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Four Steps To Face Your Fears

October 12, 2021 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as Denise M. Colby, encouragement, Writing Advice, writing life

I wanted to write something encouraging this month and decided to repost one of my earliest posts from this blog titled Face Your Fear, which I wrote in 2017. I have found throughout my writing journey, I’ve had some type of fear hold me back, which manifests itself in taking a hit on my productivity and confidence in my writing. So I thought I would repost and share the four steps to help face your fears.

Four Steps to Face your Fear includes going from emotional to analytical response

Because I truly believe taking time to understand your fears each time they rear their ugly heads, can help you overcome them.

And I need the reminder myself these days.

So without further ado, here is the post.

What’s your biggest fear as a writer? For some of you, it might be putting the ideas swirling in your mind into actual words on the paper. For others, it might be pitching your manuscript or creating social media posts. Whatever it is, we all have them. And all that fear causes anxiety, worry, tension, panic, despair…you get the idea (we all write characters who struggle with these, right?). If you’re anything like me, my fears prevent me from accomplishing or completing some of my writing goals.

Four Steps To Help Face Our Fears

First, you must identify it. Write it down. What’s your biggest fear? Stare it straight in the face. It’s not so scary once you look at it written out.

Second, define it a bit more. Add another layer of thought to it. What specifically about it makes you have fear. Is it the entire thing or just a part or two. And then ask yourself, why is it scary for you?

Third, debunk it. Discover counter arguments to your fear. Find out from other authors if they have experienced the same fear. Soon you might realize this is a normal reaction to the process and you might even learn ideas to overcome your fear.

Fourth, push through it. Do one task which causes fear. Ask yourself —what’s the worst that can happen? Find a writing partner who can encourage you and help challenge you to follow through. Note: You may have to do this part more than once.

My own experiment with facing my writing fears

Step #1

I decided to take a 4 x 6 index card and ask myself what my greatest fear was. What I wrote surprised me. In my mind, I had a general overall fear, but when I wrote it down I saw something more specific.

I don’t always sit my butt in the chair and on the surface I tell myself it’s because I don’t have time, but deep down I’m seeing now it might be because I’m afraid. What if I sit down for an hour session and it isn’t any better than when I started? What if I only edit through a 600 word block in that time? I will never finish. And so on and so on….

So, for me, my fear is getting it wrong. I want to hit the mark and soar with my writing. I’ve entered a lot of contests and shown my work, and although I get encouraging feedback, I’m still missing the mark. And I’m afraid it will always be that way.

Step #2

I had to ask myself what specifically about getting it wrong meant. Was it failure? Afraid of what people think?

I don’t think I’m afraid of what people think so much (although I want people to like my work), as I am wondering if what I write will ever be ready to publish. I have lots of ideas, but when I write them down, they don’t sound as great as I thought they were. And I’m afraid no matter how much time I put in, I may never achieve my goal of getting published.

All this fear and doubt affects what I do day to day. How I spend my time. My mental state when I’m writing. And I don’t want it to.

Step #3

Fight back. Who decides if it’s wrong anyway? And how do they decide? Look at how many published authors sent in their manuscript numerous times before it was accepted. It’s just part of the process.

See, by writing it down, I can find counter arguments to what my fear is telling me. And it helps calm down the panic that wants to creep in. It keeps me from letting my fear stop me completely.

Step #4

Step four says to do something to face your fear, so I need to take risks and not be so afraid of doing so. Write a blog post even if it’s not perfect and post it. Write a new scene and show someone. Get feedback and keep trying. If I don’t do any of these things, I let the fear win. There is always going to be more I can add, more to improve, so why am I waiting to hit send? Waiting doesn’t do anything but feed my fear.

Fear keeps us from our goals. Something none of us wants.

For fun, I came up with this acronym. As we know, fear is an emotional response. We need to stop reacting to our fear and work on ways to work through it. So, FACE your FEAR. Fix And Change Every Fear from Emotional to an Analytical Response.

All so we can meet our goals. We all have goals we want to achieve, right?

So take some time and write down what your fear is and then face it. You just might work through that writer’s block you’ve been struggling with.

Hugs & Blessings,

Denise

Denise M. Colby loves to write words that encourage, enrich, & engage. Every year, she chooses a word to focus on. This year her word is Wisdom. If you’d like to see more of Denise’s posts on this blog, you can check out her archives.

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Using Journal Entries in Your Manuscript

September 12, 2021 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as characters, historical romance, journals

Early on, I wanted my heroine to have a journal. Not quite sure why, but capturing her journey through a journal stuck as I brainstormed my scenes. Some writers write character journals for their characters to help them see things from their character’s perspective. But for me, I wanted my heroine to actually have a journal in my story.

Have you read many books using journal entries throughout the story?

I actually have come across a very limited amount of books using journal entries throughout the story. In my manuscript, there is an entry at the beginning of every chapter. I was excited a few years ago to find a book that had this and found that it worked. But I haven’t found a lot of books this way, so that’s a good thing.

I’m even considering it to be possibly a thing I do in all of them, but we will see.

I’m curious to know if this is something that appeals to readers or not.

