Copy line on movie ad (no, I can’t remember the title) with armed woman: Wife. Mother. Hero.
Why is a women defined by her relation to others? Would any man be described as Husband. Father. Hero.? I don’t think so. More like: Explorer. Visionary. Hero.
It’s all about what he does, who he is. Hers is about who she is connected to. That’s why women traditionally have an honorific that links them to their male partner: Mrs. Or lack of partner: Miss. Vs men, who are just Mr. Their status as a partner is deemed irrelevant.
For instance: a man does not need to be reminded to put his oxygen mask on first. His default is to think of himself first, others later. And he expects others to think the same way—to first take care of themselves, then perhaps consider others. That may be why he doesn’t thank you (you female person) for your selfless act. He thinks you’re crazy. Or stupid. Or both. Or maybe just trying to ingratiate yourself with him, as he tends to think hierarchically, so sees favors in a transactional manner. Not that a man isn’t capable of a selfless act, it’s just an unlikely part of his daily routine.
Women often think of others first, themselves last. For many that’s their default (yes, even if they’re not mothers). And they expect others to think the same way. And of course they (female people) take it personally (perhaps with a long-suffering sigh) when they discover there’s no parity, and they’re not very high on anyone else’s list. Perhaps even more irritatingly, they may be thought of as being an idiot for taking care of others and not bothering to take care of themselves.
Each sex is ‘modeling’ behavior that the other guy just isn’t picking up. Neither is exactly right, but not entirely wrong, either. And it doesn’t align.
Men tend to see things hierarchically, competitively, with winners and losers, while women tend to be more collegial and consensus driven, focusing on making something work. (Hey, my title promised “Some sweeping generalizations and celebrating stereotypes,” don’t say I don’t deliver!). Deborah Tannen’s Talking 9 to 5 offers some great stories of how these different basic assumptions can create miscommunication, misunderstanding and problems.
In many cultures, women traditionally have had little to no direct power and have had to work with indirect power: influence, relationships, connections, being liked, finding people to partner with. For a woman, helping others, doing favors, etc. is often a way of establishing friendship and usually inspires thanks, gratitude and likely a return favor in response—if the recipient is a woman.
But if the recipient is man, he may well see the gift as an effort to curry favor, confirming his status as the superior: the one to whom gifts and honor are due. Thanks are not necessary and no return gift would ever be given, as that would mean Giver and Givee were on the same level, which is not an acceptable idea when a hierarchy has just been established to Givee’s satisfaction!
Women may view support as a circular, mutually beneficial experience. For men, it is likely more linear, a bottom up effort to propitiate and curry favor of the leaders—who may then have an obligation to protect their underlings. Like a feudal lord getting his due from his dependents, he will have to try to stave off the barbarian hordes if they show up, or build a walled city to protect them, but he’s not partners with his serfs.
You can see how misunderstandings and disappointments might abound!
And why romance writers and romance readers are a necessary ingredient in our lives….
synonyms:
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Please stop by next month.
Fall Release: BWL, Ltd. |
Novella, BWL, Ltd., current release |
(You can read my previous posts about my experience with the Kindle Scout program by clicking on Part 1 , Part 2 and Part 3.)
Glass slippers don’t last forever…
But Kindle e-Books do.
So when Cindy discovered her treasured glass slippers had a crack in them…ow! It was time to get a new pair.
And that’s what’s been happening in publishing. It’s time to embrace new and different ways of getting our books to readers. That’s where the Kindle Scout program fills the gap. As I’ve discussed in previous posts, it’s been an amazing journey for me since I started my campaign with LOVE ME FOREVER, my Civil War time travel romance.
Last week I danced in my slippers when LOVE ME FOREVER went on sale.
Amazon sent me an email with the screenshots, showing LOVE ME FOREVER PR. My book was in the first slot on page one.
I’ve been blogging, too. Check out my posts on www.jinabacarr.wordpress.com
Facebook Launch Party
The Kindle Scout Authors did a 3-hour Facebook party. It was amazing…you can read all the comments and see what happened here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1755873821306210
Time travel is my favorite genre, so I was thrilled to hit the Kindle e–Books>Romance>Time Travel Top 100 list several times. Here’s a graphic I made:
But most gratifying to me are the reviews:
“This is one of the best time travel historical novels I have ever read. I was hooked from page one. The descriptive scenes of the Civil War battles are so realistic that you find yourself imagining you are actually on the battlefield. I highly recommend this book.”
“Gripped me from the first page and wouldn’t let go until I finished the book HOURS later.”
