Your Authentic YOU
March 9, 2013 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as It's Worth It, Kitty Bucholtz, Little Miss Lovesick, Moonlit Encounters, Right-Brain Business Plan, Romancing the Pages, Unexpected Superhero
Over the last few months, I’ve been getting a ton of coaching and encouragement from Jennifer Lee and all my new friends in the Right-Brain Business Plan mentorship program. We’ve learned so much, but the two things that have hit me hardest are:
- Fail fast and often if you must, but JUST DO IT
- Be your authentic self and it will lead to success
Both of them have a bit of the “scary” in the proposed action!
I am one who tends not to try something rather than risk failing at it. At least I used to be that person. Recently, I’ve jumped into some things that I had been waiting on before, waiting for when I had more time or more money or more knowledge. I started a newsletter. I made a video. I promised to teach a class this summer called “Restart” that only exists in my head so far.
But the second piece that bit me hard and won’t let go is this idea of being your authentic self. I’ve been very slowly working in that direction since I graduated from high school. I wasn’t a big fan of “me” at the time. I figured when I went away to college, no one would know who I was so I could create a new and improved “me.” I’d guess this is pretty common for young people. 🙂
I’m pretty happy with myself in general now, but I’m still a “good girl.” I mostly stick to the rules, I look for ways to help others, even at my own expense, and I try to keep a lid on the things people say they don’t want to know about.
But that isn’t completely authentic, is it? I’ve compartmentalized myself to a degree, and I don’t always like it. For one thing, it’s hard to remember what I allow myself to say when I’m with this group of people versus that group. Some of that holding back is good because I prefer not to offend my friends. 🙂 Other times, I’m not sure there is any benefit to following the crowd.
This past week I made a decision to stop trying to keep the spiritual side of myself out of my business, out of my web site, out of my social media presence. I’d been trying my best to follow the “don’t talk about religion or politics” rule in my business (writing), but it wasn’t working that well anyway. It was like telling me I can talk about any part of my body except my left foot. It’s a part of me, necessary for normal living, and great for having fun (dancing, skipping, foot massages).
I followed that rule partly because I didn’t want to offend anyone. I don’t want my friends to think I’m a Jesus freak, afraid that I might try to baptize them when they aren’t looking. Neither do I want them to think I’m just playing at being a Christian, that it’s not real to me because I use bad language sometimes, and have sex and violence in some of my books.
For the last fifteen years, I’ve not entirely fit into the romance writers world, where I’m probably seen as a bit of a prude, nor the Christian fiction market, where I’m probably seen as too worldly and a bit shocking. The answer to why my books haven’t sold to traditional publishing houses lies here. I’ve spent these years overcoming my worry that my writing is too diluted for any market. It’s true that I don’t have enough sex and steaminess for most of the popular romance lines and subgenres. And I don’t have the right storytelling mix for the Christian market either.
But there is a market for my books. I’m just calling them Kitty books now. 🙂 They are about women like me who live lives similar to mine, who worry about the things I worry about, and care about the things I care about.
On Monday, I posted to my blog that I am going to start being my real, authentic, whole self. The last part of me that has felt like it has to stay partly hidden is my spiritual side. So I’m going to stop trying to keep God out of the public side of my business life just because I don’t want to offend anyone. I know my books will offend some of my Christian friends and some of my non-Christian friends. But I’m going to be real now, more so than I’ve ever been.
I’m not a shock-jock; I won’t try to offend people just to make an impact. But I’m not going to be afraid to say, “I love Jesus! He rocks!” or “I love sex! It’s the best thing God ever made!” (Well, I might still be nervous about it, but I’m going to do it anyway if I feel like it!) I’m going to be wholly me for a change.
And like the characters in my books, “me” will definitely change and grow with time. But I think the changes and growth are going to be more wonderful than they ever could’ve been before I made this decision. I’m a little scared of what mean things people will say (because we all know that happens). I’m a little nervous that I’ll lose my nerve. But mostly I’m getting more excited every day!
