Well, I have a theory that every one’s greatest asset is also, conversely, their greatest liability. Think about it—it’s just the flip side of the same coin. The dark side. Too much of a good thing.
It’s one of the reasons we can’t get rid of our weakness—because they are part of what is best about us.
You are thinking, no, actually, that’s not true. But that’s just because you haven’t really thought about it. So pause for a minute and work with me here.
What do you think is one of your best qualities? Something that you are simply better at than most people around. It isn’t necessarily anything specific (your great tennis backhand, for example) but something more broad. An ability, a power. I think that like a Pokémon character, we all have both specific abilities and also hidden abilities. And that as we mature, we go through many steps to accomplish cycles and become (hopefully) better defended, more powerful, with greater capacity to succeed.
So in terms of your abilities, or hidden abilities, (for example) perhaps you are remarkably bright and have an analytical and mathematical mind and are gifted with the ability to assess numerous data points and crunch remarkable amounts of information?
Maybe you have an intense desire to find the best answer, to be great—not just good, to succeed at the highest level, never settle?
Or you are a “doer,” action-oriented, goal-focused, get it done and plow through all obstacles?
Possibly your strength is in the ability to intuit others’ perspectives and you can access ways to interpret and inspire others, creating paths of communication and understanding between different personalities, businesses, perspectives, cultures.
But for each of those remarkable gift, there is a challenge, a weakness, a dark side.
For the analytically gifted who offer a deep understanding of issues in all their complexity, sifting all the information in the universe can be very time consuming. It is sometimes hard to stop analyzing, make a determination and move forward. There is always more to assess. There are always downsides and risks to be considered. Finding why you can’t do something can sometimes overwhelm the goal of figuring out how you can.
The aspirational vision of the perfectionist demands a higher level of performance, often inspiring step-out accomplishments, demonstrating we can successfully stretch beyond our assumed limits. But it too can be time consuming, demanding, never satisfied, and that can burn people out and create a sense of ongoing failure in always reaching for the next step, crushing excitement and delight.
A “doer” (often 180 degrees from an analyzer) creates powerful energy with their goal focus and ‘can-do’ attitude. But doers can forget to listen, can overwhelm sometimes valid concerns and objections, and can lose the support and buy-in of the team, becoming a dictator rather than a leader.
Intuition can cause those with the gift of that special knowledge to intermediate themselves overmuch between conflicted parties, and be overwhelmed in working to find a common ground. In trying to please all, they may please none—and be resented for their efforts.
So your greatest asset can also be your greatest liability.
But remember, too, that your greatest weakness also can also be a powerful strength!
Oblivious and inconsiderate? You may cheerfully march to your own drum and break new ground for those limited by their fear of what others will think.
Outspoken and obnoxious? You could be a lighting rod, articulating issues others are afraid to voice—and you will have the strength to brush off the criticism and the challenging headwinds you may face.
Quiet and withdrawn? You may see more than others, gain insights, see patterns, and find better pathways to a solution than the loud speakers.
Finding the balance—which is constantly shifting in response to the context—it the challenge and the key.
I don’t know how to surf, but that is my visual and my metaphor.
Yesterday’s meeting was informative and lots of fun. I missed Melissa Cutler’s morning workshop on “Making Grammar \work for your Voice” to attend PAW, but heard good things about it afterwards.
The hot, lazy days of summer heated up last month when Harlequin editors, Gail Chasan and Malle Vallik came to speak at our August OCC meeting.
I was especially thrilled to see Malle Vallik. I’ll never forget the excitement racing through me when I found out that Malle wanted my NAKED SUSHI novella for the new Cosmo Red-Hot Read line from Harlequin. Not only did the Harlequin team have to approve each manuscript, but also the team from Cosmopolitan. This was a story I loved because I used my own experiences producing video podcasts as well as working for a computer magazine and a video game company to create her character.
A selfie of Malle and me — somehow the OCC Chapter sign got reversed when I put it up on Instagram.
In Naked Sushi, Pepper O’Malley is a tech-head but under that flannel shirt, she’s just itchin’ to find the right guy and fall in love. And she wants to be a spy:
Here’s the cover copy:
One day I’m getting canned from my job as a computer programmer for having wild copy-room sex with a guy I thought was the new game designer. The next, I’m crashing my ex-boss’s business lunch in a creative attempt to get my job back and men are eating sushi off my naked body!
——————
Here’s a fun Instagram video I made with the opening lines from Naked Sushi:
Coming in October 2013 from Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Harlequin:
Copyright © 2013 by Harlequin Enterprises Limited
Cover copy text used by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises Limited.
Permission to reproduce text granted by Harlequin Books S.A. Cover art used by arrangement with Harlequin Enterprises Limited. All rights reserved.
Music:
I just arrived home yesterday from over a month on the road. I’m exhausted, but it’s been a good few weeks. I started at the Romance Novel Convention in Las Vegas. Lots of great opportunities there, but not as much foot traffic as I expected.
Then I flew to Michigan for several events. I did a book signing at a charity event, ROCK for CHUM, raising funds for my sister’s charity. (She does therapeutic riding and hippotherapy, really amazing stuff!) Then I ran a charity half marathon, RUN for CHUM, and had to be available to sign books after. Um, note to self, don’t plan to run 13.1 miles and try to have your head together for selling and signing books afterward.
A few days later, it got really exciting – I was interviewed live on a radio morning show! That was so fun! The radio DJ made it easy to sound like I’d done this a hundred times before. As soon as I get the recording, I’ll post it on my web site.
I spent the rest of the day getting in touch with my old high school (they took a picture of me with my book to put on their web site), stopping by my college library and the two local libraries in my hometown area (one had already bought all my books!), and doing some research for upcoming books.
The next day, I signed books in the morning at Top Comics, and in the afternoon at Horizon Books. Both stores hold a spot in my heart – the former is co-owned by a long-time friend, the latter is the first bookstore I remember ever going to as a kid. I felt on top of the world all day!
Plus, after several years of on and off searching, I found my sixth grade teacher to whom I dedicated Little Miss Lovesick. The newspaper took pictures of us meeting again for the first time in over 30 years and interviewed us. Then I presented the book to her at the beginning of the signing. Friends and flowers and lots of laughter made the day more special than I have words to express.
When I list it all here, it sounds like a lot of work – and it was! I didn’t have much free time. But when you can get your heart connected with your promotion, it gives you an energy boost. And it makes you feel like a million bucks!
Maybe you have some new ideas about what you can do to get your heart involved in your promotion. Good luck!
Kitty Bucholtz decided to combine her undergraduate degree in business, her years of experience in accounting and finance, and her graduate degree in creative writing to become a writer-turned-independent-publisher. Her first novel, Little Miss Lovesick, came out in 2011. Her new novel, Unexpected Superhero, book one in The Adventures of Lewis & Clarke humorous urban fantasy series, is now available in print and ebook format. Love at the Fluff and Fold, book one in The Strays of Loon Lake romantic comedy series, will be released later this year. Her short stories can be found in the anthologies Romancing the Pages and Moonlit Encounters, available in both print and ebook formats.
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