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The Write Way (because there is no Right way)….

Writing is a business.

Sure, being a stay at home, full time writer is the best job in the world, but it’s still a job. And you have to treat it like one.

Have set hours when you work. Doesn’t matter when they are–morning, afternoon, the middle of the night. But set that time aside and make it sacrosanct. This is work time. However many hours you can give it, once you’re sitting in front of the computer, you’re at work.

Now, this isn’t easy, I know. Some of us have full time day jobs. Some of us have little kids demanding (and rightfully so), your attention. And some of us (like me), have self discipline issues.

But to create a career out of this business, you have to be able to devote yourself to it. You have to want it more than anything. And you have to fight for it. If you’re lucky enough to be able to stay home and write, you’ll no doubt have family members or neighbors saying “Since you’re home, can you…..” Learn to say ‘no’ and mean it when you have to protect your writing time. If you treat this like a job, everyone else will too.

And remember that this job is like any other in that publishers, editors, agents, expect you to fulfill your contractual obligations. A deadline isn’t a guideline. It’s the time when you’ve agreed to turn in that manuscript. Editors make plans for reading books based on the contract you signed. If you’re a month late, then her schedule takes a hit. And she’s not going to love you for it.

Work hard. Be dependable. And dream Big. In this business, the only one who can slow you down is you.

Maureen Child is the author of more than 100 books and novellas in several different genres. At the moment, she’s making changes to her latest and is about to send it to that editor of hers. On time.

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Dad Jokes

June 15, 2008 by Marianne H. Donley in category Java Plots by marianne h donley tagged as Java Plots

by Marianne H. Donley

I collect Dad Jokes. These are not jokes about dads, but are jokes that dads everywhere tell little kids. Dad Jokes have three things in common:

1. They’re G-rated.
2. They’re lame.
3. You laugh anyway, even years later.

My own dad had a good supple of Dad Jokes starting with “What’s black and white and red all over?” His answer varied according to the age of audience, preschool or kindergarten aged kids got “newspaper” and older kids got “sunburned zebra.” Either way gales of laughter would follow, which fascinated me even as a little kid. Let’s face it, that joke is so old most children are probably born knowing it.

But that joke wasn’t the one that cracked me up. My favorite Dad Joke is (and this is really dating me):

“What”s black and blue, lays in the grass and goes ding-dong?”
“A wounded Avon lady.”

My bothers and sisters and I all went to Catholic school so a close second is:

“What’s black and white, black and white, black and white and black and blue?”
“A nun falling down stairs.”

I should note that we were under strict orders from our mom NOT to tell that joke at school. I am fairly certain that was an order my brother Michael just couldn’t follow, that joke spread though St. Anne’s like wild fire. This was well before the days of “zero tolerance” in our schools where every thing a child says is examined for possible homicidal intent, so no one got expelled as a result. However, it has not escaped my notice that there is a more polite version floating around these days, but I can’t think “a penguin falling down stairs” would have the same humor impact on Catholic school children.

My husband has a pretty good supple of Dad Jokes as well. Our sons still laugh at both:

“Why does an elephant paint his toenails red?”
“To hide in a cherry tree.”

“How can you tell if there’s an elephant in the refrigerator?”
“There are footprints in the butter.”

Our daughter’s favorite Dad Joke was told to her by her Uncle Paul. I know if I just mention this joke she, at age 26, will start laughing. So:

“Want to hear a dirty joke?”
“A white horse fell in the mud.”

Happy Father’s Day!

Marianne H. Donley writes quirky murder mysteries fueled by her life as a mom and a teacher. She makes her home in California with her supportive husband Dennis and two loveable but bad dogs. Her grown children have respectfully asked her to use a pen name which she declined on the grounds that even if some of their more colorful misdeeds make it into her plots, who would know the books are fiction. Besides they weren’t exactly worried about publicly humiliating her while growing up.

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Eye on Hollywood: Lend Me A Hand(s)

June 13, 2008 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as Bobbie Cimo, Eye on Hollywood

by Bobbie Cimo

One day while sitting at my desk, doing some boring administration work, I got a call from Murray Neitlich, head photographer of the CBS Photo Department. A nice man, who was known for his relaxed personality and creative talent behind a photo lens. Not only did Murray shoot all the publicity shots for CBS, but he did album covers for Simon And Garfunkel, Sly and The Family Stone, and Neal Diamond, too.

