Do Your Characters Think About Their Birthday?
September 12, 2019 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby, Writing tagged as birthdays, characters, writing
So do your characters think about their birthdays at all?
Given that this month is my birthday month and it’s a big one for me, I thought I would go with a birthday theme for my post. I actually woke up on my birthday with a million thoughts racing through my head and one of them was my to do list and the need to find a topic for this post. And then the next thought that came into my mind, was what do the characters we write about feel about their birthday each year?
Then I wondered, if writers thought about their characters birthdays at all and if they addressed anything related to birthdays in their stories.
I’ll admit, it certainly hadn’t been something I’ve thought much about.
Questions such as:
- What do they think of as their birthday approaches?
- Do they have memories of certain years and milestones?
- How often does someone write a scene that includes a birthday?
- And would it be different if we were writing historical or contemporary?
I read a lot of books and I cannot recall any of recent talking about birthdays or their age that much. Not that that topic alone would be a fasinating read.
But as I had my fiftieth birthday dangled in front of me most of this year, the way it affected me was an interesting struggle. One I wasn’t expecting or knew how to deal with. I would think those parts might be interesting to incorporate some how in our character’s backstory.
I find it an interesting perspective to include your characters thoughts about birthdays and ages. Maybe no one ever celebrated their special day before. And all of a sudden they are thrown into a family that does. Or every year was made out to be “the one” special event of the year and now they’ve lost loved ones and it isn’t the same.
Also, milestones and how we celebrate them have changed. We grow older than people did a century ago, so there are more birthdays to celebrate. Or large families with ten children did not have a lot of extra funds, so gifts were not as plentiful as they are today. And today families live further away from each other than they did a century ago.
So it would seem the year our book is set would impact how our characters may look at birthdays.
Do you think the emotions over turning, say, 50, has changed much? What about 18? Or 21? Young adults married at a very young age a century ago, but now most young people wait till they are done with college. So, the focus on what the number means has changed over the years.
For me, this year has been full of trepidation, reflection, and assessment. Having health issues there have been several times I’ve wondered if I’d passed into a new normal. Low energy, unable to eat certain foods, has made me wonder if I was aging out of my prime. It’s quite comical, actually. What if this was the beginning of the end? I know . . . dramatic, but hey! I have felt it a bit this year.
So as my birthday approached, and I was trying to answer my husband’s question of what I wanted to do for my birthday, a part of me didn’t want to even address it. A few friends had felt that way as well, and I laughed it off, but when it hit me that way too, well, that was an interesting perspective. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t want to burden anyone or put anyone out. But why? Why did I feel this?
And my husband, being the gem he is, read between the lines and very patiently walked through question after question, just to make sure he understood. Which was something I really needed. Bless him, he didn’t want to get it wrong!
Birthdays come and go but I don’t think the emotions behind them have changed much.
Some people dread them, some want to celebrate them big, while others try to find something in the middle. Maybe we can take some of the birthday experiences around us and put them in our stories. Maybe not a specific scene, but knowing your characters perspective about their special day in the background may not be a bad way to incorporate why they are the way they are.
P.S. I googled “celebrating birthdays in a romance novel” after I wrote this post and did you know there are actually several stories that are centered around birthdays? I might just have to find a few and read them.
Tracking Real Life Turning Points
August 12, 2019 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as Next Steps, Planning, Turning Points, writer's Life
Real life is full of turning points. Some we ignore, others are decided for us. And where I’m at right now, “Turning Point” fits. I find writing about them helps me process them. What can I say? I love to journal. It’s the writer in me. Thus the title “Tracking Real Life Turning Points.”
Definition of a turning point: “Turning points are story events, either plot or character related, that mark where the story “turns” in a new direction. The new direction is usually caused by a big choice or dilemma faced by the characters.”
What new direction am I talking about for me personally? Quite a few small ones that are turning into really big ones.
Yes I will admit my life has circled around my kid’s activities and schedules. I volunteer, I attend events, and I help out wherever I can. I’ve thrown class parties, graded papers, made props, and cleaned up after a performance. I’ve coached a robotics team for four years and choreographed seven years of musicals. I’ve attended chapels, assemblies, traveled to Sacramento and DC. After sixteen years of having our three boys attend Friends Christian School, our time has come to an end. Our youngest graduated from 8th grade in June and with that a new direction for our family.
