “Two glasses of wine?†she shrilled. “Tortilla chips? Haven’t you heard about trans fats?â€
Somewhere I had read about them. “Once a week my husband and I have a couple of drinks with my next door neighbors. The wife’s from Guatemala. She’s a fantastic cook.â€
I stared into the incredulous eyes of the nutritionist.
“They eat lots of black beans,†I offered weakly. “They’re healthy, aren’t they?â€
“Your friend is sabotaging you. I don’t think you should go over there too often.â€
“I won’t,†I promised. “Just don’t put me on that scale, please…â€
I humbly bought another $250 in supplements, but I just had to ask her one thing. ‘Hunter and Gathers didn’t travel around with shopping bags full of pills and powders, did they?â€
“Modern farming techniques have depleted the quantity and quality of nutrients in the food supply. And you’re nowhere near as active as a hunter-gatherer.â€
“What? I go to Curves.â€
Critique group of the same week didn’t go smoothly either. We went over Char’s synopsis. Like all novelists, Char hated writing a synopsis, and it showed. This one lacked her usual graceful style. It was downright choppy.
“Char,†I exclaimed. “What’s up with this sentence structure? These sentences are just horrible!â€
Later in the evening I suggested to another critique partner that she give us her chapters in sequence so I could actually follow her plot. To top it all, I told Jen that she might stick to writing one novel at a time so that she could actually finish one of them.
“What is in those pills you’re taking?†Jen inquired.
“Not sugar or caffeine,†I lamented.
At the next meeting of my writing group, no one could follow my muddy prose. My plot wasn’t logical. My characters were not consistent. And I got confused trying to jot down so many comments.
The week after that, I didn’t bring any writing submission at all. “I haven’t written a word,†I confessed. “I’ve had this nagging headache all week.â€
The next time I saw the dietician, I told her that I was feeling crappy and that I had “used†sugar once or twice during the past two weeks.
“Don’t lapse back into your sugar addiction!†she begged me.
“Look,†she continued. “You’re just serotonin-seeking.†She turned toward her locked cabinet of pricey vitamins and herbal concoction. “Maybe some amino acids or more B vitamins,†she murmured.
“You’re damn right I’m serotonin-seeking!†I answered.
My outburst caught her off guard. She pointed to the Janet Evanovich book in my hand. “What are you reading?†she asked me in an obvious ploy to distract me.
It worked. I never could resist talking about books. “This little gem is just hysterical. It’s laugh-out-loud funny. There’s even nutritional humor.â€
“Hmm?â€
“In one book the protagonist’s side kick tries out the Atkins diet. In another there’s a scene where a recently divorced women hijacks a Cheetohs delivery truck and by the time the authorities track her down she’s covered in yellow dust.â€
The crisp young woman stared at me blankly. “I don’t read fiction.â€
“What? What do you read for pleasure?â€
“Professional journals.â€
“I mean for leisure reading.â€
“I really enjoy reading medical journals,†she insisted.
“You put medical journals in your beach bag? On your bedside table? Even in the bathroom?â€
She looked at me askance. “I don’t read in the bathroom. Yuck.â€
I never saw her again. We were just not on the same page. Heck we were not even reading the same books.
Furthermore, I decided that I didn’t really want to model my eating habits after Clan of the Cave Bear. True, most cave men didn’t develop chronic diseases, but that was because they didn’t live long enough. Many hunter-gathers died young from consuming parasites in their meat or munching on poisonous leaves and grasses. I can imagine that some cave dwellers might’ve died from eating hallucinogenic berries and mushrooms and throwing themselves off a nearby cliff or into the closest fire.
But I know of no Paleolithic human who wrote a novel or even a memoir–because coffee houses had yet to be invented.
The Climbing Career Path
of
Suzanne Forster
by Sandy Novy-Chvostal
Suzanne Forster, author of The Arrangement (Mira) released this month, advises writers who have hit a wall to talk to their characters. “Find out who they are, what they want, and most importantly, identify their wound,” says Suzanne. “Pain and pain avoidance are the prime motivators for almost everything we do in life, even our humor.”
And who would know that better than this best-selling author, who never intended to be a romance author, until a fateful accident changed her plans, and then her dreams, as well?
