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POKING DEAD THINGS: Confessions of a Romantically Challenged Author

February 15, 2011 by in category The Write Life by Rebecca Forster tagged as , , , , , ,

Rebecca Forster

A dear friend sent me a T-shirt for Christmas that declares, “I love poetry, long walks on the beach and poking dead things with a stick”.

I adore that shirt beyond reason because it so totally captures my outlook on romance. Poetry is okay if it rhythms, beach walks are good if it’s not too hot, but poking dead things with a stick rocks. Please do not take this literally*; realize this is a metaphor for my romantic soul.

All this brings me to the question of the (Valentine’s) day: why am I not romantic? More specifically, why the thought of poking things with a stick accompanied by the person I love is more romantic to me than walking on the beach in the moonlight with a poetry loving guy? Or even more precisely, as an author, why don’t I love writing about – well – love?

I began my career writing category romances. There were many things I liked about the genre – a clearly defined format, brilliant marketing, loyal and supportive readers – yet, when I tried to write sex scenes, I embarrassed myself (not to mention my mother). Worse, I agonized over whether I was doing it right. Good lord, I’d been married for years and had two children, you’d think I would know how to write about ‘IT’.

I tried writing more delicately about romance only to find myself disinterested. I never cared for whispered sweet nothings. I have a wee bit of trouble hearing and there’s nothing worse then asking to have a sweet nothing repeated. Longing looks make me nervous. I once dated a guy who liked to stare into my eyes and all I could think of was that game ‘blink’. I remember that guy didn’t blink and it freaked me out. Long walks are fine but inevitably I find myself hungry and cranky if the walk lasts too long.
How, I wondered, could my incredibly talented romance author friends pen multiple books a year, revel in the challenge of making characters fall in love again and again while I struggled to get my characters to their first kiss? Romances did not come trippingly off my tongue, I had no idea how to build delicious tension, my heart was challenged and therein was the problem. As much as I admired true romance writers, as much as I wanted to be one of them, my heart was different.
The final blow came when I was fired from romance writing by an editor who suggested I was cut out for something different. “You cannot,” he told me, “kill everyone before you get them into bed.”
He was right. I preferred a good murder, a fabulous stalking, an excellent mystery, an angst filled story. But did that preclude writing about romance? I think not. I believe every story needs to have a compelling relationship as part of the mix. So how could I satisfy my romantic heart and my thriller soul? The answer was simple. Romance writers had defined their romanticism; I had not defined mine.

For me, fictional romantic relationships were a means to an end and not an end in and of themselves. My characters fell in love so that the plot stakes would be higher. If you love someone and had to choose their life or yours then that made for great suspense but it also was the ultimate in romance.**
What turns me on as a reader is the same thing that excites me as a writer and intrigues me as a woman. I want to be invested in people with a sense of purpose, people who show their mettle in situations bigger than themselves. That kind of story sets my romantic nerves atinglin’. This take on romantic entanglements wasn’t bad it was just different than my romance-writing counterparts.
Once I gave myself permission to side-step the bedroom, I became a more fluid writer, character relationships grew from the plot and my storytelling took on a new spark. Now, when my characters fall in love it is because they have poked and prodded one another, talked through problems, worked together and, yes, poked dead things with a stick together. It is their inquisitiveness about the world around them, not their exclusive curiosity about one another that define my romantic parameters. Strangely, I find I write more realistic relationships now that I am comfortable with my own rules.

So, I confess, I will always find a body on the beach more exciting than a walk in the moonlight. I will always appreciate the quirky gift over a dozen roses; I will anticipate with bated breath the first kiss of two people who are caught in the crossfire more than two people headed for the bedroom.
The nice thing is that I know there are others out there who think like I do. There are honest-to-God-stick-carrying- dead-thing-poking- curiosity-seeking folk who will fall in love with the way I see love. When we pass our poetry-spouting- hand-holding- dreamy-eyed romantic counterparts on the beach they will smile, we will raise our sticks in greeting and all of us will be romantically satisfied in our own, very special, very unique way.
So, to all you writers, musicians, artists, husbands, wives, girlfriends and boyfriends this Valentine’s day, poke something, walk somewhere, kiss the one you love or watch their back. However you decide to romance that someone special it will be perfect.
*Okay, literally. I do poke dead things with sticks when I find them but I don’t find them very often.

