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What Is It About Virginity?

May 24, 2012 by in category Archives

No, not just that kind.  I’m thinking of all kinds of firsts, any first.
While virginity in other areas don’t get nearly the play that sexual innocence/experience gets (why is that?), many firsts are paradigm-altering experiences.
In youth, life starts with non-stop firsts.  Everything is a first—first breath, first cry, first word, first smile, first tooth, first food, first step.  Of course the proportions change over time—from 100% firsts in those intial hours, dropping to a still demanding percentage of firsts Vs familiar: first school, first friend, first fight, first love, first job, etc.
As we explore, experiment and stake out our ground, we often build a life around the familiar, shrinking that percentage of demanding firsts we have to experience.  We’ve found our sweet spot, our comfort zone, our wheelhouse.  
Yes, we understand our job as parents and mentors: we must push children, students, trainees to expand their horizons, open their eyes and minds to a world of possibilities, but hey, we’ve BTDT (Been There, Done That).  We don’t need to do it again.  It’s exhausting, time consuming, scary, disappointing, uncomfortable.  Something we encourage others to do, extolling the benefits of remaining open to new ideas, continuous learning, etc.
So I was wondering—what makes it hard to try something new?
And I realized that when you are a virgin/newbie approaching any new situation, you maintain a constant 360º scan of the situation, holding all potential options (given the lack of prior experience) open and possible.  Depending on your personality or level of experience in related areas, your need to maintain a high-gain assessment of all information can vary, but the constant data flow can be significant and challenging to process.
Powering that constant scan consumes energy—you are not only trying to assess all the possibilities, but may (if more compulsive, or if this is a value-laden or important first) do some scenario building off of that 360 degrees of possibility, increasing the amount of information that has to stay active and running on your “screen.”
When that 360º energy-intensive radar goes on for anyone who feels compelled to think ahead, it is tiring.  If we are frequently trying new things, we get used to it.  Like daily exercise, our mental muscles adjust and accommodate.  But for those who aren’t in shape, the learning curve of newness can feel very daunting, a steep hill to climb.  We may give up, forgetting how quickly that initial learning curve can pass with minimal experience, narrowing that 360º circle into an ever smaller and more focused slice of the pie, enabling us to rapidly eliminate and jettison inappropriate options or scenarios.
Learning can be a heady experience, as we offload unecessary information that has been cluttering our mind, like cleaning house.
In general, I have observed three broad attitudes/approaches—perhaps you have experienced others…
The Laissez Faire:  So if you’re not so compulsive or caring, and something new comes up, you might not switch into high gear.  You’re in the “Whatever” school that believes in minimum to no effort and deal with it (or abandon it) if things blow up. Relatively low increased energy required for approaching something new.
The Go For Its: Another mindset falls in the toss-it-in-the-air-and-See-If-It-Sticks (SIIS) school.  Simultaneously adventurous and lazy, this group is afraid to pre-think much, as that will lead to a never-ending list of what-ifs, inaction and depression.  However, there’s some kind of mental mechanism that kicks in while they are dithering which launches them into the challenge willy-nilly.  They, closing their eyes, take the leap and deal real-time with the possible consequences of unthought-through actions. Energy only required if things go awry!
I Am, Therefore I Think: The third group are the pre-thinkers, sometimes so good at their job that no action is ever able to be taken!  The wide spectrum of this group can range from the thoughtful plan-aheader to the truly obsessive I-must-think-of-everything-or-else-there-will-be-a-break-in-the-Force-and-the-world-will-end. Required energy can be medium, to high…to off the charts. For the extremists in this segment, seemingly “simple” tasks or decisions can be overwhelming.  To illustrate this, consider taking a small number, say 2, but then saying you have to think of it to the tenth power.  The complexity increases exponentially.
Of course, there’s always the straightforward fear of looking like an idiot, which is always a disincentive to trying something new.  Get over it. Try something new. Don’t expect yourself to be perfect from the start.  
Embrace failure, for without it, there is no learning. And remember that something not working out the way you had planned (“failure”) may be a door that opens a new direction, insight, opportunity.
Really.
Isabel Swift (learning to knit…)
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So What Are You Wearing to the Rita’s? No Really…

