Channel Your Inner Guy….
January 24, 2009 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as Isabel Swift, Presentations, Public SpeakingRecently attended a presentation given by a very smart and talented group of people, but I came away with a powerful impression about girlspeak and boyspeak and a compelling message for people of the female persuasion:
You have got to Channel your Inner Guy when you speak publicly!
Both men and women presented. Both were smart, articulate, but the impact was night and day. Now there were some great women speakers and some not so great men, but there was a steriotypic role tendency that I fall into myself that hit me over the head listening.
You know where I’m taking this. Girlspeak meant presenting their recommendations tentatively, their language filled with caveats, ‘mights,’ ‘coulds,’ efforts to please, to question, to solicit approval, information couched with options and alternatives. If they were a dog, they’d be approaching you head down, ears flattened, tail low and wagging frantically.
And of course the guys would say their piece much more directly and quickly, with focus, specifics, to the point, putting their opinion out there, appearing to know everything, taking the risk. If they were a dog, they’d be sitting up straight or standing, ears pricked, legs apart, tail high, barking loudly for attention.
At worst, boyspeak delivers the not-too-subtle tyranny and bullying of ‘my way or the highway,’ ‘there is one correct opinion & you have just heard it, no conversation, questions or dissent will be tolerated’ and other forms of oppressive language. And girlspeak is sensitized—in the worst case, over sensitized—to that, and can go too far to compensate. But let me tell you, boyspeak was a lot easier to listen to!
Frankly, it is exhausting to listen to girlspeak. My stomach was clenched the whole time wondering where the sentences were going, whether there was any certainty or clarity I could hang my hat on, or whether it was all just a morass of possibilities that I was now supposed to figure out and sort through without clear direction, just a few gentle hints and hopes expressed.
I think there’s a happy medium—a combining of forces that is what a good relationship is all about—that captures the best of both.
It entails channeling your inner guy—you’ve seen it in the yin yang symbol,
or C.G. Jung’s animus/anima: finding that core piece of “other”—of our own direct opposite—that we carry within ourselves.
It means speaking clearly, confidently, directly, with passion and commitment to your point of view—but setting things up briefly at the beginning and/or at the end in a way that opens the door to feedback, or sets up the points to be discussed, what those discussion goals are & how that feedback will be managed.
All tentative and qualifying terms need to be ruthlessly eradicated from the general text. If you can’t bear to get rid of them entirely (I can’t) they go into a one sentence direct, opinionated qualifier. You don’t need to say the recommendations are just your opinion (duh!) and for heaven’s sake don’t be apologetic about having an opinion; you insult the person who is asking you for it.
No one is interested in how nervous you are or how unqualified you feel; they just want you to tell them what you know or recommend in as clear and compelling a manner as you can.
Just shut up about everything else. Ask yourself, would a guy ask that? Say that? Worry about that? No. So forget it.
Later, you can graciously open the door to comments (but don’t stop channeling your inner guy).
Unsolicited advice from Isabel Swift
The Write Way…….
January 23, 2009 by A Slice of Orange in category The Write Way by Maureen Child tagged as Maureen Child, The Write Way
the first book in her new Witch Hunter series coming out. And Blood Magic is going to be amazing. It’s a great book with a terrific story and characters. Still, it’s a First Step and that can be terrifying.
The only way to get past the fear is to take the step anyway. So finish the book you’re working on. Send in that proposal. Enter that contest. Every First Step brings you that much closer to the NEXT First Step. And that brings you closer to your goal.
Advice to Myself as a Newbie Author
January 22, 2009 by A Slice of Orange in category Advice to Myself as a Newbie Author by Shauna Roberts tagged as Advice to Myself as a Newbie Author, Alyson Noëlby Shauna Roberts
http://ShaunaRoberts.blogspot.com
Today’s Guest: Alyson Noël
Alyson Noël is the best-selling and award-winning author of several books for teens and adults, including the upcoming Immortals series (St. Martin’s Griffin) featuring Evermore (February 2009), Blue Moon (August 2009), and three more titles for 2010. Her books have won the National Reader’s Choice Award, made many top ten lists, and appeared on the “CBS Early Show” Give the Gift of Reading segment. She lives with her husband in Laguna Beach, California.
Alyson, if you could travel back in time to before you were first published, what advice would you give yourself?
I remember the moment I got The Call so clearly, it’s as if it’s frozen in time. I was driving north on the 55 freeway on my way to return a rental car to John Wayne Airport when my agent called with the news. And by the time I got to the Avis drop-off, I was way beyond giddy. I was jumping up and down and mumbling unintelligibly to the poor attendant, who wasn’t quite sure what to make of me.