**Currently I am reviewing my romance and women’s fiction novels and find that, indeed, I had a glimmer of a romance writer in me. Dreams, Seasons, and my mother’s favorite, Rainbow’s End even brought a tear to my eye and I think a good cry is always romantic.
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9 to 5: Love, Danger and Romance for the 21st century heroine

February 11, 2011 by in category Archives tagged as , , , , , , , , , , ,

Meet EVELYN Q. DARLING, Romance Reporter at Large, in her first blog today:

In the past, creating a job for a romantic heroine usually meant she was either a governess, a nurse, or in the early twentieth century, a “typewriter,” better known as a secretary.

Take a letter, Miss Jones…

To all writers of romance novels.

Dear Miss, Ms. or Madam:

It has come to this reporter’s attention that several of you have veered away from writing about governesses in dark, gloomy manor houses and pert, red-cheeked nurses and turned to writing about heroines who carry guns, sport black leather and can take a man down in fifty seconds flat.

Really.

What happened to the days when all a heroine had to do to get her man was flutter her black lace fan and bat her soot-caked eyelashes? (Ample cleavage didn’t hurt either.)

It was so much easier when all a writer had to worry about was how many flounces graced her heroine’s gown or the number of hooks on a corset. (A heroine’s age at marriage also determined the size of her waist: if she wed at 18, she aspired that her waist remained at 18 inches.)

And if all else failed, there was always the “smart” heroine who wrote novels, solved mysteries or planted her delicate boots on foreign soil and showed her moxie by becoming a globe-trotting adventuress.

Sigh. Ah, for the good ole days before our heroines decided they wanted equal rights between the sheets. And on the job.

Now to create the modern heroine, a romance writer has to know the difference between a Glock and a Sig Sauer (the latter sounds like a deli sandwich).

Be able to “street speak” in urban fantasies, suck blood without smudging her lipstick in vampire thrillers and shape-shift into an exotic creature with all her parts intact.

So I’m asking all you romance writers to drop me a line and tell me what “dangerous professions” for a heroine you’ve seen in recent novels or in a novel you’re writing.

What’s new for a heroine in the 21st century in the world of “9 to 5” that you haven’t seen or written about before?

I’ll be eagerly awaiting your answers.

Who knows?

Maybe we can start a new trend: Dangerous heroines in tight corsets and red high heels who live in an abandoned subway tunnel and belong to a secret society of lusty Victorian vampires who feed on handsome firefighters.

Then again, maybe not.

Best regards,

Evelyn Q. Darling

Romance Reporter At Large

“Artwork by Jina Bacarr”

The Blonde Samurai: “She embraced the way of the warrior. Two swords. Two loves.”

Jina Bacarr is also the author of The Blonde Geisha ,Cleopatra’s Perfume, Naughty Paris, Tokyo Rendezvous, a Spice Brief, and Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs

visit my website: http://www.jinabacarr.com/

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News You Need by Kitty Bucholtz

February 9, 2011 by in category Archives tagged as

As you’re working through your new goals for this year, you may find some helpful information in the following articles. It’s been one of those months where every other email I open has some great tidbit in it and I wanted to share it all with you. Some of it is news, some are warnings, some have opportunities, and some have ideas for your craft. Hopefully, some of it will help you to have a more successful year! 🙂

I saw a documentary on TV that a friend of mine produced and it was so fascinating that I went online to find more information. Here is a post from 2009 at The Book Deal about how your brain works and whether you can help it become more creative to improve your writing.

I’m excited to find out about John Maxwell’s new 1-minute word-of-the-day videos. John is an excellent motivational speaker and writer. I’ve read several of his books and they have helped me in building the kind of writing business I can be happy with. I get the daily video in my Inbox and each one helps me to focus on a characteristic that could make me a better leader, including leading myself.

There are some writing contests that are gimmicks for bad business. Agent Janet Reid tells you about one to beware of (though I think with all the bad press this last week, the contest’s web site is already down) and she gives you the warning signs for future reference. The Writer Beware blog also has a good post on agent solicitations and how to spot the red flags. And here’s an article from WritersWeekly about a company that buys 5-star book reviews and recruits writers to write them.

Paperback Writer (Lynn Viehl) posted a list on her blog of ten writing opportunities she’s found recently. Cindi Myers also posts writing opportunities every week.

The Romance Writers of America’s Fantasy, Futuristic and Paranormal chapter’s blog is bursting with great articles on the craft – world building and more world building, creating a story bible, secrets of successful authors, point of view, what to do with your blog, and so much more. This is a great blog for picking up lots of useful tips!

At Inkhaven, there’s a re-post of a blog called Lessons from the Slush Pile. The author is an Assistant Editor at a magazine.

I’ve seen a few emails about Jerry Seinfeld’s Don’t Break the Chain calendar. CJ Lyons talks about it here. It’s a fun and simple way to keep working on your writing career every day. Download your own free calendar from The Writer’s Store here.