The comments on my blog post are so encouraging and come from so many different kinds of people that I can’t help but want to reach out and encourage others to take a step toward being their most authentic self. If you aren’t yet the person you want to be, if you’re holding something back, consider letting go! Integrate all the parts of yourself. Be real.
Be your authentic YOU!
Kitty Bucholtz decided to combine her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher. Her first novel, Little Miss Lovesick, is now available in print and ebook format. Her next novel, Unexpected Superhero, will be released March 28, followed by Love at the Fluff and Fold this summer. Her short stories can be found in the anthologies Romancing the Pages and Moonlit Encounters, available in both print and ebook formats.
Things That Make Me Go Mmmruh…
March 7, 2013 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as Argo, Iranian Hostage Crisis, She Likes It Rough
Two weeks ago I started my own blog, Becoming GVR, and I blogged every day for a week. Then, I posted my The Next Big Thing Blog Hop interview. After a week of leaving that post up, I am back in the blogging saddle. So, what went on during that quiet week?
My number of book sales more than doubled, which is a way cool feeling! I set up my author page on Amazon. I made more connections in the world of publishing, books, and writers. I relaxed for 25 minutes in a row and finished that Father Brown episode. I commissioned the modification of my advertising bookcards and ordered 500 to be printed. I approved the initial sketches of some artwork I’ve commissioned for my website. I made sure all my ducks are in a row for the OCC book signing this weekend. I worked my other two jobs.
Something else that happened was this: one of the two movies I saw in the theatre last year, Argo, won the Oscar for best picture. I love the subtlety and understated tension of Argo as it unfolds an incredibly intense story. As I watched it, I was on the verge of tears and on the edge of my seat for the entire film.
But here’s the thing – if I chose to see only two films in the theatre last year, why Argo?
Simple. The Iranian Hostage Crisis is the first real piece of history I can remember in my lifetime. Those “Free the Hostages” stickers that looked like American flags were everywhere in my young world – on school book covers, on cars, on toilet seats. I was horrified by the duration of the terrifying ordeal – nearly one whole half of my life that I could clearly remember since infancy and toddlerhood. One of the hostages was from my hometown – he went to the same high school my nephew now attends. As a result, I think of Argo as my movie – because I have such a personal and visceral connection to it.
Argo is mine. And I doubt I am the only one who feels this way.
These feelings of connection, possession, deeply understood truth, shared history – these are precisely what I strive to evoke in readers with my books and stories. For example, this is one of my favorite lines from She Likes It Rough:
How long would it be before everyone in my family stopped judging me according to the stupid things I’d done as a kid? Wasn’t there any statute of limitations on growing up?
And by the way, the other movie I saw in the theatre last year is The Avengers, the biggest money maker of the year. Something else I strive for when I write my books.
Feel free to check out my daily blog at becomingvr.blogspot.com
GVR Corcillo
Queen of the Universe coming this Fall
SoCal RWA and OCC
March 6, 2013 by Linda O. Johnston in category Pets, Romance & Lots of Suspense by Linda O. Johnston tagged as California Dreamin' Conference, Linda O. Johnston, SoCal RWA Conference
This weekend’s OCC meeting will be a prelude to the first SoCalRWA chapters’ joint conference, California Dreamin’! As you probably know, it takes place on March 15-17 at the Doubletree Hotel in Santa Ana
I’ve belonged to two of the four participating RWA chapters forever–OCC, of course, and also the Los Angeles Romance Authors, LARA. It should really be fun to get all four chapters together so their members can extol the individual virtues of each chapter while we all do what RWA does best: encourage romance writers to write!
Unfortunately, because of some deadline issues, I may not be there for the entire conference, but I’ll attend as much as I can. I’ll definitely be there on Sunday, at least. That’s one good thing about a local conference. There’s more flexibility in attendance. And I’m really looking forward to whatever I’m able to participate in.
In any event, if you’re going, I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun.
Oh, and by the way, I’m also attending the RWA National Conference this year, too, in Atlanta
How about you–do you enjoy attending conferences?
–Linda O. Johnston
Do you feel lucky?