“Rich in history and social issues, Love Me Forever is both deep and emotionally compelling. Another fine read from a Kindle Scout winner.”
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What’s next for me? I’m writing the sequel to LOVE ME FOREVER, “Love Me Always,” where we meet up with the offspring of the one of the heroines and send her off on her own time traveling adventure!
Thanks for coming along with me on my journey.
~Jina
Website: www.jinabacarr.com
Blog: www.jinabacarr.wordpress.com
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I’ve been going to the RWA National Conferences frequently for quite a few years now. They always seem fun and informative. These days, there is so much to learn about changes in how to publish as well as the entire publishing industry. The largest traditional publishers keep merging. Smaller publishers appear frequently and some are quite successful.
Then there’s the whole nearly-new world of successful self-publishing. Plus, the term “hybrid” was used a lot at the conference, meaning it’s good and potentially helpful for an ongoing career for a writer to both traditionally publish and self publish.
So, I attended workshops and panels, including my own panel with other mystery authors who also write romance, about how our careers pre-writing helped us with our writing as well. I saw my agent and my Harlequin editor. I went to the Meet-and-Greets for the two Harlequin series I write for and learned about what was going on. And I of course attended the always delightful Harlequin party.
I wound up staying in an overflow hotel rather than the main conference hotel, and the one I was in was horrible, unfortunately. It was being remodeled. My room was dark at night with inadequate lights. Cleaning was iffy. But at least it was near the conference hotel.
Next year RWA National will be in our backyard: San Diego. Will I attend?
Sure!
I already hear you saying, that’s a long title for a blog post. I agree, but it’s the truth. A while back I shared how I came to be an Indie Writer and promised to talk about the book that sort of kick-started my writing career. Because the story is a little long and filled with more twists than a rollercoaster, I thought I’d share it over the course of my next few posts or until the book is launched…whichever comes first. God, I hope the book is published before this series of posts becomes as long as a novella.
I’m almost afraid to tell you when I wrote my first book, or as it will from hence on be referred to as Alex One. I started writing Alex One in 2005. Yes…yes…yes…I hear all you judging me, and I don’t care. I’ve already beat myself up several times.
Anyway, I remember I was watching a chick flick…which I love…don’t hate. As I was saying. I thought to myself, I should do that, write a book about people that reflect me…women who love, God, Fashion and Cute Guys [thus the tagline for my writing career]. Let me back up; when I was in college, I did a semester of screenwriting and even wrote a couple of “bad†scripts. I even tried my hand at a few “bad†short stories. Looking back, I wonder if I should have taken some creative writing courses. Probably, but at the time, that’s not what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a sports reporter. I had my own sports segment that aired once a week on campus television and local cable, and I was an intern in at the local Tulsa NBC Affiliate in the Sports Department. I was on my way…nowhere. I couldn’t get hired anywhere after graduation. But I digress.
Back to writing. So no, it never occurred to me to take creative writing courses. Fast forward and I move back home and go to work for a public relations company and then a record company. I figured I’d work my way up the ranks to a high-level executive position. I came close. While at the record company, I went from working in the temp pool to assistant for the General Manager. When he was promoted, so was I. Now I was Executive Assistant to the President and CEO. I was on the fast track. I had the whole package, travel, a great office, an assistant, a very good salary and long hours. All this and with the company less than three years. Then I was promoted to Director of New York Operations. I relocated to New York and remained there for almost two years, then I was downsized and out of work.
Bear with me, this all does tie into my writing career. Remember I told you this is a post in parts.
When I was “Laid Off,†I took a little time off before starting my own business. I’ll skip over that history. I hear you saying, “Thank You†and you’re welcome.
The thought of writing was always deep in the back of my mind. I had even attempted to write long before 2005, picking it up every now and again. I think what nudged me, was my computer. In down times at my store, I would tinker with writing. However, when my old computer died, and my parents gifted me with a new one, I got the urge to try writing again. I had visions of writing an amazing book, signing a huge contract and going on book tours. I’d hire reliable staff to work in my store, and the book money would just be gravy. The fantasy got bigger when I got a laptop; now I could write anywhere.
As I got closer to the end of writing Alex One, I had an epiphany. I needed income for my business and thought, I’d sell the book and use the money for my business. That’s where the story turns. I didn’t have a clue as to how the publishing industry worked and all I knew about Indie Writers is that’s what you did when no one thought your book was good enough to buy.
Up until this point, I hadn’t told anyone I was writing or had written a book.
