How do you make the most of your conference experience? Well, I’ve attended five conferences in my stellar career (and even paid for at least two of them). And although the recent article in the July Orange Blossom and the editors blog on the subject covered a few of the basics, I also regret to say they missed a few. Stuff only “insiders” and “big wheelers and dealers” like me would know.
But since I love OCC, I’m willing to share. So here’s my own, personal “Seven Secrets to Making The Most of Your Conference Experience.”
1. Meet Editors
Whenever you go to conference, you should hang out with editors and only editors. (Okay, agents, too, if you’re really hard up.)
Now some people will urge you to try to meet your fellow writers, as well. Even (can you believe it?) unpublished writers. They claim by doing so you’ll have the chance to connect with others who understand what you are going through, and perhaps develop friendships that will support and last you throughout your writing career and beyond.
Well, who needs that?
What you need is to stay focused on yourself and make sure everyone else does, too. And hanging out with editors ensures people notice you. Believe me, whenever I’m with my editor Mary-Theresa Hussey of Silhouette (an executive editor, I’ll have you know!) and I wave and call out “Yoo-hoo! Hi, there!†to people passing, everyone notices me.
Now, I admit, finding editors to hang out with before you are published isn’t always easy. If you are a member of OCC, you might meet a few in the OCC suite during the Book Buyers Best Champagne and Chocolate party Wednesday night, or during the scheduled interviews with our OB editors and podcast producer. Unfortunately, during these events, members are discouraged from interrupting or promoting their own books simply because (can you believe it?) it’s rude.
So, a much better solution than going to the OCC suite or attending editor workshops is to latch on to editors in the hallways. Again, this is not always easy. They’ve obviously been taught not to make eye contact, and can become distressingly deaf when you shout out, “Hey, you! Editor! Slow down. Cuz I have the book of my heart here and–Wait! Please don’t run!â€
That’s right. Editors can run really fast–and they don’t give up easily. I once had to chase my own editor down two halls and up three flights of stairs before I finally found her cowering in a crowded elevator. (Thank goodness her desperate jabs at the button stalled the thing!)
Which brings me to my second piece of expert advice:
2. Wear Appropriate Clothing
Specifically, running clothes. Forget the professional suits and dresses everyone else will be wearing. Pack sweat pants and baggy T-shirts. High-heels? Give me a break–literally. Nikes are the answer when you’re chasing an editor. Don’t argue. Just do it.
And when you catch one:
3. Be Polite
Tell her you’re sorry as you help her to her feet. Keep hold of her sleeve so she doesn’t try to run again, but let her catch her breath. After all, while she is gasping is the perfect time to tell her–line by line, detail by detail–about your 18,000 page, single-spaced manuscript. Don’t quit repeating how this book is “different, special, unlike any other†with everything marketing could want–the best “suspense, mystery, Western, Regency, inspirationally erotic, sports story with a touch of romance thrown in” she’ll ever see until she agrees to read it. While she’s at conference.
4. Be Persistent
Now, once you’ve thrust the manuscript in her arms, you might be tempted to release her. Don’t do it. Try to hang on until she offers you a meal.
You see, all editors have HUGE expense accounts they use to feed their writers. Even unpublished writers have benefited now and again. Some writers get taken out to expensive restaurants for dinner, others are invited to lunch, some to brunch, some to breakfast. My editor and I traditionally meet at a candy bar machine in the lobby on the last day right before she leaves for her plane.
And while I’m munching on my Reese’s Pieces I practice my next piece of advice:
5. Listen
Okay, editors talk a lot. We all know this. And just because they deal with hundreds of manuscripts a day, study editing and marketing for years–yada, yada, yada–they sometimes pick up a few tips about the publishing business. When they share these tidbits, you should listen–because if you don’t you won’t know when to jump in to talk about your book again.
And also, surprisingly, sometimes you might learn something. At the last conference, Mary-Theresa hosted several writers to lunch in the hotel. When I grabbed a chair to join them, I discovered Mary-Theresa was sharing with the group the questions she asks her editors to consider before they decide to buy a project.
Well, the other writers (showoffs!) were taking notes, so I decided to do so, too. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a pen, and the writer next to me (thanks a lot, Angie Ray!) was disinclined to let go when I tried to wrestle hers out of her hand. Which brings me to my next piece of advice:
6. Take a pen and paper.
Yep, this is the answer. Because napkins rip apart when written on, and lipstick blurs. In fact, when I got home and two months later decided to unpack, I could barely read what I had written.
