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MONITORING YOUR ENERGY

January 15, 2009 by in category Archives


By Debra Holland

Everyone I know has a busy, busy life. The temptation for most people is to go and do, trying to fit everything in. And when you’re an author, you always have writing hanging over your head—it doesn’t matter whether you’re published or unpublished.

About fifteen years ago, I found out the hard way what happens if I push myself past my energy limits. I was in graduate school at the time, in addition to working and everything else I was doing. I remember feeling stressed and fatigued, but I had a few projects to finish. My intuition kept saying, “Rest.” I’d answer that I’d rest once I’d completed everything, just a few more days….

Then I heard the message, “If you don’t stop, I’m going to force you to stop.”

I gave the same answer, so, sure enough; my body forced me to stop by making me sick. What a lesson!

Ever since that time, I’ve paid attention to what my body tells me about the stress I’m feeling, what my energy levels are, and if my immune system feels compromised. I’ve learned the little signals, personal to me, that tell me what I need to do to help myself. Consequently, I’m rarely ill.

In my work, both as a therapist and as a crisis counselor, I give a lot of my energy to help others heal. Therefore, I need to make sure I replenish my energy.

One of the best ways to take care of your energy is to know if you are an introvert or an extrovert. The way to determine if you’re an introvert or an extrovert is to ask yourself how you replenish your energy. “Do I replenish my energy through solitary activities (reading, writing, gardening, playing on the computer) or through people-oriented activities (going to parties or events, participating in clubs or organizations, or hanging with a group of friends)?

Most people make the mistake of thinking an extrovert is someone with an outgoing personality. Yet, you can be (like me) an outgoing introvert. Or (like most writers) you can be an introvert who’s not comfortable around a lot of people.

Once you know if you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you’ll know what to do to restore your energy. If you’re an introvert, and your extrovert spouse wants you to go to a party, you know that won’t help your energy levels, and in fact might actually deplete them more, even if you enjoy yourself.

As an introvert, it’s important for me to balance my people-oriented work and social activities with solitary time for myself. Otherwise, I’ll drain my energy too much.

What else do I do to keep my energy up?

1. I exercise semi-regularly. I say “semi” because crisis jobs tend to drop into my schedule, disrupting my routine. Also some times in my life, I’m more self-disciplined than others. I keep hand weights at home because on busy days it’s easier to take 20 minutes doing weights at home then to drive to the gym. Other days I do complete weight and cardio workouts at the gym.

2. I try to eat healthy. I say try because I’m too fond of chocolate, cheese, and pizza to be completely healthy. I keep healthy snacks handy that I can grab and eat in the car, such as hard-boiled eggs, apples, yogurts, protein bars, nuts, turkey hot dogs, string cheese. I love salads, but don’t like to make them, so I go to the salad bar at the grocery store and buy a big enough one that lasts for several meals. For each meal, I add avocado and cottage cheese to the salad.

3. I prioritize sleep. I need a LOT of sleep—more than normal. I take naps to make up for not enough sleep at night. I love long naps. Today (Sunday) I sent my boyfriend off by himself to see a “boy” movie, so I could nap without feeling guilty for not spending time with him. Once awake, I had enough energy to write and catch up on some of the tasks I’ve put off this week from fatigue and working long hours.

I’ve also found catnaps to be helpful. In the afternoon, if I doze for a few (two to five) minutes in my chair between clients, I’ll feel refreshed for the rest of the day and long into the evening.

4. I take a novel everywhere I go, so I can read every chance that I have. During a difficult consulting job, I make sure to close the door, take a lunch and read, if only for a few minutes. Another way to refresh.

5. I take vitamins, minerals, Co-Q 10, and salmon oil. On days I feel my immune system dropping, I add a fizzy Airborne tablet to water or green tea, take extra vitamin C, and suck on Zinc lozenges.

6. I try to say no to people or opportunities that I don’t want to do, or that I know will take too much of my energy.

My life still gets away from me sometimes, but by focusing on “self-care,” I manage to maintain my energy level (most of the time) and stay healthy.

Debra Holland received a master’s degree in Marriage, Family, and Child Therapy and Ph.D in Counseling Psychology from USC and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She is a one-time Golden Heart and a two-time GH finalist.

Dr. Debra is the author of a forthcoming book, Rules of Engagement: How to Have a Boundary Setting Conversation With a Difficult Person.

Visit Dr. Debra at http://www.drdebraholland.com/ and see her latest interview at http://musetracks.wordpress.com/2009/01/12/contest-wisdom-interviews-debra-holland/

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Pro Blog – Butt In The Chair

January 14, 2009 by in category Archives

By Janie Emaus

Since this is the first PRO blog of the year, I’m thinking about New Year’s resolutions. But while most people write about making resolutions, I’m going to write about breaking them. Why exactly does that happens? Because most often they are unrealistic.

