INTERIOR DIALOGUE by Kidd Wadsworth
December 25, 2023 by Kidd Wadsworth in category Infused with Meaning by Kidd Wadsworth tagged as ambiguity, body movement, humor, interior dialogue
My main issue with fiction, written in first person, is interior dialogue. Often interior dialogue is self-serving—or rather author-serving. Take this passage from The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard:
I’m an accident. I’m a lie. And my life depends on maintaining the illusion.
The character is talking to herself to explain stuff to the reader. This pops me out of the story. It’s unreal dialogue. Very few of us have such cogent thoughts. Instead, our thoughts are entwined with our actions. Our body, our emotions and our thoughts are jumbled together. I’ve attempted to rewrite this passage below.
I tried not to let her see how much I hated her, but I could barely breathe.
I get it. I’ve got to lie for you.
My hand clinched itself into a fist.
Interior dialogue also often lacks ambiguity. People neither move nor think in a straight line. Our writing should mimic that. The reason it often doesn’t is that our real thoughts, like real dialogue would be uninteresting and/or confusing. As readers we want the condensed version. If you’ve ever seen a transcript of an FBI wire-tap you understand. I feel so sorry for those FBI agents. Most of that stuff—a good 99%–is boring and repetitious.
“Should we a . . . a . . . go to Denny’s or—”
“I hate Denny’s. Don’t forget your wallet.”
“Ok, ok, maybe . . . what’s that place that’s orange on the inside?”
“All I’m saying is, I’m not paying for your ass. You mean Panera?”
Of course, this enlightening conversation is taking place while the agents are listening for details about the next bombing attempt. It could be hours before they hear anything remotely interesting like:
“Did you pick the stuff up?”
So, obviously, we can’t write dialogue exactly the way it occurs in real life. Not if we want anyone, except our moms, to read our stories. But when interior dialogue is too polished, it stops being real.
Most interior dialogue also lacks humor. Humor inserts itself into our lives frequently. Yet, because our characters are constantly saving the world, running for their lives, or at least obsessing over which lipstick will make the love-of-their-life finally notice them, we delete the humor. This is a mistake. Humor breaks the tension, but more importantly, if our character is still willing to laugh, especially at themselves, it can draw the reader in, simultaneously making our character more likeable and more believable.
Finally, interior dialogue tends to suffer from monotony. In other words, the character repeats herself. Again, from The Red Queen:
I can’t do anything but steal.
And
I’m a coward.
I am really tired of hearing this character put herself down. These two thoughts are excellent candidates for humor. Consider my attempt:
I’m a coward and a thief. Across the room I spot my next mark. Tall and clean—obviously, he can afford water for a bath. Well at least I’m not a cowardly thief. My fingers are literally itching. I hope he doesn’t smell me coming.
So, here’s the list:
- No info dumps.
- Entwine the dialogue with body movement.
- Add a smidgeon of confusion or exhaustion or forgetfulness.
- Add humor.
Happy Writing!
Kidd
You’ll find some of Kidd’s stories in the following books.
A Year Is An Ocean by Veronica Jorge
December 22, 2023 by Veronica Jorge in category Write From the Heart by Veronica Jorge tagged as beginnings and endings, End of year, Veronica Jorge
As the year draws to an end, preparing to close its final chapter, I think of the beach.
It might seem perfectly normal to those of you living in sunny climates, or to snow bunnies hastening away from the cold. But to those of us in areas that have already seen our first snow, it might sound strange.
To me, beginnings and endings can be like the ocean.
Like a rushing tide, every New Year, we rush toward new goals and hopes.
Sometimes shrinking back in fear, or drifting away into distant doubts and difficult memories.
Sturdy ocean rocks, like strong foundations, enable us to stand secure. And even walk on water, like faithful friends that make us believe we can do the impossible.
Our footprints in the sand are washed away like our past failings and errors. While a merciful new year, grants us another chance at life.
The 1960s song, Try to Remember, written by Harvey Schmidt and Tom Jones, plays in my mind. Emotion tightens my throat. My heart forms a prayer for the coming year.
May no one weep. Not even the willow.
Veronica Jorge
See you next time on January 22, 2024!
0 3 Read moreFeatured Author: Bethlehem Writers Group, LLC
December 21, 2023 by Bethlehem Writers Group in category Apples & Oranges by Marianne H. Donley, Contests, Featured Author of the Month tagged as #TheBWG, 2024 Short Story Award, Bethlehem Writers Group, Bethlehem Writers Roundtable Short Story Award, Fur Feathers and Scales, new release, Short Story Award
About Bethlehem Writers Group, LLC
The Bethlehem Writers Group, LLC (BWG), is a community of mutually supportive fiction and nonfiction authors based in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. The members are as different from each other as their stories. BWG also publishes quality fiction through their online literary journal, Bethlehem Writers Roundtable, and their award-winning A Sweet, Funny, and Strange Anthology series.
Each anthology has an overall theme—broadly interpreted—but includes a variety of genres. All but the first anthology include stories from the winner(s) of The Bethlehem Writers Short Story Award.
Their first anthology, A Christmas Sampler: Sweet, Funny, and Strange Holiday Tales (2009), won two Next Generation Indie Book Awards: Best Anthology and Best Short Fiction.