May 23, 2012 by in category Archives tagged as , , ,


Until the May meeting, I really hadn’t thought too much about the 2012 National Romance Writers of America Conference. I mean, I had…I registered and paid for it, I looked over the list of editors and agents that would be attending checked out the workshops, made hotel arrangements, okay, Joyce and Julie made hotel arrangements and included me in them, but that counts right? (Have I mentioned to you guys that I’m the Queen of Run On Sentences? No really I am!) But, it was something I was doing later, in the future so it didn’t seem real. Okay, the credit card bill was pretty real, but the event still seemed far away to me.
I wasn’t even going to go. My husband, Paul, the real life hero in the romance story of my life, henceforth referred to as Hunky Hubby (it’s a long story, but that’s his name now in my other blogs, so it might as well be here) was laid off in February, just before registration. He was off for several weeks and I couldn’t justify spending five hundred dollars on registration, two to three hundred on a hotel room, who knows how much on food…and possibly wine, and then whatever else comes up, because it will. I mean I still have to find a dress for the RITA’s!! What is everyone else wearing please help!!
So I wasn’t going to go. But, Hunky Hubby intervened. “This is for your career, you’re not going on a girl’s weekend to Vegas, you needto do this.” (Ha, little does he know!) It took him a couple of weeks to convince me. I’m the one who pays the bills and manages the money and in general I’m pretty frugal. I finally broke down and registered April 9th, yes the very last day of the early registration discount.
But I wasn’t excited, maybe it was the guilt, maybe just life has been so hectic. I didn’t get excited until the last OCC meeting. Everyone was talking about the upcoming conference, previous conferences, sharing tips, talking about writers, editors and agents that would be there, workshops to attend and all of the books!!
Now I’m excited. Not just excited, but motivated and even a little nervous. My writing productivity has greatly increased since the meeting. I’m making lists of things I need to remember to take, I’m looking online at semi-formal dresses for RITA…seriously, what are you guys wearing??
I was told not to take my manuscript that editors and agents won’t take them there, but Hunky Hubby has decided I need to take my manuscript. In fact, he’s convinced I need to take a hundred copies, so he’s putting it on hundreds of little flash drives for me to carry and hand to every editor or agent that I meet, and anyone who looks like they could be an editor or agent. I on the other hand am ordering business cards to distribute instead. Don’t tell Hunky Hubby.
I’m worried that Hunky Hubby and Middle Son (Middle Son is the last son living at home) will starve while I’m gone. I mean, neither cooks, well, they do grill, but they won’t even make themselves a sandwich and they’ll sit at the dining table, Hunky Hubby with a cold beer and Middle Son with a can of soda (he’s 22, but I’m in denial) waiting for me to serve their dinner each evening. Or, Middle Son will pick up pizza or tacos every night, and they’ll have subway for lunch. Okay, I guess they won’t starve.
And then there’s my manuscript. Can I expand my word count enough and have it polished in time? And my pitch, I don’t even want to think about my pitch, but of course, I’m constantly thinking about my pitch. OMG I HAVE TO GIVE A PITCH….MORE THAN ONCE.
So what are you all going to wear to the RITA’s? Can you please tell me so I can relax and quit worrying about the conference? Please?

Tari
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May/June Contest Deadlines

May 20, 2012 by in category Archives tagged as , ,

by Donna Caubarreaux and Pepper Phillips  


MAY CONTEST DEADLINES
The Molly

Heart of Denver Romance Writers
Entry Deadline: May 25, 2012
First pages up to 30. Synopsis: Up to five pages max.
http://www.hodrw.com/contests/the-2012-molly-unpublished-writer-contest/

Emerald City Opener
Greater Seattle RWA
Deadline: May 31, 2012
First seven pages of your manuscript.
http://gsrwa.org/contest.php





JUNE CONTEST DEADLINES


The Catherine
Toronto Romance Writers
Due by June 1, 2012 – 11:59 EST
Enter no more than thirty pages. Beginning + Synopsis.
http://www.torontoromancewriters.com/contest.html

Colorado Gold Writing Contest
Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers
Deadline: June 1, 2012 – 11:59pm
First twenty pages and eight page synopsis.
http://www.rmfw.org/contest

Minuet of Love Novella Contest
Music City Romance Writers
Deadline: before Midnight, June 1, 2012
First ten pages.
http://www.mcrw.com/index.php/minuet-of-love-novella-contest/

Lone Star Contest
Northwest Houston RWA
Received by Midnight, June 9, 2012
First twenty-five pages.
http://nwhrwa.com/writers-events/lonestar-contest/

Maggie for Unpublished Authors Contest
Georgia Romance Writers
Received by June 10, 2012
Beginning and synopsis not to exceed thirty-five pages.
http://www.georgiaromancewriters.org/the-maggies/2011-maggie-awards-for-unpublished-romance-novelists-rules/

Aspen Gold for Published Authors
Heart of Denver Romance Writers
Received by June 15, 2012
Copyright of 2011
http://www.hodrw.com/contests/welcome-to-the-2012-aspen-gold-published-writers-contest/aspen-gold-entry-forms/

Heart of Excellence for Published Authors
Ancient City Romance Authors
Postmarked by June 15, 2012
Copyright of 2011
http://acrarwa.com/Heart_of_Excellence.html

RWA Region 1 – Golden Leaf Contest for Published Authors
New Jersey Romance Romance Writers
Postmarked by June 20th, received by June 25, 2012
Copyright date of July 2011 – June 2012
http://njromancewriters.org/index.php?/njrw_contest/golden_leaf_contest/

