You know, the one that says: “Treat others as you would be treated.” And apparently there’s a Silver Rule (who knew?) that is the ‘negative’ form of the Golden Rule, that is: “do not treat people in ways that you would not care to be treated.”
It’s interesting to consider the fact that the saying: “an eye for an eye” also captures a kind of negative Golden Rule—that is: “as you have been done to, so too should you do.”
However (despite its sweetness), revenge is not an ideal way to live one’s life. It tends to start an endless cycle of retaliation—because your entirely appropriate and justified “revenge” is often seen by the revengee (?) as an act that needs to be—you guessed it—avenged! And so it goes, back & forth, escalating and unstoppable until there is no one or nothing left. Not so very sweet after all.
But there is a reverse angle view of the Rule: that if you do something, you are giving cosmic permission to have it done to you. Because by your action, you have declared it is an OK thing to do. So of course it is OK for others to do as well.
So if you, for example, cut in front of people in line, you really have no right to complain when others cut in front of you. You have set your seal of approval on the action. If you’re dishing it out, you’ve got to take it—that’s only fair.
It’s something to think about when caught in a retaliatory action. Perhaps someone says something sexist and negative about women. It’s almost automatic (if you’re a woman) to say something sexist and negative back about men. Justified, as really, they are just being given a taste of their own medicine. Surely that will offer insight and learning!
But actually by that reaction, there is an implied declaration that being sexist is an OK thing to be. The two people simply disagree as to what justifies being sexist, or racist, or whatever. But being sexist or racist or whatever is clearly OK, because both parties are actively participating in being sexist (or racist, or whatever).
Another example is if people make negative statements about “rich people.” They are, by definition, endorsing any parallel behavior that makes negative statements about “poor people.” Because they clearly indicate it’s entirely justifiable to make negative statements about “people” based on their financial status. Of course they happen to think it’s only justified when people have more Vs less money, but really the concept is fine.
I loved Susan Elizabeth Phillips’ Ain’t She Sweet, but I always wanted Sugar to say that every one’s retaliatory meanness comforted her, because her enemies had sunk to the same level, behaving in just as appalling a manner as she had. The issue was not that the behavior was bad and should not have happened—by their actions, that kind of behavior was fine. They just disagreed on what justified it.
It is not easy to quell the desire to retaliate. But if the behavior is wrong, it is wrong.
I think we’ve all laughed along with the t-shirt motto: I’m Secretly Correcting Your Grammar. And nodded because, yes, we are. We each have our own particular misuse or phrase that acts like fingernails on a blackboard. For me it’s Who/Which/That. I find myself inserting “Who” for “That” while following a conversation, or listening to a television news personality.
We can also be distracted by titles or weak plot points. Most recently I remember a title referring to the hero as soldier coming home. Lovely thoughts. Except this particular hero was a Navy SEAL, as in SAILOR. Somehow this faux pas made it past multiple editors as well as an author who has in the past shown excellent military knowledge.
Maybe we’ve become experts at catching plot anomalies such as horses changing color (or their riders shifting from in the saddle to on the ground to in the saddle without ever actually mounting or dismounting) I remember one love scene where the hero unbuttoned the heroine’s blouse then removed her dress…guess she really wanted to cover up.
Sometimes that editor doesn’t even show up when we first read or hear something that will one day bother us. I’m thinking about “Sound of Music” which I saw when it came out at the drive-in theatre (remember those?) and subsequently wore out the sound track on my record player. Sometimes while I’m gardening or working with the dogs, I’ll break out into show tunes, since there’s no one around to hear me. I was singing “(How Do You Solve a Problem Like) Maria,” trying to sing all parts myself since the dogs aren’t great at following a tune.
“She climbs a tree and scrapes her knee. Her dress has got a tear. She waltzes on the way to mass and whistles on the stair. And underneath her wimple she has curlers in her hair. I’ve even…” Wait a minute? Curlers in her hair? For a young woman from a small village who intends to be a nun? Where would she buy curlers and why would she spend her money in that fashion? For that matter, if she’s a novitiate, wearing a wimple, she’s not going to have enough hair to wear curlers. Certainly Julie Andrews wasn’t showing off flowing locks of hair in the movie.
Minor? Perhaps, in this instance. After all the movie, the music, the story all combined to enchant us to such an extent we probably wouldn’t question the curlers. I certainly didn’t until, well let’s see, Sound of Music came out in 1959 and it’s…ahem. Well, anyway…
We’d all like to hope our characters are so compelling readers will ignore minor editing issues. Except what’s minor when it comes to editing? A character who despises coffee in the first chapter and is swilling down espressos in the second half of the book, with no logical explanation for the change in taste. Although come to think of it, that is an interesting plot point. Hmmmm
Sorry for the digression, must be too much coffee. Or maybe not enough? Of course we’d rather be known for scintillating dialogue and compelling characters instead of unintended humor due to poor editing. And we really don’t want to dump a confusing mess on our editors, especially if we want to keep sending them books.
This problem has many solutions including beta readers, critique partners, and people you pay to give your book a cold read. Just be sure whoever has input on your story cares enough about you to be brutally honest when necessary. Better them than someone reading your story after publication.
Happy writing
Monica Stoner w/a Mona Karel
http://mona-karel.com/
My most recent cover with Caitlin |
I’m a Cosmo Cover Girl!!
Well, not really, but I feel like one. The glam cover shoot, the publicity, the magazine ads, and the video:
I love this video — I especially love the Cosmo model with the glasses. Did you see her? When I saw her I said, “That’s my Pepper!!” (She reminds me of my heroine in NAKED SUSHI–she appears about 20 seconds into the video.) She’s a fun, fearless female as befits the Cosmo brand touted in their magazine.
I may not be a Cosmo Cover Girl, but I am a Fun, Fearless Female.
I never would have gotten this far if I wasn’t.
How ’bout you? Are you a fun, fearless female?
—————
NAKED SUSHI (from Harlequin.com RED-HOT READS Page
A Delicious Mistake
One day I’m getting canned from my job as a computer programmer for having wild copy-room sex with a guy I thought was the new game designer. The next, I’m crashing my ex-boss’s business lunch in a creative attempt to get my job back and men are eating sushi off my naked body!
That’s when I realize a) My ex-boss is a hiding corporate secrets b) Hot copy-room guy is an undercover FBI agent c) I would make a kick-ass spy!
Then Special Agent Hottie brings out his cuffs, and things get really interesting…
Copyright © 2013 by Harlequin Enterprises Limited
Cover copy text used by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises Limited.
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