Tune in soon for Part 5 of Confessions of a Podcast Goddess, when I’ll be talking about my adventures inVenice, Italy speaking at La Biennale arts festival.
Jina Bacarr is the author of The Blonde Geisha and coming in July 2007, Naughty Paris. Jina writes erotic adventure for Spice Books. “Get Caught in the Act!”
with Gina Black
This month on CyberTalk we’re going on fieldtrips! But don’t worry, you can stay in your jammies; you don’t even need to brush your hair or pack a bag lunch; and you can bring the beverage of your choice (as long as you make it yourself).
I’ve got my tea. Is everybody ready? Mouses and trackballs set to go?
First stop: The Crusie-Mayer 2007 Online Workshop
This workshop has been going since January, never fear you can catch up whenever you want and there’s no homework! The link above takes you to a syllabus for the class, which is being given by Jennifer Crusie and her writing partner, Bob Mayer. Both of them are wonderful teachers. Whether you are a newbie or have been writing for a very long time, it’s worth checking this out. (And, yes, I did post about this once before but it’s worth a second plug.) A recent post on subplots was something I’ve needed to read for a long time.
Second stop: OCC Pro Page
Are you are an OCC member interested in becoming a Pro? The instructions for what you need to do is on that page. If you have additional questions, feel free to contact me (and yes, my contact information is also on that page). You may also wish to visit the National site for more Pro information (you will need to log in to access the page).
Third Stop: the Urban Dictionary
Are you writing a contemporary? Do you want to use slang but feel like yours is out of date? (Or do you have teenagers and find that they’re speaking another language?) Check out the urban dictionary; it’s a goldmine. One caveat: definitions are added by anyone who wants to, so you can’t trust them all. Still, it’s the most up-to-date collection of slang I’ve found on the internet. A bonus is that each day they post a word and it’s definition. Here’s a recent entry:
The post-drunken, post-tipsy state at which the removal of clothing begins.
Brian: Jen, where’s your shirt?
Jen: I don’t know; last night I got a little stripsy…
Fourth Stop: the Visual Thesaurus
The Visual Thesaurus is one of the most amazing word-tools I’ve found on the internet. Yes, you need to purchase a subscription, but if you don’t have one, you can look up a word or two on each visit and sometimes that’s all it takes. Instead of presenting word suggestions in paragraphs as they are in most standard thesauri, the word you input connects to other words through outward radiating lines. Click on the word suggestions and it will give you a definition, and also become the center of a new visual display. Try it!
Getting tired? Okay, only one more adventure . . . once you get there you can sit back, close your eyes, and listen to . . .
Fifth Stop: Grammar Girl
These podcasts are usually under five minutes and usually well worth the time. You will have the option of subscribing through iTunes (which is what I do), listening on the page, or reading the week’s entry.
I hope you enjoyed this month’s foray!
And yes, her computer screen really has burned itself into her glasses.
2 0 Read moreFOCUS
by
Geralyn Ruane
Focus? Focus on what? I think I’ll try focusing on those silky moments in life that make me tingle with an awareness that something beautiful has happened. These are the moments that make me go mmmruh.
One day during the recent long weekend, I sunk into an unintentional nap. Just laid down on the bed for a sec, and drifted off near an open window. The breeze rifling through the branches outside reminded me of ocean waves lapping onto shore. And I was transported – to the windy beach where I fell asleep years ago. Nothing amazing happened – no half-naked Navy Seal washed up on shore or anything – but I recall that drowsy afternoon as the most relaxing of my life. Mmmruh . . . it was just so nice to be reminded.
Hours after my glorious nap, I was talking to a woman I know in her kitchen. Her husband came home, walked in through the kitchen door, and touched his wife’s hair at the nape of her neck in way of greeting. Mmmruh . . . the contact was so simple, so intimate! After over twenty years of marriage, he’s still touching her hair, still looking at her with a sweetness that made me blush.
