She wraps her child
in the old, soft mantle
though the child is
grown into a woman
she has raised
with gentle hands
and tender affection
her daughter shivers
as chill pierces through
holes in the aged fabric
a mother’s excuses
no longer explain
how they came to be
in the first place
through the tight weave
that could never rip.
© Neetu Malik
Why was the book Dune by Frank Herbert so successful?
Most people would probably say world-building. Herbert created a compelling futuristic world of suspensor lamps, stillsuits and blue-eyed spice-drugged Fremen, and in it he placed the unassuming Paul Atreides, the character every one of us, male or female, identifies with. But let’s dig a deeper, let’s “get into the weeds” as one of my professors used to say. I’m talking adjectives here. And yes, Herbert was a master.
“The woman was a witch shadow—hair like matted spiderwebs, hooded ‘round darkness of features, eyes like glittering jewels.”
I LOVE THIS SENTENCE!
“witch shadow”
She’s more than evil, she’s powerful. Or is she? Witches, even in the future, only have the power we give them. So, who gave her power? Ut oh, it turns out his mother did. She mated with his father on command. But it gets worse. His mother disobeyed the witch.
“matted spiderwebs”
This phrase feeds on the first. Spiderwebs hide in corners and under chairs. Nearly transparent, they are easy to miss. These words aren’t about her hairstyle. Herbert is telling us that her web, and his mother’s disobedience, has caught something—and his name is Paul Atreides.
“glittering jewels”
I confess. I stole this phrase. Yup. I used it to describe the eyes of a dragon. It screams EVIL.
Herbert’s wonderful adjectives aren’t limited to his prose. Consider some of the titles of his books:
The Godmakers
I like this one because it plays on the well known “Kingmakers.” I guess things are different in the future. They don’t just make kings, they make gods.
Whipping Star
I’ve got read this book. What the devil is a “Whipping” star?
My husband is an Alabama boy. He grew up on the gulf coast. His senior year, he and three others went stag to homecoming. On the way home they drove down to the beach to park and watch the sun come up. Not yet legal, they nonetheless were well supplied with beer. They popped a few open, loosened their ties, kicked off their shoes . . .
Waves, coming in the open car windows, woke them up. Nope, the car didn’t make it out alive.
Often my adjectives are like the story you just read—painfully predictable. A great book—or a great poem—helps me splash my readers in the face with borrowed gems. I am also learning to link my adjectives as Herbert did with “witch”, “shadow”, and “spider-web”, to create a picture within a picture. We not only know what the woman looks like, we know she is of the dark, moves in the dark, and more dark is coming.
Happy Writing!
A born and raised Minnesotan, Renae Wrich is a lover of hot dishes, lakes, and snuggling up with a good book on a cold winter day. Renae holds a B.A. in English from the University of Minnesota Duluth. She lives in a suburb of Minneapolis with her husband and two children (who love macaroni and cheese). Mac and Cheese, Please, Please, Please is her first book.
Visit her website at www.renaewrich.com to learn more.
Release date: August 15, 2023
As Cerissa and her vampire fiancé celebrate their first Christmas together…secrets abound!
The surprise Cerissa prepares for Christmas Eve will be everything Henry wants, but the gift he gives her on Christmas night will turn their household upside down with happy chaos.
Except when Anne-Louise calls with unreasonable demands, his maker may very well rip the holiday fun right from Henry’s hands…
Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C1N2NLRD
Jenna’s : https://www.jennabarwin.com
I can’t believe that my book, Mac and Cheese, Please, Please, Please, turned three last month!!!
It brings me so much joy to think of my little book as a three-year-old going around begging everyone for macaroni and cheese. 😂
If you haven’t come across my book before, it’s a story inspired by my own daughters and their relentless pursuit of macaroni and cheese for every meal.
Every day, they’d ask their mommy,
“Please, please, please, Mommy.
Please, please, please.
Can we have mac and cheese?”
Publishing this book was such an incredible experience for me during a really tough year. I look forward to putting out the sequel, which I’m hoping to make happen in 2024.
Until then,
Peace, love, and mac & cheese! 💛
A Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
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More info →A Slice of Orange is an affiliate with some of the booksellers listed on this website, including Barnes & Nobel, Books A Million, iBooks, Kobo, and Smashwords. This means A Slice of Orange may earn a small advertising fee from sales made through the links used on this website. There are reminders of these affiliate links on the pages for individual books.
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