I’m linking to this 2006 interview with YA and children’s book writer Cornelia Funke because I love her work! As with so many great writers, there are lots of little encouragements and tips to be gleaned by reading the interview.

Finally, living in Australia, I must comment on the Queensland floods. A friend of a friend posted this article about the amazing generosity of strangers and included pictures of her mother’s house and the wonderful people who helped them clean up. The generosity of writers and readers around the world is helping to replace books in libraries, and give books away to people who have lost everything and need a little storytelling escape. The Romance Writers of Australia have organized ways for you to help here.

Kitty Bucholtz is a writer and speaker, and a member of Romance Writers of America and Romance Writers of Australia. She co-founded Routines for Writers (http://www.routinesforwriters.com/) a web site dedicated to helping writers write more. In 2011, Kitty will receive her Master of Arts degree in Creative Writing from University of Technology, Sydney.

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The Romance of Cookbooks

February 8, 2011 by in category Archives

Okay, I confess. The five pounds I gained over Christmas and New Year are still there. Still stopping me from wearing my jeans (for some reason, my family objects when I leave my jeans even discreetly unzippered). Still making me remove my wedding ring in the hope of tipping the balance of my bathroom scales one measly ounce in my favor.

It shouldn’t be this way. Theoretically, the moment the addition of cranberry sauce to every sandwich ceases, the moment the last remnants of the Christmas pudding have been washed down with whipped cream, those five pounds should melt away. Slowly, maybe, but melt nonetheless.

Ain’t happenin’.

And I know why. Because I was given a total of five cookbooks for Christmas and my adjacent birthday – the works of Yotam Ottolenghi, Gordon Ramsay, Peter Gordon, Darina Allen and Bill Granger now grace my kitchen shelves. (No one gave me the new Nigella Lawson book, but that’s a whole ’nother grudge…are you reading this, family dearest?).

I love reading cookbooks – I can do it for hours at a time. But reading’s not enough…then I have to cook the stuff. Then I have to eat it. Yep, instead of sipping on fat-busting green tea while I eat bland chicken salads, I’m whipping up lamb curry, ricotta hotcakes with maple syrup, crème brulée. And eating them.

I’m doomed.

Oh, well, might as go out in style…maybe tonight I’ll try the pork fillet stroganoff.

When I’ve finished eating and am lying on the sofa too stuffed to move, I’ll be ready for more cookbooks to read – I’d love to know your favorites!

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Waiting, Planning, and Obsessing

February 6, 2011 by in category Pets, Romance & Lots of Suspense by Linda O. Johnston tagged as , , , ,

by Linda O. Johnston

It’s February. I’m obsessed.

With what? Planning for the March release of BEAGLEMANIA, the first in my new Pet Rescue Mystery series, a spinoff from my Kendra Ballantyne, Pet-Sitter Mysteries. It’s all about Lauren Vancouver, who was introduced in HOWL DEADLY and also appeared in FELINE FATALE, both Kendra mysteries. She runs a no-kill animal shelter in the San Fernando Valley. Saving animals is her obsession. Poor thing will soon start tripping over dead bodies, too.

I believe that all of us write, in some ways, about our obsessions. Romance is certainly something we all obsess over at times. Mysteries and suspense? Less so, maybe, but those of us who write cozy mysteries often feature protagonists who engage in hobbies or other ventures that we love–while they’re solving murders, too.

I love it each time one of my books is released. This one, though, is in some ways more exciting. Why? Maybe it’s because, like Lauren, I’ve become a bit obsessed with pet rescue issues. I volunteer as a dog adoption counselor at Pet Orphans of Southern California. And I just became the LA Pet Rescue Examiner. Be sure to come and check out my Examiner.com articles!

Some of my excitement is because this will be the launch of a brand new series that addresses difficult issues in a way that, I hope, is both amusing and educational. For example, BEAGLEMANIA starts at a puppy mill rescue. The stories are cozy mysteries, so of course there are murders that get wrapped up at the end. In the Pet Rescue Mysteries, “no-kill” refers to pets, not people!

So far, no shapeshifters have appeared in my Pet Rescue Mystery manuscripts. I’m saving them for my upcoming Harlequin Nocturnes, which I’m also looking forward to. But you can see that all my obsessions seem to involve animals.

What are your obsessions, and do you write about them?

Be sure to watch for the new Lauren Vancouver, Pet Rescuer series! The first book BEAGLE MANIA will be out in March 2011. It’s a spin-off from the Kendra series, and Lauren was introduced in HOWL DEADLY.

Linda O. Johnston
http://www.lindaojohnston.com/
http://www.killerhobbies.blogspot.com/

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