To test my skills, I conveyed what I now know is called a “Beta group†of friends and one stranger, to read Alex One. This group ripped through my book with a fine tooth red comb. They found things wrong, I didn’t even realize. A crucial error was a pregnancy. I had the character get pregnant and deliver in three months…MAJOR ERROR! Then they said one of the men sounded too feminine. Oh man, this was so not the reaction I was expecting, but needed.
I have a friend who is a popular Christian Fiction writer; we met via the internet [we’ll keep that story for a later post] and she suggested I write an ebook. I didn’t want to do that. I had visions of going into book stores and seeing my books on the shelves, not on the internet. I fought that until I finally decided to submit to her epublisher. Once I finally acquiesced, it was too late. They were no longer taking submissions.
The night before meeting with the Harlequin editor, I attended a late night workshop she hosted, where she gave a list of what Harlequin was looking for. She also gave a list of what they didn’t want. By the end of the session, I knew me meeting with her was going to be a waste of my time, but I still went. I needed to keep my word. I handed her my summary and like I thought, no. My book was a little too out there. See at the time (maybe they’ve changed their policy for their Christian line) it wasn’t customary for the hero and heroine to be divorced. Strike One. My heroine is divorced. The characters can’t mention how attracted they are towards each other (i.e. no comments about how hot she thinks he is and vise versa). Strike Two. And definitely no hot kisses. Strike Three.
On to my meeting with the agent. I made my pitch, and she said I can write about God or Sex, but not both. With that said, she said she liked my concept and to send it to her. I was over the moon. I went back to my room and called my mom. We were excited someone that didn’t know me wanted my book. A month later, a gut punch. The agent said it wasn’t a romance. I knew that. In fact, I never said it was a romance, but women’s fiction with romantic elements. At the time, that’s how I referred to Alex One, women’s fiction with romantic elements. I sulked for a little while before hitting the internet in search of an agent that understood my style.
I went to ACFW the following year with a tweaked book, still hoping to secure an agent. There were two agents I wanted to talk to. One was completely booked, however, at lunch you had an opportunity to eat with an agent. I rushed inside the crowded banquet room and grabbed a sit at my dream agent’s table. She went around the table and asked us all for our one line pitch. I gave mine and no reaction. Crap! All this time, I’d been following her blog, even occasionally emailing her and nothing. No problem. I ran into the other agent of choice in the restroom and thanked her for being honest in her rejection. She turned me down because her roster was too full. I told her I appreciated her honesty and went on to my other meeting which was a bust. I left the conference without a request. However, I shared a ride to the airport with the editor of a magazine I’d written a short story for a few months earlier and after some small talk, she asked me to submit another story, which I did. I was an official writer with two published short stories.
What does all of this have to do with Alex One? I was a little discouraged, but I kept writing. I say Alex One is the sweetest book I’ve written, that was before I started reading a lot more and the birth of my first published book, GENERATIONAL CURSE.
I’ve told the story about the agent I had and how we came to part ways. By the way, the agent I ran into in the restroom, is the agent that later became my agent. While I was waiting for her to shop Alex One, I wrote the sequel, let’s call it Alex Two. Alex Two would make the editor at Harlequin’s eyes pop out of their sockets. For that matter, the way Alex One was changed would probably make her pull her hair out. I broke every rule they have for their Christian line.
Finally to the title of this post series.
When I wrote Alex One, I wrote it based on what I had been reading at the time …sweet but edgy Christian Fiction …what I thought the Christian Fiction market would like. However, when I went back and reread the series [currently there are three books in this series], the characters sounded a little young, naive and not real. To me, they lacked life. I got my red pen and post-its and went crazy. Then I joined OCC and learned how important it is to read any and everything. I was told by someone not associated with RWA that wasn’t a good thing to do because it could influence what you’re writing, or you might subconsciously commit plagiary. However, I learned at OCC what you read inspires what you write, at least it does for me.
So here’s the first thing that happened.
As I said, there are three books in this series. Let me back up. When the agent and I parted ways, I didn’t know what to do. I felt I had written what God inspired me to write. However, agents didn’t seem to agree with me. I can’t remember how it happened, but Laura Drake suggested I take Debra Holland’s Self-Publishing class. She said, “Debra writes non-traditional and is self-published. You should talk to her. In fact, she’s going to be teaching a class, you should take it.†So I did.
After the first class, my eyes were opened. When Debra gave a list of questions and situations for us to ask ourselves to determine if indie publishing was for us, I had my answer. I needed to self-publish.
