by diane sismour
tonight wasn’t to end this way.
i imagined her saying, no.
to turn away a life together, but she hadn’t.
we celebrate with champagne; the bubbles make her happy.
light as air, she calls her soul, springing to the music.
her red dress flares as a tulip, cupping her body.
tonight wasn’t to end this way.
skinny dipping in the neighbor’s hot tub. snowflakes melting
above us, her skin glistening whiter than the crystals,
shimmering in the streetlight at my touch.
tonight wasn’t to end this way.
her skin soft next to mine, paler than the moon waning above.
her soft snores vibrate my heart as a violin stroked gently.
tonight wasn’t to end this way.
singing a melody meant for our child. a hand on her still small belly, her scent a blend of ocean and oils smoothed over her limbs warm and tan.
tonight wasn’t to end this way
her robe covers translucent skin, stretched and thin. stomach
bulging, tight and still. no kicks, no movement, monitors
peeping, wires attached to places I kissed this morning.
tonight wasn’t to end this way
if only she had said, no, to hear me say goodbye.
I’m at the airport flying home from the Faith, Hope, Love Writers Conference in Phoenix, Arizona and I’m just over the moon with how much I enjoyed attending this event. And why I’m shouting from the rooftops that attending a writer’s conference is a good idea.
I believe there are seasons in our writing journey. There are also many different types of writers conferences. So it’s important to discern which ones are the right ones to attend by looking at cost vs what you need to get out of a conference. For me, there were several reasons this was the right conference at this time.
First, this writing group is the most aligned with my genre and industry. I’ve been a part of the FHL writing community for over ten years. We are an online group, and so the idea of meeting my people in person was very appealing. This included a member from my critique group. We have been emailing each other for two years weekly, so getting a chance to interact in person was so much fun. Not only do we know each other’s writing very well, and could give encouragement with the pitches we made and throughout the sessions (“this is a great thing to apply to your book!”), we both felt we had a writing buddy to hang out with during the conference.
I also know several other writers attending from other memberships, and it was so much fun to see them again and give them a hug. I actually had someone at this conference from all the different writing groups I belong to, so that was a lot of fun.
Writing can be a very isolating experience and being able to interact with other writers who struggle with the same feelings as I do was very refreshing.
After taking a few months off of writing, I was really unsure about my writing future. I hoped that a focused weekend away from the distractions of home would help me discern my next steps. And I wasn’t wrong. Within the first few moments of registration I was in a conversation with another attendee and after hearing their story, I felt encouraged. And throughout the entire weekend it was the same story over and over again.
Being inspired with new techniques. Besides fellowship, the craft sessions are helpful in learning additional tips and tools for your everyday learning and hearing updates related to the industry from publishers.
I am at this stage of my writing career. Challenging myself to pitch in order to gain experience, glean feedback, and possibily move to the next step is crucial. I received some good feedback that helps me know my next steps. This information was invaluable for me as I make a gameplan for the rest of the year.
My home is full of laughter and fun busyness. It’s also difficult to carve out a quiet space to focus and hear God’s direction in my writing life. This weekend gave me the space I needed to be encouraged. I received ideas of next steps, and flushed out a game plan. I’m so excited to know what I’m working on next and with new goals to work towards.
Now the real work begins. But that’s okay. I have a new quote I’m using right now to help me. My word this year is change. I recently read this quote and a light bulb went off in my brain. It’s perfect for what I’m trying to do. These next steps in writing will be challenging. But after this conference I feel ready to embrace the challenge knowing it needs to be this way if I’m going to move on to the next level.
If you haven’t attended a conference, consider finding one in your area to participate in. Look at what the genre’s are, the speakers and the topics being presented. Do they interest you? Will there be industry professionals and others there who you can learn from? Then take a leap and have a great time!
Denise Colby loves to write about her word of the year and share quotes that include that specific word in them. Each word builds a new layer in her writing journey (and her life). In 2022, her word was Work. This year, her word is change.
When I was a little girl, I loved sitting at the feet of my grandmum coloring in my ballet books while she twisted tiny pieces of wire and blue or green beads into rosaries and spun tales about Ireland. How my English great-grandmum, a grand lady, ran away from her overbearng, stuffy father to marry her Irish rogue.
I used to pretend she became a ballet dancer like the drawings I colored in Degas pastels.
She didn’t.
But I spent hours coloring and cutting out the dancers. I discovered I had an artistic bent like my grandpop but I also loved telling stories like my grandmum. So at times in my life, I used my artistic talents to get the job done; other times, I wrote stories.
Both require intense concentration as well as precious time. (I swear there’s a watch that can stop time with its golden hands, but I haven’t found it on Amazon). And sometimes you have to make a choice.
Which brings me to my current dilemma.