So also don’t forget to:
7. Immediately write down after conference information you might want to use later.
Like, for example, Mary-Theresa’s number. Does anybody have that? (Angie, do you?) Because I’d kinda like to get those questions . . . . .
Sandra Paul aka Sandra Novy-Chvostal has written ten books for Silhouette and also serves as OCC Co-President with Mindy Neff. She promises to bring copies of Mary-Theresa’s lost list to the July meeting; anyone interested in receiving a copy can get one from Sandy or Mindy.
3 0 Read moreIn the July Orange Blossom, OCC writers shared their conference tips. But editors go to conference, too, and also have advice to share. So here’s a couple tips from two conference verterans on “How to Make the Most of Your Conference Experience”:
Silhouette Associate Senior Editor Natashya Wilson emphasizes the basics. “I always print out my own daily schedule with hours in blocks and write/type in everything I need to do–appointments, my workshops, workshops I want to see, etc. I also make sure I contact everyone I specifically need to see ahead of time and set up a time to meet.”
Silhouette Executive Editor Mary-Theresa Hussey says it’s important to allow yourself some down-time as well. “There’s tremendous pressure to do and see everything, but there’s no way you can get it all done. Accept that, and do what you can. And try to work out the one thing to see/do in the city that will leave you satisfied beyond the conference, so that you’ve got something else to look forward to.”
She adds, “Remember, too, that it’s the book you write that will make or break your career, not the clothes you wear, or pitch you do or contacts you think you have to make. Of course, outright rudeness may be remembered, but anxiety or shyness is understood. Complete the very best book possible and submit it.”
2 0 Read moreI’m not sure if most marriage ceremonies still say “..for better or for worse, in sickness and in health…” but in the 21-year marriage of Cindy and Chang Lee, the meaning of those words was certainly observed. After bearing two children, Cindy had back trouble that didn’t go away and left her unable to get around on her own. Chang, a physician, made sure that when he couldn’t look after Cindy himself, some good caregiver did.
Then the unthinkable happened. Chang got a brain tumor. He went through surgery, radiation and chemotherapy and whatever other treatments could be given him, but after months of trying, everything failed. He was going to die soon.
That’s when he decided how he wanted to leave his family and his life. “I want to repeat our wedding,” he told Cindy, “with all the original bridesmaids and groomsmen and relatives who can attend. I want our two children to see how our marriage started. I want a reminder of how much I love you, and how much you love me. Then I may be able to say goodbye. For now.”
The wishes of those who are dying are like commands to those who love them. Arrangements were hastily made for a marriage ceremony in Maui, the air perfumed by plumeria and the whispering ocean as background music. They would have a luau and dancers and all the natural beauty of the Hawaiian island.
They will be flying over there by the end of June, along with people who care about them and wish them well, both of them in wheelchairs, both still in love, and both preparing to say goodbye.
But perhaps only for now.
Gail Kimberly Francis
1 0 Read moreCan I eat Wheaties forever? You know the old cliché that every guy tells another guy. “Why get married? You don’t want to eat Wheaties for the rest of you life do you?†It’s not like there’s Groom’s Magazine to answer these questions. Most of the time the men get overlooked when it comes to the wedding. It’s really considered “her day†anyway.
But I remember our wedding vividly.
For me I had butterflies right when I woke up that morning. It happened to be at 4 AM in the morning and I couldn’t go back to sleep, but we’ll consider that “morning†since it was 7AM East Coast Time. Not much to do at 4 AM except think about Wheaties.
Crazy thoughts start racing through your head like am I too young to get married, had I had enough “experiencesâ€, should I travel the world before I get hitched?? Way too much deep stuff to think about at 4 AM, this, ladies, is why there is ESPN News and infomercials.
The day goes by just like any other day for the most part, you have the best man at your beck and call which is kind of cool because he’s like your slave for a day. They must do that because they realize it’s the last time you’ll be able to boss anyone around and not have a discussion about it. I also found out if you tell the girl at Supercut’s it’s your wedding day you get a free haircut!! Most of the time they are bad by your standards, but hey what do you expect for $15.00 plus tip!!