Beacon Contest for Published Authors
First Coast Romance Writers
Postmarked by June 30, 2012
Copyright of 2011
http://www.firstcoastromancewriters.com/?page_id=215

Novel Contest: Great Beginnings
Maryland Writers’ Association
Ends June 30, 2012
First 7000 words of your novel and a 300-500 word synopsis of the novel.
http://www.marylandwriters.org/

The Rebecca

Land of Enchatement Romance Authors
Deadline June 30, 2012
Opening 5k words.
http://www.leranm.com/


Check out Contests and Contest Winners on: http://contestdivas.blogspot.com/
Check out the Award Winning Romance Books on: http://awardwinningromances.blogspot.com/
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Contest Alert-All the news on upcoming contests, plus Finalist & Winner listings, questions, etc. Sign up now!
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Updated and all sites tested.
Compiled by Donna Caubarreaux and Pepper Phillips.
May be forwarded with credits.

Donna Caubarreaux is a member of Coeur de Louisiane, Scriptscene Chapter, NOLA Stars, Heart of Louisiana, ESPAN and EPIC. She received a RWA Service Award in 1997.
Pepper Phillips is the author of “The Devil Has Dimples”.
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PARTY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

May 20, 2012 by in category Archives

Mona Karel, member at large

Yep, it’s time for the launch party for “Teach Me to Forget,” the second rose I received at the April meeting. Release was actually last Saturday, with Amazon jumping the gun by a couple of days. Since everyone I know was busy doing something else, I had a party by myself. Sort of.

I got a case of Black Opal wine.

My very prettiest wine goblet, and brought up Teach Me To Forget on the computer.

Didn’t actually open the wine, I’ll wait until some friends come over. But I did stage a wicked party, don’t you think???

“Teach Me To Forget” came from the first time we rented a motor home. Lying snuggled up in the top bunk, rain pattering on the roof just a few inches above our heads, was amazingly cozy and romantic. The story grew from that moment. Of course I made Jonathan and Bethany go through a long “getting to know you” span of time before they could really enjoy that bunk.

An abused child-bride of a dissolute jet setter, Bethany Acton has come a long way. Now divorced and single, she writes for a lifestyles magazine, lives out of her motor home, and answers only to her boss—when he can find her. She has overcome her horrendous past and taken control of her own life. But when she meets Jonathan Merritt, a wildlife photographer, she learns that control is a tenuous thing.
Thanks for joining the party, everyone.  And for all the love and support you have given me through the years.

.

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What A Dog!

May 15, 2012 by in category Archives tagged as , , , , , , , ,
My grand dog Tucker

Today a lady wrote to tell me she loved my book Hostile Witness* because I hadn’t killed Max. I’ve been traveling a lot in the last three weeks and it took me a minute to figure out who Max was and why it was so important to her that he was alive. Max, of course, is Josie Bates’ dog; Josie is the heroine of the witness series. I was touched by the reader’s concern for the fictional canine.

As an author and a reader I had to ask myself: Why is a book that includes animals richer, more entertaining, and more engaging than one without? The answer was simple: Animals bring out the best and the worst in a human character. This makes for great drama and provides an emotional touch point that is critical for an exciting read.

Max-the-Dog (his legal name) was originally created as a reflection of Josie, his mistress. Both had been abandoned, both had to fight for their lives, both were protective of others. But Max became so much more than Josie’s mirror as the series unfolded.

Here are four ways Max made a difference in the witness series:

HE ENHANCED HUMAN CHARACTERIZATION: Those who attack him were inherently more evil than a bad guy who ignored him. Those who love Max were more admirable because they cared for and protect him.

HE WAS AN ANIMATED SOUNDING BOARD: Internal dialogue can be tedious. Allow a character to speculate to an animal and the rhetorical questions or monologues sound natural.

HIS PRESENCE SET A TONE: A scene tone can be set by the way a human character speaks to or interacts with an animal counterpart. A whispered warning creates a much different tone than a screaming command; a languid pet conjures up different visions than a playful ruffling of fur.

HE HELPED MOVE THE PLOT FORWARD: An animal’s needs can put a human in a place they might not have been in. For instance, in Privileged Witness, Josie took Max out for his evening constitutional and ran into her fugitive client who was hiding outside. Without Max, Josie would have no reason to go outside and never would have discovered her client. An animal’s heightened senses can also assist a human to warn of danger or alert a human to a change in their surroundings.

From The Hound of the Baskervilles to Lassie and Blue Dog, My Friend Flicka and The Black Stallion, The Cheshire Cat and Puss-in-Boots, animals have frolicked as humans, served to reflect human frailties and strengths, and just plain worked their way into reader’s hearts because of who they are.

So, to the kind lady who was concerned about Max, have no fear. He will never come to a violent end. No matter what happens to him, his presence or lack thereof, will be a decision motivated by story and plot and, of course, love, because Max is as real to me as if he sat at my feet while I wrote my stories.

*Hostile Witness is free for all e-readers and is also available in print.

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