Take last year for example. I made a resolution to write at least ten pages a day. That would amount to 3,650 pages for the year or about ten books! Of course, that was impossible. Some days I did write more, some days I wrote way less. This year in order not to get frustrated I was going to drop it down to a word a day. Well, I’ll have completed my goal by the end of this blog. That’s just plain ridiculous. So, I’m going to settle for about a chapter a week. Forget the page count.

Last year I made a resolution to stay sharp-minded every time I sat down to write. Some days it just wasn’t happening. My mind was a muddled mess. My heroine had straight blonde hair on page ten, auburn curls on page twenty and then brown waves on page twenty-five. And I don’t remember her going to the hair salon. My hero wanted to confess his love on the third page of the novel. Forget conflict and plot. Forget that book! The only thing sharp was the number two pencil I used to mark off all those mistakes.

My last resolution was to have a book published by my birthday. Well, my birthday came and went. At first I was depressed. Then I realized there are some things I cannot control (such as the state of the publishing business) and others that I can. I can control how I live my life so that I do keep having birthdays. And I alone have the power whether to write or not. And to write the best books that I can.

So, no matter how old I am – that’s my plan. Keep on writing. Whether I write five words a day or two thousand. Whether my mind is dull or sharp. I’m going to keep on doing what I love most. I’m going to keep my butt in this chair and write!

How about you?


Janie Emaus writes both adult and teen fiction. Her agent is currently submitting several of her novels. She currently writes a weekly column, THE BLOGGING BABY BOOMER at www.fabulously40.com

P.S. Since writing this blog, I broke my finger and I’m still writing!

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All In The Family

January 13, 2009 by in category Archives tagged as

By Bobbie Cimo

Besides CBS once being known as the Tiffany Network, it also had the reputation as being the most friendliest studio in town to work for. People who work in the entertainment field and especially in Production can bounce from one lot to another, depending on where they land employment for the next upcoming season. So it’s not uncommon to have someone return to the same studio at different times of their career. But the one thing I’ve heard repeatedly when someone returned to CBS was how happy they were to be back, because it was like coming home to family. Which might explain why we’ve had some people working from the corporate side for twenty, thirty, or even forty years…and up until a few weeks ago, one person for over sixty-four years and only left because of down sizing.

At one time the department I worked in, Stage Operations, shared it’s offices with the Production Supervisors Department. For those of you not familiar with the term Production Supervisors, they were considered the go-betweens, between studio and Production. In another words, they were the person who represented CBS, but also made sure that all the show’s requirements were met while keeping track of the budget. If an error was made during taping and it was a technical problem caused by CBS, the show would receive a rebate. But if the problem was caused by production, then the show would be charged. Simply put, the PS acted as a referee. But like in all families, there’s always the occasional disagreement.

In most cases the relationship was amiable. But once in a while a PS would have to be reminded who they worked for, especially when they seemed to favor the Production

Company more than the people who were giving them a paycheck. And maybe sometimes that was true, especially when a PS would resign from CBS because they had been wooed away by Production and landed themselves as the newest Executive Producer of the show.

A Production Supervisor once wandered into my boss’s office to give him heads up on a stage crew requirement needed for an up-coming remote. It was for the controversial sitcom, “All In The Family”. When he asked her for the date, she said she couldn’t supply one, as they were having problems finding a suitable site.

If any of you are familiar with the show, you’ll remember the lovable bigot, Archie Bunker played by Carroll O’Connor. He was married to the sweet, lovable Edith, who he constantly told to stifle herself. Their grown-up daughter Gloria was played by Sally Struthers, who Archie affectionately referred to as “little girl”. When she marries “Meat Head” and becomes pregnant, her boss fires her. Gloria retaliates by forming a protest rally in front of the department store where she was fired from.

The problem with finding a site was to make sure it wasn’t regional recognizable. Because the Bunkers lived in New York, we had to make sure it wasn’t a department store located only on the West Coast. Plus CBS was not about to give away free ad space during a primetime show.

Hearing the problems with Production, I piped in with a possible solution. Yes, just like with any family, there’s always someone sticking their nose into someone else’s business. Loretta, the PS, thanked me for my input, but assured me they had checked out all the major department stores, like MayCo, Robinsons, Neiman Marcus, Orbach’s, The Broadway, Joseph, and I Magnums to name a few (some of you are probably too young to know any of these stores). I acknowledged her selection by saying, “ Yes, but have you checked out The Broadway on Wilshire Boulevard?” She looked at me incredulously, “Are you sure?” “Trust me, Loretta, I’m a shopper,” I answered. “There’s no name on the front doors.” In which she responded with, “Bobbie, if you’re right, I’m putting you in the show.”

If you ever get an opportunity to see an episode of “All In The Family” and you see Gloria protesting in front of a big department store, look closely at the woman carrying an “Unfair to Unwed Mothers” sign, shaking her fist in the air–and you’ll probably recognize me.