Now comes the big moment, I’m in the tux, everyone’s staring at me, Mom’s crying and the bride’s maids are in their places. The typical intro chimes in and suddenly the doors are not opening. Sheer panic starts to hit me. I’m going to be one of “those guysâ€. You know the one that you see in the movies where the cute Maid of Honor gives the groom the note and he sits on the altar steps in a crumbled heap of pathetic goo. Finally they swing open and there she is. All I remember thinking was WOW and then the sudden fear of feeling my eyes starting to blur. The last thing I wanted to do was bawl my eyes out. Now that would be real manly and impress my soon-to-be wife. So I take the deep breath, look at the ceiling, stare at a flower for a second and start to think of baseball stats. Yes, it works for crying just as well as you know what!!
The rest is history, the pictures, the first dance were all great, but what’s even better is waking up every morning next to my beautiful wife and thinking Wheaties are damn good.
Chris Diamond
For more on Chris visit: http://www.husbandsanonymous.blogspot.com/
Despite the fact that they were getting married in the country of her birth and not his, my Japanese best friend blamed her American fiancé for the difficulties of planning her wedding.
“He’s the one who wanted a ceremony.”
Her wedding took place at the Atsuta shrine in Nagoya on May 27th,2006, a traditionally good day to get married. And we saw many other wedding groups pass by throughout the day. Japanese-style weddings always happen in Shinto shrines because Buddhist temples are reserved for death, and they’d rather not combine death and marriage.
We started out by walking in a procession that was supposed to be arranged according to people’s relation to the couple, but ended up a confused blob with people sticking with those they could comfortably chat with along the way. At the head of the confusion was my best friend, being helped by an attendant as she walked over the gravel in her traditional white kimono and headdress.
The Shinto Priest led us in prayers for the couple, at least that’s what I assume he was doing since my Japanese isn’t that good. The bride and groom meanwhile were directed to hold a pair of branches in various different ways until the Priest was satisfied.
The next part of the wedding was sitting in a room and sipping tea as we waited for our turn in the shrine for the main ceremony. At this point we noticed a general assumption by the staff of the shrine that as Caucasians my crew belonged with the groom’s party. I admit to some resentment. But as he only had 3 members of his family there and the bride had at least 10, it did even the sides out a bit.
The actual wedding ceremony involves spending a great amount of time watching the bride and groom drink very small sips of sake. The most interesting part was when some men played very loud, sharp sounding instruments while two women in red and white Shinto dress did an elaborate little dance with the ever-present tree branches.
The poor groom, who does not know Japanese, did a fair job of plowing through a speech in that language about marriage and the home, at which point the bride gets off easy and only has to say something like “I am wife,” and the rest of the party finally gets to drink their own little saucers of sake. Up until that point I had thought the clear liquid they were pouring was water so I was a bit surprised.
The reception is not so different from a western wedding, complete with embarrassing dart games. Except if it had been an American reception, I might have missed out on my boyfriend using the karaoke machine to sing an interesting rendition of “(I Can’t Help) Falling In Love With You.”
But it was at the reception that all the cultural differences finally fell away. The groom’s parents (who were from Michigan and as different from my family and the Japanese) followed up their first ever karaoke song with their first ever taste of raw fish. The groom’s brother connected with the bride’s uncles over copious amounts of whiskey. And I found my mother crying with the bride’s aunt and a friend of the family over the fact that the bride’s mother had passed away a few years ago and could not be here to cry herself.
At the end of it all there too was the part of the wedding where the guests get to fumble awkwardly on the microphone and wish the smirking bride and her polite groom a healthy life together. This wedding benefited from the bride’s very drunk uncle’s (later nicknamed the “drunkles”) monologues that made no sense even for those who understood the language. My very brief “Omedetou Gozaimasu” (“congratulations”) was tame by comparison.
Of course we eventually had to leave the room to allow the next wedding party to use it, and we gathered in the lobby to say our last goodbyes and slowly make our exits. We were all still enjoying talking together so this took some time.
Though the ceremony was beautiful and I enjoyed seeing my best friend wed, I think I still sided with her in the end. Should I ever get married, I’d opt to run off to Vegas.
Sara Black
For the full wedding story you can go to: http://scratchingposts.blogspot.com/2006/05/day-3-my-best-friends-wedding.html
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