Q. You’ve said that for you, becoming a writer, was literally an accident. Can you explain in more detail?
I had a car accident. I was in a doctoral program in clinical psychology at the time, but the accident was serious enough that I had to drop out. My recovery was a long one, and I began writing to fill the hours. Being Type A, I wasn’t content with something non-taxing, like journal writing. I had to turn it into a novel. Unfortunately, it was a really dreadful novel, and as soon as I was physically able, I started taking classes at the local community college. Within a year I was in enrolled in a novel-writing workshop and involved in my second tome, which was only marginally better than the first. It was the third attempt that made the finals in the Golden Heart, and ultimately became my first published book, Undercover Angel.
Q. How does your background in psychology affect your writing? Characterization?
A: In more ways than I can possibly recount. I thought it might be a drawback because I hadn’t had the exposure to classic literature and story analysis that most English majors have, but once I’d filled in some of the basics with classes in novel, script and poetry writing, I realized that my studies in psychology were going to be a plus. Understanding the different personality types and what motivated them helped tremendously in developing characters and storylines. But it was my curiosity about some of the darker aspects of human behavior and why people do what they do that led me to major in psychology, so I was really fascinated with the unconscious conflicts that drive our defense mechanisms, our manipulations, and create our blind spots. The secrets we keep from each and from ourselves are the basis of many of my suspense plots, and I think my preference for characters with interesting flaws and psychological dilemmas may have been the result of all those hours immersed in Freudian and Jungian theory.
So, the psychology didn’t pay off in any expected way, but it did pay off. It even helped with the romantic comedies I’ve written. Understanding human foibles and frailties and being able to laugh at them has inspired many a quirky plot idea.
Q. What do you enjoy most about writing?
A: I love the idea stage of a story, which for me includes writing the story proposal and the first draft. The second and third drafts, not so much. Revisions, ugh!
Q. What do you find the most challenging about being a writer?
A: My first inclination was to say that revisions are the most challenging, and in a technical sense, I think that’s true. But the most challenging thing about the writing life for me is the isolation. I don’t know what I’d do without my writers’ loops and my Yahoo readers’ group. It used to be the phone that kept me connected, but now it’s the internet.
Q. If I’ve counted right, The Arrangement (Mira), will be your 30th release. You’ve hit the lists–New York Times, USA Today–and you’re one of the few authors to have received a 5 from Romantic Times. How did this impact your career?
A: Looking back over the entire twenty-plus years of my career, I think getting the 5 rating from RT had a major impact. I was writing series romance in relative obscurity until then, and no one was more stunned at RT’s announcement than I was, especially since I didn’t know they gave out 5s. It probably also helped that they hadn’t awarded one in the two years before I got mine. Plus, it just happened to be July, the month of the RWA national conference, so there was the advantage of lots of writers congregated in one place, and lots of buzz. Timing really is everything, but I had nothing to do with that, of course. It was just dumb luck, for which I am eternally grateful.
I suspect the 5 was also instrumental in my move from series to single title because of the agents and editors who might not have noticed or read my work otherwise. And again the timing was such that romance sales were strong, and several series authors were being encouraged to move into single title. Editors were actually looking for authors who might be able to make the move, and Again I was fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time. I sometimes wonder what the probability is of the convergence of all those elements at one time. It wouldn’t surprise me if it were similar to winning the lottery. I was just very very lucky.
Another career event that made a big difference was having the interest of more than one publisher when I moved into single title. That created a small, but significant, bidding situation that made it possible for me to write a single title book for as much as I’d been making writing several series romances. Otherwise, it would have been very difficult financially. In general, single title books are longer and more complex, but the starting advances often don’t reflect that. It’s one of the reasons many series writers have elected not to make the move. Again, for me, it was timing, luck, and a bit of networking that made the difference.
Q. Besides your popularity, was there another factor that instigated the bidding war?
A: There were several. As I mentioned, some very popular series authors had moved into single title and were doing extraordinarily well. They blazed the trail for all of us who followed. The resurgence of interest in sexy romantic suspense helped too. My series romances had been evolving in that direction, and while my editor nurtured that interest, she also noticed that my stories were bursting at the seams. She was several steps ahead of me in thinking that I might be ready to make the move. Ironically, she moved before I did to another publisher.
She took an editing position at another publishing house, but remained interested in working with me. That’s how the bidding situation came about. I’d been writing series, so there was no option clause involved. Technically, I was free to submit my single title idea to both my current editor and the editor who’d moved, and both agreed to look at a detailed story proposal in lieu of a partial manuscript, which would have involved a short synopsis and chapters.
