For the last few years, instead of making New Year’s resolutions, my friends, authors Caraway Carter, Jeri Bronson and Ellen Kosuda have picked a word to inspire us for the year. A word to help us reach reach goals. A word to hopefully make us better people. In 2020 my word was Focus. It turned out to be a really good word for me, especially during a year of isolation and chaos. I focused on two things. My writing and my health. I released four romcoms last year, and I lost 86 lbs. that I desperately needed to lose.
I had a hard time picking a word for 2021, and it wasn’t until late on New Year’s Eve that I finally realized what my word should be. FEARLESS. My word for 2021 is Fearless.
There are people who think I’m already fearless, but the truth is, I tend to work out of fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of failing…fear, fear, fear.
So here it is March, and already I’ve found this a challenging word. Which probably means it’s the right word for me. Two weeks into the New Year I was seriously doubting whether I should be writing at all. Whether I should just walk away, enjoy the freedom I have now that my kids are home, and I’m not working. Cook, keep house and sew for grandbabies.
But that word kept popping up, and I’d push myself a little more…and a little more, until I’d pushed myself through that crisis of confidence.
The most fearless thing I’ve done this year, is to stay alone in our little house in Arizona, that’s in the middle of nowhere. Okay, not really in the middle of nowhere, but it kind of feels like it. I’ve never been alone before. Even when Hunky Hubby had to work out of town, I always had kids with me. And HH and I don’t like to be separated. But, I thought that time alone would free me up to get more work done. I was right. And while I missed Hunky Hubby, I really enjoyed those two weeks of freedom and I won’t be afraid to do it again.
And this week I conquered another fear. I submitted a romcom to a publisher, and I’ll be waiting anxiously for their response. I realized if they don’t accept it, I can publish it myself. I CAN DO IT MYSELF!!
Now on to my biggest writing fear. I have to finish Fascinator. Fascinator is my full 1920’s women’s fiction novel that I’ve been working on (or not) for several years. A friend told me a few years ago that I was the only one she knew who used writing to procrastinate on my writing. And that’s probably true. To a great degree, writing my romcoms, which are fun and light have been a way to procrastinate on my more serious novel, which for me is a test of whether I can really write.
So, time to pull on my big girl panties and woman up. I’ve got this. I’m FEARLESS. Oh, and my word for 2022 came to me this week. But I’ll share that later.
Do you ever feel like hold yourself back? What areas do you need to be more fearless? Or are you already fearless? Share your stories, I could use some inspiration!
So many people in the past year have been fear-full. How wonderful that you made a clear choice to move forward fear-less. I believe in you, Tari. You’ve got this!!!
Thank you Chris! I wish I could say that it’s easy to be fearless, but of course it’s not. However, I’m lucky to have the support of my family and amazing friends, including of course you. We’re all stronger together.
Tari, this is such a great post. Here’s to a fearless 2021.
Ps. You can really write—even if you don’t finish the “serious” novel.
Thank you Marianne. I can’t tell you how much that means to me! I appreciate your support.
As I’ve told you before, you seem anything but fearful to me. You are always putting yourself out there and encouraging others. You inspire!
Thank you Vicki! I’d like to feel as fearless as you think I am, but then maybe the real goal is just to push ourselves despite our fears.