The other reason I liked the idea of self-publishing is, I liked my title and knew traditional publishing wouldn’t like my title or the concept of the story. The Alex books are told in multiple POV. I hear you now . . .too confusing. Not to me, but to be sure, I RESEARCHED and found books written this way and it worked. Okay, so I wasn’t weird, and my story is good. The reason I was getting rejected by traditional publishing was the God and Sex themes.
I was on my way. I was joining the ranks of the Self-Published or Indie Writers. I was no longer beholden to the system. I could tell the kinds of stories I wanted. All good things. Now for the overwhelming things. Everything was my responsibility. I had to decide if I wanted to do ebooks or print or both. I wanted to do both. I was pulling my hair out. My mother/cheerleader suggested I not release Alex One first, but go with Generational Curse. I wrestled with this for a while. If you’ve read that book, it starts out very steamy, unlike the Alex books. I thought I should launch my writing career a little tamer. It’s sort of like that go big or go home saying. I went big.
I knew how I wanted the cover to look. In fact I found an amazing image; however, it was going to cost me $2,000 . . .not in the budget. I searched for a very long time for the right image. [see images A and B], until I found something I could work with. Looking for a cover, I decided to broaden my horizon and not just look at African American images, but at anything that fit the tone of my story. I finally decided to go with something more sophisticated and not overtly sexy.
What I also discovered in searching for an image, there are very few black/African American images that weren’t duplicated. I wanted something that had a little sass but didn’t look like every other black/African American cover. I knew my character was honey colored, so I got an image from Masterfile and with help from Photoshop I got what I wanted.
So what does this have to do with Alex One you ask? Everything. When I originally wrote the Alex series, I had a certain vision; however, it changed. Remember I wrote book one in 2005. Then about a year later I wrote book two. By the time I got to book two, I knew the agent and I were probably not going to see eye to eye . . .book two was very hot. That’s why I was fine with us parting ways.
I have revised Alex One so much, it barely resembles the draft I sent out to agents. Here’s what happened. While I was looking for GENERATIONAL CURSE images, I sent revised Alex One to my editor. She made her notes, and I cleaned it up. I can’t remember what happened, but I put Alex One to the side and concentrated on GENERATIONAL CURSE or Kyla as I call her. I dedicated my time to my fourth born. After I released her, I went back to Alex One and reread her and felt she needed a little more tweaking. Keep in mind, I had already sent this to my editor. I even had a cover [see image C].
I liked this cover. However, when I went back and started preparing Alex One for release, I discovered, I didn’t like the cover. I felt it gave people the impression the story was about a man and his friends. The Alex series is about Alexandra Miller and her four best friends. And my cover no longer worked with the story. What’s ever worse, I had this image on my website and on GoodReads as a future release.
Now on top of doing a rewrite, I was looking for a new cover. Again I wanted something a little more sophisticated but didn’t show a face. I didn’t want the readers trying to figure out which of the characters was on the cover.
About this time Bonnie Bliss and I were talking about covers for our Fling Box Set books, and she suggested I try shutterstock.com. Oh my God, after a few visits to the site I found something I thought might work. I did a test and ta da, I had a new cover to match the new story. So here’s a little peak at Alex One all grown up [Images D and E]. I freakin’ love my new cover. I also love Alex Two’s cover, but I can’t show you that one yet. Alex One’s new look is sophisticated, and it matches the revised story.
Thanks for being patient with me on this post, but there’s one last thing.
When I started the revisions or, let’s be real, the rewrite on Alex One, the first six chapters weren’t working for me. I did one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do to my baby; I deleted them. It was hard, but it was the right thing to do. When I did that, it gave the story new life and really allowed more of the character’s personalities to shine.
I liked those chapters, but they just didn’t work with the book. I told my friend Kitty Bucholtz about my book amputation, and she suggested I turn them into a novella. Ding …Ding…Ding …what a brilliant idea. Then we started talking about marketing tools and free books. Ding …Ding…Ding …another idea was born. I’d do what Kitty suggested and turn those deleted chapters into a free novella. Only problem, they weren’t quite novella length. Fret not, with a little tweaking, they’ve become a novelette.
This “Prequel,†makes use of deleted chapters, plus it gives me time to get Alex One ready, and it’s great way to get to drum up interest in Alex One. So here’s a sneak peak at my next title …The Alex Chronicles: Girlfriends & Secrets.
If I didn’t bore you, stop by next month for Part Two.
Tracy Reed
www.readtracyreed.com
Fiction for Women Who Love God, Couture and Cute Guys
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More info →A Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
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