I had an intense year writing SISTERS AT WAR with ‘life’ getting in the way numerous times as well as reliving diffucult past experiences to capture the emotions of the story. Then the book came out and I loved making the pretty graphics, the videos, the everything you get to do that’s artsy and fun…
But here’s the rub.
Readers are waiting for the sequel called SISTERS OF THE RESISTANCE… some want to read it now.
Oh, my, I’m still writing the sequel.
Which means I need to take a deep dive and put away my coloring book and crayons. Write, write, write. I know where the story is going, new characters to add to the tension between the Beaufort Sisters in my story, a life-altering experience for Eve and a heartbreak for Justine, but there are no shortcuts on this journey. Writing about WW2 requires maddening research as well as intense, emotional dialogue.
So, mes amis, I have pull back for a while on social media while I finish writing Sisters of the Resistance.
I’ll be here once a month, but not so much on other venues.
Alas, I’m going to close now. I’ve got research to do and a chapter to write tonight. I hope you enjoy my short video about what’s going on with Sisters At War.
See you soon.
Jina
Who are the Beaufort Sisters?
They’re beautiful
They’re smart
They’re dangerous
They’re at war with the Nazis… and each other.
This year has been <insert adjective here> for me! Which adjective to insert seems to depend upon both the hormones, or lack thereof, coursing through my body and how I’m managing my mindset during this phase of life. Some of the things I’ve said about the year include horrible, difficult, super tough, disastrous, a waste — all variations of “hard” but with a lot more emphasis and/or emotion coming through with some of them.
However, some of the other adjectives I’ve occasionally inserted have included a learning experience, eye-opening, difficult but with lessons I want to share with others. (Okay, not simple adjectives, but you get the picture.)
I’ve gone from being seriously pissed off at everyone, hating life, wishing it all away, and being seriously depressed to getting some hormone replacement therapy (HRT) patches and finding my real self again! (I feel between 90% and 99.9% better most days.) I think my husband wants to give my doctor a Christmas present this year! Haha! Life was tough on him, too.
Now, I was raised in a time and place when women’s health, particularly reproductive health, was never discussed “in polite company,” meaning only to a doctor in the most dire cases. My mother didn’t say much more than she had to, and although as a teenager I knew all the angst was caused by hormones and it would eventually even out and go away, no one told me I’d have to go through it all over again!!
Even though I spent the first 50 years of my life allowing myself to be too embarrassed to ask any more questions than necessary, the next few years got increasingly difficult and confusing and I needed help. I finally talked about some of it to a friend, and then starting Googling anything I could find on this transition. The results were dismal, mostly articles by white, middle-aged, male, American doctors saying, yup, these are the symptoms but there’s nothing you can do about except wait it out, and don’t worry, it’ll go away in five to ten years. This is where I remember my always-near-the-surface rage hitting new heights.
When I spoke to a writers group a few months ago on a writing topic, but happened to mention the effects of peri menopause on my writing, I found that most of the comments in the chat were variations of “Thank you so much for talking about menopause!”
Shocker! Shocking enough for me to choose to get over being embarrassed!!
So here I am, along with a few friends, talking about menopause and hormones and all the crap that goes along with it…but also all the things we’re trying and what we’re each finding makes a positive difference. We’re recording our conversations and putting them on my YouTube channel. Here’s the first one. Please let me know in the comments here or, preferably, on YouTube if this is helpful and what else you want to talk about. Right now the calls are being recorded at 6:30am ET, 12:30pm CET, and 9:30 or 10:30pm in Sydney depending on when you read this and whether everyone has gone through the Daylight Savings Time changes. If you want to be on one of the live calls, let me know. We might be able to change the time at least sometimes. Meanwhile, I hope it helps and encourages you and the people around you. We’re not alone! 🙂
About Jina Bacarr
I discovered early on that I inherited the gift of the gab from my large Irish family when I penned a story about a princess who ran away to Paris with her pet turtle Lulu. I was twelve.
I grew up listening to their wild, outlandish tales and it was those early years of storytelling that led to my love of history and traveling.
I enjoy writing to classical music with a hot cup of java by my side. I adore dark chocolate truffles, vintage anything, the smell of bread baking and rainy days in museums. I’ve always loved walking through history—from Pompeii to Verdun to Old Paris. The voices of the past speak to me through carriages with cracked leather seats, stiff ivory-colored crinolines, and worn satin slippers. I’ve always wondered what it was like to walk in those slippers when they were new.
You can follow Jina on social media:
Facebook
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Jina also has a column here on the 11th of every month: Jina’s Book Chat.
A Few of Jina’s Other Books
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Carrie Kennersly tries to help her veterinarian boyfriend when he’s under suspicion of murder...Is he a keeper, or should she let him go off-leash for good?
More info →This book belongs on every fiction writer's bookshelf.
More info →A Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
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