Once upon a golden summer day in Amsterdam I got caught in a wild storm… drenched and vowing never to get rained on again, this California girl rushed into a shop near the canal and bought a yellow umbrella.
Easy to carry and it fit snugly into a sturdy, plastic case.
I loved that umbrella. I took it with me everywhere. Paris. New York. Rome. Then one day, that umbrella saved my life.
I was living in Pisa, Italy and working at a US Army base as a Recreation Director at the Service Club taking care of the troops. Army and Air Force servicemen and women and civilian personnel.
I made coffee every night in a restaurant-size, aluminum coffee urn with a vivacious Italian lady who’d worked at the club forever. We played records, cooked up snacks (my chocolate chip cookies were a hit), set up game boards, puzzles, took the men on restaurant field trips (Italian food to die for!), played pool with them, and piled them onto a school bus and drove them to Pisa to attend Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve in a medieval church.
We always had something going on for the men when they needed a ‘home away from home’.
The rest of our Italian staff consisted of an artist, a photographer, and a housekeeper… I worked in the service club under our American club director along with another American girl who was like a big sister to me.
It was a real growing experience for a girl who had spent her college days living at the beach and surfing. We were una famiglia, a family.
I felt safe. Until one afternoon…
Rain was in the air when I was walking home to my apartment in Pisa after visiting the Italian lady who cleaned my apartment (I gave her husband German lessons since he was going to Switzerland for a job—teaching German while speaking Italian was a real challenge). I had my yellow umbrella with me and I was feeling good about using my proficiency in languages to help the young man find work.
I took my usual route home through the winding cobblestone streets, keeping an eye on the gathering dark clouds overhead. It was riposo, that time of day when shops closed and everybody was having lunch and few people were on the street. (I remember one afternoon when my car battery died and my local mechanic said he’d help me… after he finished his spaghetti and vino. Then he smiled and invited me to join him and his family.)
I was surprised when a tall, young Italian seemed to materialize out of nowhere and fell into step beside me, flirting with me. I smiled, then kept walking. I was in a hurry to get home before it started raining. (I was getting used to the locals flirting when a girl walked down the street with Che bella ragazza! as their battle cry).
And then everything changed in an instant.
How, why… I still don’t know what prompted him, but when we turned a corner, he moved with the swiftness of a predator and pushed me into the alley and came at me from behind. He grabbed me around the neck so tight I couldn’t breathe.
I can only imagine the expression of fear circling in my ears, the sheen of sweat glistening on my face.
I was terrified… I stopped breathing. Why is he doing this?
He kept whispering in my ear, ‘Be still…’ then slowly loosened his grip. I started choking and barely got my breath when he slammed me against a wall and pinned me there… and is that a penknife he’s waving at me? Then I realized what he was about when he unzipped his trousers and—
‘No!’ I cried out and tried to run, but he was too fast and yanked me backward. I thought I was a goner… then he made a mistake. A big mistake when he ripped open my black crepe pants with the sharp blade of his knife.
That did it. I saw red. Those were my favorite black pants.
I got so angry, I lost my fear and jammed my Dutch yellow umbrella into his ribs then bolted out of the alley and ran.
All the way back to my apartment. I never looked back.
Fighting back tears and nausea, I raced into the foyer where I ran into my concierge who was horrified at seeing me… wide eyes, flushed cheeks… and my ripped pants.
Then he pointed to my leg.
‘Signorina, guarda… look!’
I looked down. My thigh was bleeding.
Oh, my God, he cut me.
I wrapped a towel around my leg and sat in my apartment… alone… crying and rocking back and forth like a hurt child… until it got dark. I didn’t know what to do. The bleeding had stopped, but the cut was jagged… dirt, cloth pieces could contaminate the wound.
I finally got up my courage and drove to the Army base after dark. Lucky for me, a medic was the only one on duty and he cleaned the wound (I still have a scar on my left thigh). I pleaded with him not to report the assault. I was certain I’d be blamed and the Army would send me home. So I remained silent.
Until now.
When I was researching my new novel about war crimes in France during World War 2, I realized sexual assault is more common than we think. According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), one in four women are victims of ‘completed or attempted rape’.