The writer in me has to write this out since it’s such a ‘turning point’.
And quite possibly if I didn’t, I might inadvertently do something I shouldn’t, but I wouldn’t know if I didn’t write it out. Does that make any sense at all?
This past year I have worked more hours as an employee than any other. Robotics Coordinator, Substitute Teacher and Choreographer. I have to make a decision whether to continue in these capacities next year. I’d love to, but I really think God has other plans for me and my family. Hence why I call this a ‘turning point’ in my life. I need to say goodbye and then wait for God to open the door for the new direction He wants me to go in.
With my middle son graduating from high school, things will change there too. But I won’t be leaving EDHS, nor will we not have a kid in choir, theater or DMAA, since the youngest plans to be involved in all those things just like his brother. And with my middle son heading to college (even though he will be still living at home), that schedule will be new and exciting and a huge turning point for all of us as well.
So with all this change, the biggest question is where will I spend my time going forward?
I don’t know. But what I do know is that I need to be ready and if I have year-long commitments, I won’t be available to do what God wants me to do. This is so hard for me to put down on paper. Whether it’s the fear of the unknown and worrying about how much I will miss it, I feel God nudging me to let go.
I’ve been stretched so thin for so long, that there’s nothing left for me to give for the new areas God has called me to go. Writing, a regular paying job, more attention to my family and home. Rest. All of it.
I’m probably way behind in letting go. God has been waiting for me. I sense it. I feel it. He can’t do more with me when I’m stretched so thin. And I want to be used by Him. Where he wants me.
I have to be the one to close the door first, before other doors can open. And yet that is so difficult to do.
Maybe I’m more like my heroine, Olivia Carmichael, than I realized. I find it interesting that the novel I’ve been writing for the past five years is about letting go and trusting God. Give up control. Maybe I’ve been writing this novel for myself more than anyone. And I’ve been so focused on how to write it and what to write and getting it right, that I haven’t internalized what my story was truly about.
Plans. Our plans vs God’s plans. And what happens, when we let go and let God guide us and direct us.
My theme verse for my book is “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)
But there are other verses that I have written down as well that fit.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 5
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:36 36
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21
I began writing this post in June as I was processing all this change. In the midst of that a part-time corporate marketing copywriting job came about which has been much answered prayer for many reasons (i.e. paying for college!). A short-term project that now looks like it will last much longer. Yes, it has pulled me away from other things (like summer fun with my family), but it has also helped me get in a better writing routine overall and helped set much needed boundaries with my family because “mom is working from home.” These are the habits I have needed for my writing.
As I went back to finish this post, I wondered if I should scrap it alltogether.
But it’s so much a part of my writing journey, I decided to still post it.
I’m sharing my heart and hope there is some encouragement here for others. What I find amazing is how when we write about a point in time, how quickly circumstances or those feelings change.
And Yet…
Capturing these turning points helps us to see where we’ve been, how far we’ve come, and gives us hope for the future.
In essence, I just got through this big huge turning point and I’m already on to the next chapter. I can see my next steps on the horizon and even though it’s not all spelled out, I believe I’m headed in the right direction.
It will be interesting to see the next part of my story unfold.
0 0 Read moreAppreciating Those Moments of Clarity
July 12, 2019 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as brainstorming, clarity, writing
Isn’t it nice when an idea becomes crystal clear?
Sometimes there are moments of clarity where the next idea is so strong, it’s obvious what to do.
Other times, you keep pondering over an idea, knowing there’s something more pronounced underneath but not able to give it the bandwidth needed to figure it out.
Sometimes I’m just too busy and miss the opportunities right in front of me.
If you are anything like me, my to-do list is fifteen miles long and has everything on it; laundry, take my son glasses shopping, help get another son ready for college, figure out what to cook for dinner. When all I really want to do is sit down and write and breathe and let all my thoughts come to the surface. Of course even in my writing list, there is so much there it’s hard to figure out what I should work on first and what things would make the biggest impact now.
Just the other day I had a moment of clarity and it felt so motivating and I want more of them.
So I’m trying to figure out what got me to that moment and then ideas of when they’d happened before popped up in my head.