And while the majority of my excitement was due to the sheer elation of finally hearing the words ‘two-book deal’ after several months of rejection, now, looking back, I can honestly say that the other part was due to the misguided belief that the worst was now over—that from that moment on I could expect nothing but sunny skies and smooth sailing.
And so I remained, stuck in a bewildering state of wonder and bliss (because trust me, ignorance really is bliss!), gaping wide-eyed and slack-jawed at all the publishing minutiae happening around me, until my third book, Laguna Cove, was about to hit the shelves. Then my editor quit, I changed agents, and, thinking it might be nice to meet some fellow writerly types with whom to commiserate, I crawled out of my writing cave and joined some professional writers’organizations—something I should’ve done from day one. I learned so much in my first year alone from both RWA and the various Yahoo groups that I joined that I could hardly believe I’d waited so long.
That was also about the time when I discovered that the Internet is your friend. Just as I was lax in joining the writers’ groups, I didn’t really use the Internet for anything other than browsing Nordstrom.com and occasionally updating my Website. Completely oblivious to the huge community of cyberspace book bloggers, readers, and reviewers that were popping up daily, I hadn’t even considered Facebooking, Myspacing, or Twittering (yes, these are all verbs now! Aren’t they?), until I realized everyone around me was doing these things and figured I should maybe try them out too. And while there’s no getting around the fact that social networking sites are a major time suck, they’ve also resulted in numerous review requests, interview requests, bookstore signings, school visits—you name it! None of which would’ve happened if I hadn’t put myself out there like that.
But while it’s truly tempting to go crazy with the promo, I really believe the key to promotion is to know when to say when. I had no promotional strategy for my first two books other than crossing my fingers and hoping for the best, which, thankfully, worked out okay since they went into additional printings on the very first day. But after seeing all the cool bookmarks and book trailers and bookplates to be had, I decided to get me some of those too. And while it’s doubtful that any of these things helps to sell books, they’re fun to have so I continue to do them. Though I truly believe the most effective way to build your readership and promote your books is to write the next book. And then the one after that. And to keep writing, keep perfecting your craft, keep reaching out to your readers in the ways that you can without letting your promotional efforts get in the way of your writing, because all your fans really want from you is to read your next book!
And even though writing is a business, (which also means rejection isn’t personal), just like any business, it’s important to take some time off to relax, rewind, and to recharge your body and brain, which full confession alert is something I still struggle with, so this definitely falls into the “do as I say not as I” category! It’s tempting to work all the time, wanting to get out as many books as you can, but it’s also just as important to carve out some time for some nonwriting fun, making time to get reacquainted with the world outside of the one you created, because trust me, your family, friends, and characters will thank you!
To learn more about Alyson, please visit her Website at http://alysonnoel.com or her blog at http://www.alysonnoel.com/blog.html. Her new book, Evermore, can be found in bookstores in February or preordered online from Amazon.com.
Writer’s Budget
January 19, 2009 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as Member At LargeMonica Stoner Member at Large
No, I don’t have an great ideas for making money as a writer, or for spending what we might make more judiciously. This is about a time budget though the initial idea came from listening to people talk about setting up a money budget.
One of the first ideas put forth is to “pay yourself first.” Put money in a savings account before you pay bills, if only a few dollars, instead of planning to put away what is left at the end of the month. In this same vein, my New Year thought was to stop planning my writing around other activities, thinking I could easily write late at night. Darkness comes and my body points out how important sleep is, and how much we enjoy it.
Write first, before club activities, before recreational baking (yum!), before all but the most necessary of life’s duties. During NaNo I found out I was writing instead of sampling cookie recipes and I actually managed to lose weight, something I never thought could happen when I was parked in front of the computer for so long.
If our writing means as much to us as we think it does, and if our lives are only complete when we struggle with plot and character development, why not schedule fulfillment of our souls and goals before everything else? Okay, we might want to allow for pesky day jobs, and if your life is anything like mine, meals prepared by the husband would consist of canned soup, maybe. Other than that, why not make a commitment to one hour, five pages, whatever the goal, before parties, before club activities. Think of writing as your second job, and give yourself the same respect you give your employer.
Now to follow my own advice. Happy writing.
Writer on the Verge
January 18, 2009 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as Homicide in Hardcover, Kate Carlisle, Writer on the VergeGOT BOOKS?
Yes!!
My books arrived this week!
I opened the big box and pulled out one book and held it in my hand for the first time. It was a pretty special moment for me.
I would’ve liked to have savored the moment but suddenly every book in the box jumped out and attacked me. I wasn’t hurt, just momentarily stunned.
I really think they were just as thrilled to see me as I was to see them. I mean, look at that picture. Is this a love-fest or what?
Cheers!
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