Another day this same weekend, I heard the song “Eternal Flame†by the Bangles. How I loved that song when I was in high school! The song was popular just around the time when suddenly I had such a crush on this kid who’d been in all my same classes for ages. And mmmruh! I remembered that tingly sensation you can feel when out of nowhere everything in life is new, different and unspeakably wonderful.
Now, here’s what I haven’t told you about this wonderful holiday weekend: I worked four fourteen-hour days in a row and I actually fell asleep at the one party I managed to get to by 10pm. The nap I mentioned earlier? It lasted about five minutes and happened while I was waiting for my cat to get done in the litter box so I could scoop before I left for work. The happily married couple? Parents of a student – I saw them while I was reviewing geometry with a sixteen year-old and both of us wanted to be anywhere but studying on a gorgeous Memorial Day. The song I heard? In the car driving between one student who lives in Camarillo and another who lives almost 100 miles away in Diamond Bar.
But the nap was still delicious, the couple still sublime, the song still incandescent. These are the moments I want to remember about that weekend.
Shakespeare once wrote, “Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.†Too often, I tend to think about the BAD stuff. And I TALK about it. To anyone. It’s as though I’m trying to one-up any competitor with a tension-riddled tale of my own. I can become intensely poetic about the fff-ing traffic, the annoyances of work, the incompetence of . . . well, the world in general. Do I think this way and talk about this stuff because I’m cranky and I need more sex? Or do I always feel so beleaguered because I think and TALK TALK TALK about pervasive ickiness? It’s a modern day chicken-egg conundrum, and nobody cares what the miserable answer is.
So from now on, I’m going to think about, focus on, and TALK ABOUT the mmmruh. Instead of bemoaning the traffic jam that made me late, I’ll wax gleeful about this week’s Hero of the Week lauded on news radio (like the local teacher who said she’d shave her head if her students raised a certain amount of money for books for the school. Her bold declaration provoked them to raise triple the stated amount, so she shaved off her beautiful mane of hair to jubilant cheers, laughter and clapping). Though I won’t forget the depressing report I watched chronicling how the US let bin Laden escape (he just walked to Pakistan, supposedly), I’ll fall asleep remembering instead the jubilant choreographer who danced his way on stage to accept his first-ever Tony. Though I sometimes feel my father has just never understood the me-ness of me, I’ll remember instead how after a week of working two jobs, he still found time on weekends to coach my basketball team, my softball team, my soccer team. No matter the season, he was always there. He still is. It’s on this that I’ll focus – and all the things that make me go mmmruh.
Geralyn Ruane’s had a crush on MacGyver since the middle school, and these days she channels all that fantasy energy by by writing romance, chick lit and women’s fiction. Last year her short story “Jane Austen Meets the New York Giants†was published in the New York Times Bestselling anthology The Right Words at the Right Time Volume 2.
By Jenny Hansen
My last first date was almost doomed before it ever got to the starting gate. “Almost†is such a stressful little word, isn’t it? I got engaged on May 4th…we’re getting married on July 2nd. And it ALMOST didn’t happen. It all began in this cheesy little bar in
You know The Zone, right? It’s that really special place that surrounds your heart, without actually being inside it. The Zone is the place you giggled about with your girlfriends in junior high: â€I think he likes me! You’ve likely grown up a bit since then, and you probably don’t laugh like a hyena anymore when you start liking someone. Still, when a new man gets into The Zone, your heart still shimmies in your chest and the world around you shimmers with an extra layer of beauty.
On a great first date, Mr. Hubba zings his arrow (pardon the metaphor) somewhere into The Zone. It might be the way he smiles or the touch of his hand on the small of your back as he guides you through a crowded room. It might be the sound of his laugh, or his ability to tell a great story. I’ll bet you $1000 that every single one of the authors in this contest knows the exact moment when her future husband breached The Zone.
The night I met my husband-to-be was a like a maze of bricks, laid down by a higher power, where every pathway led to a single destination. My mother died in January 2004 and my life was submerged in a syrupy river of grief. By April, my vision was clearing and I was starting to actually see the world around me again.