March 3, 2013 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as acceptance, Louisa Bacio, OCC/RWA President's Message, Submissions, writing tips
Kind of an appropriate topic with our upcoming St. Patrick’s Day. Yes, even I become a little bit Irish on this “holiday.†But, it’s true. My paternal grandmother was half-Italian and half-Irish.
In the last week, I’ve had one novella and three short stories accepted for publication, and I’m feeling quite blessed about it. Why then would I be a little bit pensive? Some nagging thought in the back of my mind – in a voice that sounds very much like a friend of mine – keeps saying, “Oh, you are so lucky. You have it so easy.â€
You see, one friend who doesn’t quite understand regularly told me that whenever we talked. And while a part of it might have something to do with luck, a whole lot more deals with hard work and determination.
First, there comes the writing. At meetings, people have repeatedly said to get your BITC – Butt In The Chair. If you don’t write, you won’t have anything to submit.
And that’s part of the next step – you must submit your work if you ever want a chance at being published. I sat on stories for years before I first ventured to sending them out, so I definitely know what I’m talking about.
Determination comes with continuing to submit, even if you’re faced with the evil rejection. It sucks. It hurts. It makes my stomach burn.
Get over it. If you’re feeling “iffy†about the piece, ask someone else to read it, fix it and then send it out again.
One of the stories accepted I waited one year and four months on. Seriously: a year and a half. Periodically, I’d check in with the editor to see its status, and she’d tell me the anthology wasn’t done yet. I moaned about it. I complained. I fretted.
This week I decided enough was enough. After asking a friend her advice, and her rolling her eyes at me because I’d probably whined way too much over the last sixteen months, I wrote directly to the publisher. Last year, they released one of my short stories as a standalone, and I suggested they might want to publish this one individually “until the anthology is done.†About thirty-six hours later, she replied that she loved it, and would send me a contract.
Was the decision to follow-up – again – easy? No way. In fact, it felt a bit pushy, and I don’t do pushy.
Sometimes, though, determination kicks in.
Four acceptances with three publishers in one week are pretty miraculous, and at this moment, I have two more outstanding. Guess what I’m doing tonight? I’m writing – working on the next one.
So tell me: Do you feel lucky?
How can we get you there?
— Louisa Bacio
OCC RWA March Online Class
February 26, 2013 by A Slice of Orange in category ArchivesOCCRWA Proudly Presents:
March 11 – April 7, 2013
Stretching, Mixing and Transforming Sentence Recipes
to Create a Memorable Story
to Create a Memorable Story
with MM Pollard
About the Class:
Every novel is a collection of related sentences that tells a story. What you say is important, of course, but how you say it may be the difference between forgettable and truly memorable.
How do you write memorable sentences with the same rules of syntax that other English writers must obey? First, you learn the basics, the ten sentence patterns that English speakers and writers follow to put words together in a way that will make sense to others. Over the course of seven lessons, MM Pollard will give you opportunities to play with the basic patterns so that you feel comfortable in using them. In other words, you’ll have homework.
Second, you stretch, mix, and transform the rules of word order to make your sentences different from others, memorable – in a good way. If poets can do it, why can’t prose writers? MM will show you in the last five lessons how to change the word order of the sentence patterns to create interesting, memorable sentences, and ultimately, a memorable story.
**Your reward for doing your homework on time: MM will edit 1,000 words of your writing.**
About the Instructor:
As an English teacher for fifteen years, and currently, as acquisitions editor for Black Velvet Seductions, MM has accepted the mission to teach others to find and correct ungrammatical grammar, misused usage, problematic punctuation, and poor writing.
Through her fun workshops – yes, English can be fun – MM has helped many writers improve their language and writing skills. She has presented workshops and online classes for many writer’s groups. She is sure she can help you, too, master the fundamentals of English composition.
Enrollment Information
This is a 4-week online course that uses email and Yahoo Groups. The class is open to anyone wishing to participate. The cost is $30.00 per person or, if you are a member of OCCRWA, $20.00 per person.
Please follow this link to join the class!
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