Talk about pressure. I knew I had to come up with the mother of all synopses, because that was essentially what I would be doing–writing a longer, more detailed synopsis with all the hooks and selling points of a story proposal. I opened with a two-paragraph teaser, similar to a back cover blurb, but my real goal was to make the ensuing pages read like a page-turning short story. In this case, it worked. That synopsis resulted in a two-book, six-figure deal and the story proposal became my single title debut novel, Shameless.
Q. Is there anything you wish you’d done differently?
A: Oh, so many things. In retrospect, it seems as if I’ve made questionable choices several times along the way. I’d be in trouble if I were to go into detail, but generally speaking, things like staying with agents and publishers when I probably should have left, and leaving agents and publishers when I probably should have stayed, and every other possible combination of those variables. But I also know that I made the best decisions I could have at the time, given what I knew. So yes, there may be a couple things I would do differently if I could travel back in time, but I don’t regret anything. Regretting choices is a time and energy waster, very counterproductive. Whoever came up with keep your eye on the prize had the right idea.
Q. What advice do you have for new writers?
A: Nothing very exciting, I’m afraid. More than anything, I’d say a writing career takes discipline and perseverance and wanting it really bad. Most of those popular slogans are good advice, such as following your bliss and staying the course, and then there’s Nikes’ Just Do It, which is as profound as it is simple, if you think about it. But don’t think about it, just do it.
Q. Advice for writers that may have hit a wall?
A: If you’ve hit a wall while writing, talk to your characters. You’ve probably lost touch with them or perhaps didn’t know them well enough in the first place. Plumb the depths. Find out who they are, what they want, and most importantly, identify their wound. I think it was Joan Didion who said write from the wound. Pain and pain avoidance are the prime motivators for almost everything we do in life, even our humor.
(Don’t miss reading about Suzanne’s advice on sexual tension in this month’s issue of OCC’s Orange Blossom.)
Sandy Novy-Chvostal (aka Sandra Paul) has a degree in journalism, but prefers to write from the heart. She is married to her high school sweetheart and they have three children, three cats, and one overgrown “puppy.” Romantic Times has labeled Sandra Paul’s work as “outrageously funny and surprisingly perceptive” while Rendezvous stated “Sandra Paul is imagination with wings.”
.
By Alyson Noel
Last Saturday, I took part in an author panel where I was asked—How do you write in such an authentic teen voice? I expected you to be fourteen!
To which I replied—But I am fourteen.
I wasn’t lying, wasn’t trying to be coy about my age or revive a well-worn punch line, because the truth is, for better or worse, deep down inside I’m still stuck in adolescence. I mean, sure I can legally drive, vote, and drink (though not all at once). But just because I have a standing appointment at my hair salon where it takes two hours to recreate the color of my youth, just because, through some enormous fluke, I ended up with a house, a husband, and a handful of credit cards—the usual trappings of a grown up life—that doesn’t mean I’m an adult.
I never feel grown up. I’m not even sure what it means. Grown ups used to be my parents, teachers, and characters I watched on TV. A grown up was June Cleaver with her sweater sets and pearls tucked neatly beneath her apron, a grown up was Lauren Bacall exchanging witty, sophisticated banter with Humphrey Bogart in the old black and white movies my mom made us watch on rainy Sunday afternoons. A grown up always wore shoes that matched her handbag. A grown up was able to make her point without ever resorting to slang.
I don’t own an apron. I live in flip-flops or Frye boots depending on the season, and carry whichever purse holds all of my stuff. I blast my stereo when I drive, singing at the top of my lungs, like I did at sixteen. I over use words like totally and awesome, and when I’m especially enthusiastic am known to say, totally awesome! I still get rock star crushes. I still act immature and giddy when I’m with my friends. I still struggle with a problematic T-zone.
So you can see how getting inside a teenager’s head isn’t all that big of a stretch.
Though I do remember back when I was an authentic teen, back in the days when everyone over twenty-five seemed old, thirty tragically old, and forty downright ancient. And how my mom tried to explain it, telling me how despite the accumulation of birthday candles and wrinkles, deep down inside, she still felt like a kid. And how every time she caught her own reflection, she couldn’t help but think—who’s that old lady?
At the time, I just laughed, thinking she was, well, old.
But now I know she was right. Because depending on the day, I’m 14, 16, or at the very most—25. But rarely, if ever, do I feel grown up.
What about you? To quote my favorite birthday card—How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was? And how does it shape what you write?
Alyson Noel is the author of Faking 19, Art Geeks and Prom Queens, Laguna Cove, Fly Me to the Moon, and the upcoming Kiss & Blog (May 2007). You can visit her at: www.alysonnoel.com
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