I attended OCC’s April meeting and an author reception before running home to get gussied up to meet two couples I knew at a place in
If smoking were allowed indoors in
My girlfriend, Mary, and I – two blondes – were out on the dance floor together, shaking our groove thing, when this dark haired man with stunning blue eyes glided up to us.
“Can I join you ladies?†he said while he bopped in time with the music.
Mary gave me a smile soaked around the edges with vodka and said, “Sure. Why not?â€
I admired the cohones on this guy – he couldn’t dance, but he had style. When the song ended, Mary bopped off to the bathroom and he and I went back to sit down at the bar where we began whole getting to know you Dance of Singles. This was helped along by Mary who sidled up a while later and joined the conversation.
“Hey! Dance floor guy! I’m Mary, by the way.†She shook his hand. “What’s your name?â€
“Steve? Uh-huh. What do you do? Oh, a Computer Guy! Uh-huh. Great! Jen works in computers! Where do you live? Oh,
(I tried to slink off right about this time but Mary trains dogs for a living and she’s got a grip like a pit bull.)
“How do you feel about pets? Oh, you’re afraid of dogs? Well, cause she has a dog, but Hoshi’s a really nice dog. She really likes men – Hoshi, not Jen…well, I mean Jen likes men too. Anyway, you guys will do great! What kind of dog? Oh, Hoshi is an
At the end of this conversation, she gave me a thumbs up (right in front of him) and zoomed off. I’m sure she went back to her husband Mike, who loves good gossip, to share the news that “Jen-Pooh was talking to Dance-Floor Guy who stood up to the Inquisition.â€
I gave Steve a pained smile and we continued talking. I was thrilled when he asked if we could exchange information. He joined us when Woody’s closed and we all piled into a car and headed over to Villa Nova, a late-night place in
After we ordered and everyone began talking, Steve leaned in toward me and said, “I’m extremely attracted to you. Are you attracted to me?†I swear, he practically sniffed at me. I blessed the dim lighting that hid my instantaneous blush and stammered a response. Meanwhile, I felt Mike pressing closer to catch every word being said and gave him a swift elbow to the ribs.
Is there anybody more annoying than nosy married friends when you’re single?
We drove Steve home – I was again sandwiched between him and Mike – and he directed us up to the gates of a glitzy
“Why do you live here?,†I blurted out, then moaned silently. Did I actually say that out loud?
Steve didn’t even pause. “My parents are getting older and I like to live close to them.â€
“Ohhhhh!†Mary and our other girlfriend sighed in unison in the front seat.
Steve got out of the car and shut the door. I turned back from watching him walk away and found Mike staring at me like something he’d stepped in at the dog park. “Why do you live HERE? You had it in the bag, and you say ‘why do you live here?’†He threw up his hands. “He is never going to call you!â€
Well, it took him almost a week, but he did call and we did arrange our first date. I opened my door to him and saw him go pale when he caught sight of my 90 pound
I started to give my usual spiel about how my dog is shy and if he just ignored her, she’d be his best friend in about 10 minutes. Then I gave him a quick hug and turned around to find Hoshi splayed out on her back with love-at-first-sight in her eye.
Steve kneeled down to pet her belly. Just like that, he breached The Zone.
Jenny Hansen (aka Jen Crooks) is a longtime OCC member who writes the Writer’s Word column for A Slice of Orange. By day, Jen manages the sales and marketing for a national training firm. After 12 years as a corporate software trainer, it’s nice for her to be able to sit down while she works. By night, she writes women’s fiction, chick lit and short stories.
I was 24 and engaged to be married on June 15 to a guy nobody … but nobody … liked. I had intestinal by-pass (a great deal like lap-band) surgery a couple of years before, having been fat all my life and no dates.
Now, all of a sudden, after losing over 100 lbs., men were coming out of the woodwork and I didn’t know what to do with them all. Frankly, it scared me. I wasn’t even used to flirting, must less a whole date. So, when I picked out this “loser,” it was apparently a bad choice that everyone could see but me. He had been my first date, ever, and we had been seeing each other for about a year.
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More info →A Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
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