Murray started the conversation with, â€œBobbie, can you come down to the Photo Gallery. I have some hand models here that Iâ€™m shooting for the Emmyâ€™s, but then I remembered your hands . . . and I want to try something differentâ€

I looked at my hands . . . yep, my nails were polished — and luckily they werenâ€™t chipped, like they usually are. Keep in mind this was before nail salons popped up on every street corner like a Starbucks does today. Most people back then did their own nails. And as a matter of fact, up until about ten years ago, I never had a professional manicure in my life. Also keep in mind, I have a bit of Dennis the Menace in me, as I find it hard not to get in trouble–Iâ€™m always into something, using my hands. So to sit still while waiting for my nails to dry is a challenge in itself. And when I do my nails itâ€™s usually very fast, using quick strokes of the brush. Iâ€™ve never cut my cuticles, and only use hand lotion when Iâ€™m reminded by seeing someone else using it. I know, Iâ€™m hanging my head in shame, as Iâ€™m writing this.

Knowing I could never compete with professional models I was hesitant, but then realizing it was a way to get out of the office, I jumped at the chance.

The whole session took less than an hour. Most of the time was spent on choosing the right back drop to match my nail polish color and to calibrate the lighting for the right effect. I was given instructions on how to hold the Emmy for several different poses and that was about it. Except I do remember thinking how heavy the little sucker was. After the session wrapped, I happily went back to my office. When I returned to work, I told my boss â€œthese handsâ€ (posing them in the air) were too important to be doing office work today. â€œDonâ€™t think so,â€ he replied, as he handed me a stack of stuff that needed to be typed.

Three weeks passed and I heard nothing about the photo shoot. So I just assumed they had decided to go with a professional. After all, it was for the cover of the LA Times’ TV Guide.

The Sunday that the cover came out, I was on my way to Hugh Heftnerâ€™s Playboy Mansion for an all day charitable event, benefiting the John Tracy Clinic (named after the deaf son of the late actor Spencer Tracy). On my way to Hefâ€™s place, curious to see my competitionâ€˜s photo, I double-parked in front of a news stand in Westwood. The first opportunity I got to open the papers was when I stopped for a red light. Staring back at me was an 8 x 10 color photo of my hands inside the paper, on the cover of the TV Guide. After I got over my shock, I went back to the newsstand and bought five more copies.

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Bobbie Cimo is the OCC/RWA Programs Director who has brought us such notable speakers as Dean Koontz, Tami Hoag, Jackie Collins and Robert Crais.

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A Writer’s Pursuit…

June 12, 2008 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as A Writer's Pursuit

Of Feeling Good

So what do you do to stay in a positive frame of mind? Not just when you struggle with your writing, but when Life springs at you from around the corner bashes you on the head with a cast-iron griddle.

For example, some of you already know that my 23-year-old brother-in-law has been in the hospital for the past five weeks, fighting a scary battle for his health, and will most likely be in there a bit longer. My family and I haunted the halls of the ICU for nearly two weeks and held his hand, encouraged him, and even now when heâ€™s in a regular hospital room, he still needs our support, encouragement, and good cheer as he faces complication after complication.

All of us go through tough times like this (I’m certainly not alone in this), so hereâ€™s my question for you: What helps you stand back up, dust yourself off, and straighten your spine, ready to face the battle(s) ahead?

Here are a couple things that have put me in my â€œhappyâ€ place over the past month. And in turn, theyâ€™ve helped me stay positive.

* Laughing helps quite a bit. Do you like to watch comedies? Listen to comedians?

We saw Flight of the Conchords live at the Orpheum a few weeks ago, and damn, for a few hours, it just felt good to let go of that 25-pound stone that seemed to be lodged in my chest. We also own their first season DVD from their HBO series, which my DH and I watch often, and listen to their musical comedy album on iTunes. Obviously, weâ€™re fans of this New Zealand band.

Bret McKenzie and Jemaine Clements put me in my happy place.

* How about listening to a favorite song before you begin your day or when things get stressful?

One of my favorite bands, MUSE, covers the song â€œFeeling Goodâ€ and I love to play this a couple of times in the morning. Below, is a live version from their concert at Wembley Stadium in 2007 that MUSE posted on YouTube (they also post videos for embedding on their MySpace page). Be sure to turn up the volume… 🙂

If you already read my personal blog, then you know Iâ€™m obsessed with this British band. LOL

MUSE definitely puts me in my happy place.

So what about you? What helps you? Do you read a favorite book or series again? Listen to music? Watch a favorite movie? Get together with friends and laugh?

Take Care,

Michele

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