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November 30, 2023 by Dianna Sinovic in category Quill and Moss by Dianna Sinovic, Writing tagged as flash Fiction, grief, loss, recovery

Leaves, leaves, and more leaves—the fall chore overwhelmed Kelsie each year, ever since she’d lost Tanner. It wasn’t the yardwork that ate at her, but more the season, the slide from a glorious summer into an end-of-growing-things autumn, followed closely by the chill of winter, when everything was either dead or in a deep sleep. That inevitability reminded her she’d been powerless to stop Tanner’s death—once the cancer was diagnosed, he’d had exactly three months left, those three months falling during a turbulent autumn.

Her friends worried for her. “Five years out, you should be bouncing back,” they said. “He would want you to live your life, not stay buried in grief.”

But they didn’t know—hadn’t known—her brother. After their father, and then their mother had died, Tanner had been her lifeline. For that bittersweet decade after their deaths, he had served as her confidant when her personal relationships soured. He’d always, always led her toward the positive, even after he got sick.

“You’re a tough woman,” he’d said when she expressed doubt that she could carry on without him. “You’ll survive. That’s what we do. All of this loss makes you strong.”

But she knew different. Loss left holes. Large ones that couldn’t be filled, no matter how many days, weeks, or years passed. Couldn’t be filled, no matter how many dead leaves you stuffed into them.

And so Kelsie raked. The piles grew, and she allowed the ache in her arms and shoulders and back to counter the pain in her soul. Her thoughts butted up against the endless question: Why had she been spared? Tanner should have lived, not her; even after all this time, she was still not up to the task of facing her life alone.

When the sun sank below the trees, she put up the rake and went indoors for a hot mug of hard cider and a hearth fire. She dozed in her chair, hearing over the crackle of the flames the wind gusting. I should have moved the leaf piles into the woods. Now they’ll be scattered.

The following morning, Kelsie pulled on her jeans, boots, and sweater to tackle another round of yard work. Glancing out the bedroom window, she stepped closer to the glass, to better see.

The wind—or something—had indeed moved the leaves, but instead of scattering them, they were arranged on the grass in a pattern, one that spelled a name: hers.

“Tanner,” she whispered, feeling suddenly lighter. The darkness within her retreated with the day’s full sunlight. “Thank you.”

Books with more of Dianna’s stories

THE DARKEN DOORSTEP

AN ELEMENT OF MYSTERTY: SWEET, FUNNY, AND STRANGE TALES OF INTRIGUE

UNTIL DAWN: A Supernatural Anthology

FUR, FEATHERS AND SCALES: Sweet, Funny, and Strange Animal Tales

UNTETHERED: SWEET, FUNNY, AND STRANGE TALES OF THE PARANORMAL

SEASON’S READINGS: More Sweet, Funny, and Strange Holiday Tales

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Neetu Malik: Featured Author

November 29, 2023 by Neetu Malik in category Featured Author of the Month tagged as Featured Author of the Month, Neetu Malik, Poet's Day, poetry

Neetu Malik’s poetry is an expression of life’s rhythms and the beat of the human spirit. She draws upon diverse multicultural experiences and observations across three continents in which she has lived. She has contributed to The Australia Times Poetry Magazine, October Hill Magazine, Prachya Review, among others. Her poems have appeared in The Poetic Bond Anthology V and VI published by Willowdown Books, UK, NY Literary Magazine’s Tears Anthology and Poetic Imagination Anthology (Canada).

Her poem, “Soaring Flames”, was awarded First-Place by the NY Literary Magazine (2017). She has also been nominated for the Pushcart Prize, 2019 for her poem “Sacred Figs” published by Kallisto Gaia Press in their Ocotillo Review in May, 2018.

Neetu lives in Pennsylvania, USA.

You can find Neetu’s poetry in these volumes.

Hover on the cover for buy links. Click on the cover for more information.

Pennsylvania Bards’ Eastern PA Poetry Review 2023

THE POETIC BOND X

THE OCOTILLO REVIEW SUMMER 2018 VOL 2.2

THE POETIC BOND V

THE POETIC BOND VI

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Appearances by Neetu

November 26, 2023 by Neetu Malik in category Poet's Day by Neetu Malik tagged as appearances, being nice, expectations, Neetu

Appearances

I hear a knock at the door . . .
but no one appears

I sigh with relief
because I don’t need
an audience
when I am dressed
in my pajamas at noon
couldn’t care less
to impress
or to pretend
I’m a sophisticate
just waking up late
having exhausted
my intellect solving
climate change
or something still undefined
but to be expected
at the crack of dawn
one day in the future
if I am still alive

when all I did
was stare at my coffee
until it was cold . . .

but the relief!
Oh why must I apologize
for what I wear
or what I believe
even if someone appears
uninvited at my door?

The thought troubles–
I go inside
myself . . . feeling
like a hypocrite
disenchanted by
the force of habit
to seem nice

(c) Neetu Malik