I learned one thing when I served on a jury.
Well, in fairness, I learned more than one thing, but one thing really did stand out, and I’ve never forgotten it.
Perhaps because it was so obvious. Perhaps because at the time the people I shared my revelation with felt that it should hardly have been a revelation. And perhaps it shouldn’t have been. But OMG it is something I truly wish everyone actually felt was not only obvious, but something they should live by on a daily basis.
My particular case was excruciatingly boring and interminable (yes, even the Judge went to sleep once), but the experience truly reinforced the home truth:
Don’t judge before you have heard both sides. Really. Don’t.
Now in life, you often don’t have the opportunity to hear both sides.
So pop quiz: what shouldn’t you do?
Correct: don’t come down on a final judgement.
Sure you can have an opinion, but acknowledge that you’re shooting from the hip and your aim and accuracy will suffer for it.
Of course, it is fun to judge others—it can be enormously satisfying and quite entertaining—but not if you start to take yourself and the numerous equally uninformed others seriously. If you plan to make a serious judgment you have to investigate all sides and unemotionally do your homework. And it’s hardly reasonable to take other opinions seriously unless they’ve listened to all sides and done their homework, right? But reason doesn’t seem to have much cachet right now.
A favorite childhood tale was a friend who had a somewhat…difficult relationship with her older brother. Her favorite method of pulling his chain was to wallop him, then shout, “Mommy, Johnny’s hitting me!!!!” Mom would, naturally arrive just in time to see with her own eyes Johnny retaliating, and send him off, no excuses. Eyewitness account!
Our judge instructed us in our role as a jury, noting that it was up to us to discern the truth from the information we were given. “Ask yourself,” he requested, “why someone is saying something. Figure out what their motives might be, what the repercussions might be, and assess the information accordingly.” (Like: will it sell more papers? Get hits? Go viral? Make me famous? Yes? Think about it.)
Good advice.
But in this self-obsessed, self-revelatory, boundary-less world of private/public yammering, everyone is a self-anointed judge, jury and executioner. That is until someone points out the accused wasn’t even there, or the visuals were utterly misinterpreted, or the victim was actually the perpetrator—or vice versa. Oops!
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. [Matthew 7:1-2]
I appreciate the power of stories, books, films—whatever—to put us in the shoes of those pilloried by public opinion. And, I hope, offer us some insight and restraint in controlling our own often irrational and thoughtless behavior.
Bullying isn’t just the province of the young.
Isabel Swift
The picture says it all…
Now if it would only rain here in So Cal!! Perfect for romance.
~Jina
jinabacarr.com
@jinabacarr
Remember that commercial where the woman tells her friend about how great her shampoo is and then that friend tells two friends and so on and so on and so on?
The world has become much smaller thanks to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social networks. And as authors, social media is a critical tool when it comes to self-promotion, publicity and communication. That doesn’t mean you have to do EVERYTHING that’s out there. But you should at least try to do one thing and do it the best that you can.
Remember, though, that the golden rule of social media is to NOT make it all about YOU and YOUR BOOK. It’s important to, you know, be social on social media. That means interacting with others, commenting on their stuff and sharing things about you that have nothing to do with what you’re writing.
As Vice President of Communications this year for OCC RWA, my goal is to get the word out about our great organization so that we can find new members and find new resources and networking contacts for our current members. Social media is going to be a big part of my focus in 2015 and I’d love it if you could help!
Whether it’s linking the posts from this blog or tweeting our online class information or sharing our special events on Facebook, it would be great if you could help me spread the word whenever and wherever you can.
You can find OCC RWA online here:
See you online!
Sabrina Sol
VP, Communications
OCC RWA
P.S. Oh, and in case it was bugging you, that commercial was for Faberge Organics Shampoo. And it starred Heather Locklear! Here’s the link in case you want share with a friend or two..
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