An Element of Mystery: Sweet, Funny, and Strange Tales of Intrigue is the latest in A Sweet, Funny, and Strange Anthology. This anthology was a finalist in both the 2023 Next Generation Indie Book Award and the 2023 Killer Nashville’s Silver Falchion.
About An Element of Mystery
The Bethlehem Writers Group is pleased to present this collection of tales of mystery and intrigue—the latest in its award-winning series of Sweet, Funny, and Strange® anthologies. From classic whodunnits to tales of the unexplained, each of the twenty-three stories contained herein have an element of mystery that will keep you guessing and wanting to read just one more story.
We’re thrilled to have old friends, but new members of BWG, join us this year. Award-winning author Debra H. Goldstein favors us with a mystery set among volunteers at a synagogue entitled “Death in the Hand of the Tongue,” while “Sense Memory,” by the multi-talented Paula Gail Benson, brings a delightful mix of mystery and the paranormal that helps a young couple find their way to each other.
In addition, we are happy to bring you the winning stories from two of our annual Bethlehem Writers Roundtable Short Story Award competitions: “Good Cop/Bad Cop” by Trey Dowell (2021 winner) and “The Tabac Man” by Eleanor Ingbretson (2022 winner).
You’ll also find stories from your favorite BWG authors, including Courtney Annicchiarico, Jeff Baird, Peter J Barbour, A. E. Decker, Marianne H. Donley, Ralph Hieb, DT Krippene, Jerry McFadden, Emily P. W. Murphy, Christopher D. Ochs, Dianna Sinovic, Kidd Wadsworth, Paul Weidknecht, and Carol L. Wright.
So get ready to be mystified . . . or intrigued!
Next up for BWG
BWG is working on their eighth anthology, Season’s Readings: More, Sweet, Funny, and Strange Holiday Tales.
In connection with this anthology, they are hosting The Bethlehem Writers 2024 Short Story Award.
The 2024 Short Story Award opened on January 1, 2024. The theme will be Holiday Stories (broadly interpreted).
BWG is seeking never-published short stories of 2,000 words or fewer. First Place will receive $250 and publication in their upcoming anthology: Season’s Readings: More, Sweet, Funny, and Strange Holiday Tales or in Bethlehem Writers Roundtable.
The final judge of the 2024 Short Story Award is Marlo Berliner, the multi-award-winning, bestselling author of The Ghost Chronicles series.
Books from Bethlehem Writers Group, LLC
A Pug’s Tale: The Pawfect Match
December 18, 2023 by marianne h donley in category Apples & Oranges by Marianne H. Donley, Rabt Book Tours tagged as A Pug's Tale: The Pawfect Match, Children's stories, Dr. Adam Palladino
Children’s Book
Date Published: December 2023
In the heartwarming tale, “A Pug’s Tale: The Pawfect Match,” meet
Roy, an 8-year-old boy with a fervent desire for a loyal companion. His
dream of having a pug named Chug becomes an enduring journey filled with anticipation. Through the moments of hopeful waiting and the ticking of time, Roy’s wish is granted, and the enchanting story unfolds as he discovers the joy of finally having his pawfect match, a furry friend who becomes his inseparable companion and confidant. Join Roy on this touching adventure that celebrates the magic of friendship and the fulfillment of
dreams.
About the Author
Dr. Adam Palladino is a second-time author who wanted to publish a book
that would bring humor to his students. As a K-12 educator and
administrator, he showed his passion for learning and laughing by creating a
pun-filled book. He currently resides in New York with his wife, LisaMarie.
When he is not writing, you can find him studying Brazilian Jiu Jitsu,
watching movies, walking around Barnes and Noble or being adventurous with his wife.
Dr. Palladino’s first book, Terror in GuacamoleVille was a huge success,
and the popularity of it continues to grow. If you have not received your copy yet, please pick yours up now!
Dr. Palladino’s second book, A Pug’s Tale: The Pawfect Match is a wonderfully adorable book for children from infancy to 8 years old. Dr. Palladino will be traveling around the nation to promote both books, conduct read aloud, meet fans, and sign copies of his books. Please do not hesitate, get your copies today!
Contact Links
Purchase Link
Winston Brother Series Now in KU
December 17, 2023 by marianne h donley in category Apples & Oranges by Marianne H. Donley tagged as A Winston Brothers Novel, KU, Penny Reid
★★NOW IN KU★★
We have BIG news! NOW IS THE TIME TO TELL YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND ENEMIES!!! The sexy and oddly intellectual Winston Brothers series from New York Times bestselling author Penny Reid, is now available in Kindle Unlimited! That’s 14 books for your binge-reading enjoyment. Grab the entire series (plus the Cletus / Jenn spinoff series) and find out why Green Valley is one of indie publishing’s favorite fictional small towns. Read for no pennies!! in KU
Get the series in Kindle Unlimited TODAY!
https://amzn.to/3Tk1A29
Start things off with the Winston Brothers Box Set featuring the first two books in the series: ‘Beauty and the Mustache’ and ‘Truth or Beard’!
https://amzn.to/41jKOCe