Upon further scrutiny, I discovered how little about sexual assault during the war had been covered in historical fiction. I decided the time was right to talk about it, that women have been silent too long. How sexual assault affects a victim’s everyday life… the guilt, the shame, the silence.
And Sisters at War was born.
The story of the Beaufort Sisters living in Paris in 1940 when one is attacked by an SS officer and how the assault affects the lives of both sisters.
So, to every woman who was ever afraid to speak up re: sexual assault, remember, we get courage from each other. Tell your stories.
You are not alone.
Jina
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@jinabacarrauthor WIP woes… #booktok #authorlife #writersoftiktok #amwriting #ameditingfiction #womensfiction #booktoker @bookandtonic #writer #authorsoftiktok #heartbreakingstories #amediting edit
No, this isn’t a trick question.
It’s the challenge we ladies of the pen all face in our social media, digital, crazy, mad, mad world…
The answer is: BOTH.
The writer is me in total chaos working on an insanely difficult book about rape in France during World War II with a deadline looming. My office is a mess, I’m a mess… the manuscript, thank God, is NOT a mess but it’s not finished yet. Weaving such a trauma against the backdrop of the Nazi Occupation is the most gut-wrenching task I’ve ever faced. It’s taken me a while to get a handle on the story of two sisters and how the rape of one of them affects them both.
That’s the writer me.
—–
Now for the author me.
That’s the me writing this post because this is my chance every month to reach out to you guys and let you know what’s going on in my world. It’s how we present ourselves to the book world and at times is as just as trying and difficult as the writer me.
Hence, my TikTok confession.
I hope you enjoy my video showing me in my office drowning in research material… oh, Lord.
——–
And now for some good stuff, if I may.
My WW2 story THE ORPHANS OF BERLIN is now FREE to read in PRIME on Amazon
THE OPRHANS OF BERLIN
Meet the Landau Sisters barely surviving in Nazi Germany… and Kay Alexander, the amazing debutante from Philadelphia who will stop at nothing to save them from the Nazis in 1939 Berlin…
And of course, there’s a British pilot hero to die for…
—————
0 0 Read moreWhat I’ve been up to…
@jinabacarrauthor A week in the life of an author can be crazy crazy #amwriting #amwritingromance #historytok #authorlife #writersoftiktok #booktok #authorsoftiktokr #historicalbooklover #booksthatmakeyoucry #amwritingromance #ameditingfiction
♬ original sound – Jina Bacarr Historical Author♥
Hey, everyone, I just had to share a moment with you… I was proofreading THE ORPHANS OF BERLIN (pulling an all-nighter) and the tears were flowing… I swear every time I get to certain sections of the story, it hits me.
I cry.
We writers spend days, weeks, months getting it right (or so we hope), then it moves through the system and we don’t see it for a while, then we get that final last look before it gets ready for you guys…
And it’s then we get to experience it as a reader. Wow…
You don’t think about the craziness of writing and rewriting and the intense research you’ve done to get there, you get caught up in the moment. Like a dance you’ve rehearsed and rehearsed and then the music starts and your feet don’t touch the ground… you’re flying!
I’m so excited to share this fabulous Boldwood Books cover here with you! This is a story of my heart… it takes place in Paris in the late 1930s and during WW2, Berlin… and Philadelphia. Yes, Philly… during the middle 1930s. We’ve got debutante balls, intrigue in Paris… Berlin when the Nazis came to power… and a hero to die for. And two heroines. Questions? Please ask me! I’m here and dying to share my story with you.
It’s a story about rescuing Jewish children on the French Kindertransport… children’s transport and three sisters who must leave Berlin before it’s too late… and the American woman determined to make that happen.
Thanks for listening…
Jina xx
A heartbreaking World War 2 novel that tells the story of two women’s fight for love, family and hope, as the world crumbles around them. Based on the true story of the Kindertransport rescue from Nazi-occupied Europe.
#TheOrphansofBerlin is out 10th November!
Pre-order now for $1.99 US and UK 99p:
2 0 Read moreA Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
'I will never forget what the Nazi did to me. Never'
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More info →A Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
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