It’s one thing to work as an extra in front of a camera when you’re not use to it, but it’s another when you’re doing it in front of people you know, especially cute young cameramen that you’ve had a crush on…whose egging you on to put more of yourself into the scene of an unwed mother.

The first time I saw my piece, I locked myself in my boss’s office and watched the New York feed alone (the New York feed is three hours earlier than the West Coast feed). Then I watched it later in the day with my anxious co-workers…only I had my hands over my eyes. The third time I watched it was that night with family. That was the last time I saw it, (many, many years ago).

I would occasionally see Carroll O’Connor in the hallways at work and sometimes I would even share a ride in an elevator with him. Outside of saying hello and a few words, he very rarely ever spoke to me. I don’t think he even knew I had worked on his show, as he wasn’t in the scene that day.

Carroll also was co-owner of a well known restaurant in Beverly Hills called the Gingerbread Man around the height of his “All In The Family” career. Because I heard they had excellent food and it was a fun place, I went to dinner with my sister there. For some reason I got lucky that night and was placed at a prime spot, across from a roped off table which I assumed was reserved for either VIP’s or for Carroll himself, who probably just lent his name to the restaurant, but most likely never showed up. I was proven wrong when Carroll came over to our table, shook hands with me and my sister and asked if I was being treated all right. He chatted for awhile and left, never stopping to talk to anyone else. After he left, my sister said to me, “I didn’t know you knew Carroll O’Connor personally.” To which I responded, “Neither, did I.”

To this day I don’t know if he came over just to be nice, or because he recognized me from work…and in which case, it would prove my point that it is “All In The Family.”

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Jina’s Vision Board Podcast

January 11, 2009 by in category Archives tagged as

by Jina Bacarr

Are you living the life of your dreams? If you’re not, you need a Vision Board.

I’ve had a vision board for years, pasting pictures, quotes and stories on my board about my vision to write and sell books that take place in exotic locales: Japan, the Near East, 1930s Berlin, WWII London, 1889 Paris.

It’s all there on my vision board. And now I’m thrilled to be included in a new book called: THE VISION BOARD: the secret to an extraordinary life by Joyce Schwarz.

I wrote a section with Joyce on Erotic Meditation (Visions of Love and Sex: 5 Tips to Help Spice Up Your Visioning) showing you how you can be spiritual and sexy by using the Japanese art of erotic meditation and you don’t even have to take your clothes off.

Since a picture, I mean, a vision board, is worth a thousand words, here’s a video podcast I made about my vision board:

Does it work for writers? I love it. As I’m writing this, I’m looking at a new picture I put up on my vision board of a character in my WIP and it stirs my imagination, revving me up to get back to work…I should add it’s a picture of a really sexy hunk.

How many of you have a vision board? I’d love to hear about your vision board!

Best,
Jina

Jina Bacarr is the author of The Blonde Geisha , Naughty Paris, Tokyo Rendezvous, a Spice Brief, and Spies, Lies & Naked Thighs, featuring a heroine who’s an Indiana Jones in high heels.

Coming in April 2009:

Cleopatra’s Perfume

“One whiff and every man was her slave.”

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Life Through The Eyes Of A Writer

January 11, 2009 by in category Archives

By Nancy Farrier

Holidays are about family and friends. This past Christmas, my daughter and her boyfriend drove down to spend the week with us. They literally fought their way through snow and ice to get to our house, but they were glad they came. Moreover, I was glad they came. We had a wonderful visit, and a very good Christmas.

My son and grandson didn’t get to come for Christmas, so my husband suggested we take off on New Year’s Day and go to see them for a couple of days. Driving from Southern California to Tucson, Arizona takes about eight hours. I do not like driving. The constant vibration of the car, although minimal to most people, is hard on me. However, the excitement of spending time with my son and grandson offset any trepidation I had about the travel.

The night before we were to leave, our church had a New Year’s Eve service. I didn’t get home until after one in the morning, so I wasn’t ready to roll out of bed early the next day. As we drove toward Arizona I was tired. I kept falling asleep and missing parts of our book on tape. By the time we arrived, I was ready to get out of that car. My body ached from the constant sitting. I was tired and desperately wanted to be cranky.

All the discomfort disappeared with the first hug from my grandson. His excitement at seeing me made my day. My son had fixed a delicious home made Mexican meal for us. He even made sure to make part of it that dovetailed with my special diet.

The next two days were wonderful. We played games on the XBOX 360, went hiking, had a Guitar Hero battle, laughed and talked, and caught up as a family. Even though the trip home was long, I was very glad to have gone. All the discomfort was worth the end result of spending time with my family.

I couldn’t help thinking about how my writing is often like this. The writing and editing can be long and painful. There are bumps in the road of writing that are discouraging. You get tired of working on the story. However, when you see the finished book, when your reader tells you how much the story meant to them; then you know the hard work was worthwhile.

Nancy Farrier

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