- I’ve had moments of clarity when I’ve met someone new that inspired me.
- Or came when I attended a writers’ conference/meeting/seminar.
- Or when I was out and about and something triggered an idea. (Why is it always when I’m driving or in the shower?)
- Or on those rare occasions when I have a moment to just stop and think.
And voila! Something clicks. It feels right. Confirmed inside your heart and soul.
As a writer, I want these moments more than they happen, but when they do occur I can at least now recognize it as something important and write it down and move forward with it.
Of course, now I have to find time to make it happen, but that’s an entirely different blog post!
Do you get these moments of clarity? Where are you when they come? And what do you do when you have one?
Happy Writing,
Denise
0 0 Read moreNew Chapter By Denise M. Colby
June 12, 2019 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as Family, Graduation, New Chapter, writing
Books are written with chapters. Some books organize thoughts and points by chapter. Others are just continuing the story either from a different POV or a new plot twist, which makes us want to continue reading, wondering what will happen next.
Our lives are a little like this as well.
Some can be really long chapters and some can be short. A lot depends on what we are doing in the middle of the chapter and our control over whether we are starting fresh or not. Sometimes a new school year can be a new chapter, sometimes a new semester, or sometimes it’s changing schools or graduating. All these stages in life can be a new chapter.
All three of my boys have new chapters this year – they are graduating something.
The oldest had his a few weeks ago from the Community College he has been attending. And today we celebrate the other two – my youngest graduates 8th grade, while my middle son graduates high school. Both on the same day. It’s been a bit nuts the past few weeks. Lots of lasts, lots of goodbyes, lots of getting things ready for the next year, whether it was math placement tests, or turning in paperwork for college. It has been so fun to be on this journey with them, but I’m also very excited to turn the page and see what happens next.
At my age it’s a lot easier to reflect back and know what an exciting time this is for all three of them. They can do anything they put their minds to. Many doors will open and some will close. It will be up to them to make it all happen. And it’s interesting to see how quickly something can change or an opportunity presents itself.
Kind of like our characters do in the books we write.
It makes me think about my writing and somehow trying to put that same expectancy on the page. So that when we read we can’t put a book down because we are excited for what’s around the corner and we don’t want to miss it.
I sort of forget how flexible we all were when we were younger. Not so set in routine and order. Maybe that’s something I should keep in mind when I’m working on my book.
Happy Graduation boys. Mom is super proud of you!
0 0 Read moreIt’s A ‘Short And Sweet’ Mother’s Day!
May 12, 2019 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby, Writing tagged as books, Mother's Day
Today is Mother’s Day. I was very excited when I realized my monthly post fell on this special day. I knew immediately what I wanted to write about. So first, I want to wish everyone a Happy Mother’s Day, whether you are a mom or you have a mom (which we all do, even if they are no longer with us!)
This is my first Mother’s Day since my mom passed.
I have to admit, it’s really weird. But as a mom myself, I’m celebrating with my kids and my mother-in-law, and thinking about my mom in so many ways.
I’ve actually written a lot about her this past year. Writing is therapeutic, so maybe writing about her has been part of my healing process. So given it’s Mother’s Day, I figured you wouldn’t mind if I wrote about her, again.
After all, she is my mom!
Even though I miss my mom, I have much to be thankful for this Mother’s Day, including a new article published in the 6th edition of the Short and Sweet series, titled Short and Sweet’s Family Album. All of the articles and poems are written about family members and each article is in one word syllables.
My article is all about my mom, titled Thanks To Mom.
I had originally wrote it as a poem a few years back (which I posted last July in the post Smile and Be Grateful In The Little Things when my mom passed away).
Since it was not included when my first article was published in the 3rd edition, which I wrote about in this post, I was quite excited to be contacted for this issue.
The editor asked me to rewrite it in prose vs a poem, so it’s completely different than the poem, even though the underlying theme is the same. I was even able to include a picture of my mom and myself.
It’s special to me, that I’ve been able to write about her in such a permanent way.
And it’s special to me, that I have yet another publishing credit to my name! I love being a part of the Short and Sweet family.
And Mother’s Day is a perfect time to celebrate both my mom and my writing.
Have a blessed day!
Denise
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