I have seen a journal or diary entry as a plot point or in a scene. I actually have some of those as well since her writing in her journal is part of her story.

Do you write in a journal?

If you do, do you ever worry about someone reading what you wrote?

My heroine gets handed a journal upon her start as a teacher. In it, she’s instructed to write down the events of her days to capture what happens as a female teacher who moves West to teach in small pioneer towns.

Olivia finds her journal to be a close confidant. She enjoys documenting her observances about the places she’s been and the people she meets. Given that it’s 1869 and traveling by train across the country is a new and unprecedented event, the importance in capturing the momentous occasion is not lost on her.

She’s also very protective of her book. It never leaves her side and she would never leave it out so that someone could read it. But even if they did, she is very careful what she writes, never putting to paper her own thoughts and opinions, just in case someone else might read it and pass judgement on her.

See judgement stings and her fear of being judged stems from…well…I don’t want to give too much away.

Creating realistic journal entries

I created a small diary in Olivia’s hand, so that I could think like her and feel what it might’ve been like all those years ago to have a small diary to write down words that could be read one hundred years later.

Denise M. Colby created a mock journal in her characters hand to get a sense of what she would say. This is the title page opened and dated 1869 — My character in my story keeps a journal, so I created one and wrote in it as if I’m her. I even changed the handwriting to fit her personality.

What she was doing was so new in 1869.

Traveling across the country, women came west to teach in one-room schoolhouses and in order to make a difference in the life of a child, and for herself as well.

I wonder, in real life, how many of them kept a journal? And if they had any idea that we would be reading what they wrote so many years later?

Denise loves journals and has several laying around her home at any given time. She wrote about her bullet journal page design ideas for writers in an earlier post and this year she started a journal just for her word of the year quotes. The one she uses the most is her prayer journal. Check out her how to start a prayer journal page on her website.

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The Wisdom of This Year’s Focus Word

August 12, 2021 by Denise M. Colby in category The Writing Journey by Denise Colby tagged as Denise M. Colby, wisdom, Word of the year, writerslife

As I’ve mentioned in my January post, my word for 2021 is Wisdom. And as usual, I realize now how perfect this word has been for me this year. That there was wisdom in selecting wisdom as this year’s focus word.

The Wisdom of My Focus Word 2021 Blog post Title page by Denise M. Colby

I selected this word because this was the year. The turning point year where I’d apply the wisdom I’ve learned thus far, and also seek out others’ input for my next step in my writing journey.

Wisdom, I’ve learned, encompasses the integration of knowledge, experience, and deep understanding; and how you apply those three in your decisions.

This is exactly what I wanted to explore in my writing. To make final decisions about how it’s written and get it published.

And that has given me focus.

I’m happy to report that I’ve gotten my manuscript to a point where I’ve shared the entire thing with a select few. And have received positive feedback. That’s a huge step for me!

So as I reflect on this year so far, I think choosing the word Wisdom has helped me reach that goal.

Which is the entire point of choosing a focus word for the year.

But as always, choosing this focus word has not just been applicable to my writing.

I’ve thought a lot about how I apply wisdom in my decision making skills in my life too.

And in my search for quotes and phrases and wisdom about wisdom, I realized some things.

Each word I’ve selected has been building on each other. Hope, believe, strength, steadfast, purposeful, courage, and now wisdom. I needed to glean the knowledge of the other words first before I could truly embrace the word wisdom.

That was a huge aha moment for me. A small dash of wisdom, which has altered how I look at myself, my writing journey, and my life.

That’s why choosing the word that fits where you are and where you want to go is so helpful.

Other thoughts about my word Wisdom

Did you know that my name Denise means wisdom?

Photo of card that states Denise means wise discerner with bible verse on it

When I found these cards amongst some old papers, it was quite the aha moment. The timing was right for me to select the word wisdom as my focus word.
Denise M. Colby

Because quotes are all about invoking wisdom, I have had to purposely search for quotes and phrases using the actual word wisdom in it, vs finding quotes related to wisdom itself.

It took some time, but I found some. And they have helped me explore this word further.

serenity prayer by reinhold niebuhr with wisdom in it

James 3:17 NIV verse with wisdom in it - focus word, word of the year, by Denise M. Colby — Night Sky, Hyden, Western Australia.

Wisdom Quote by Jimi Hendrix the word wisdom as a focus word for Denise M. Colby — Night Sky, Hyden, Western Australia.

I really like to study words and share what I learn.

And I’m excited to have a few more months to explore my focus word, wisdom.

I’m never really ready to let go of my words, which is why I’m thankful to have learned that the words you choose don’t really go away. They are a part of you, like building blocks, helping you grow into the person you are meant to be.

Last year I had so much on the word Courage, that I built a page dedicated to the word to put everything in one place.

I’d love to hear what have you learned about your focus word this year. Please share in the comments.

Blessings,

Denise

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July Featured Author: Denise M. Colby

July 28, 2021 by Denise M. Colby in category Featured Author of the Month tagged as Christian Historical Fiction, Denise M Colby, Marketing, Social Media, writing

Denise M. Colby loves to write words that encourage, enrich, and engage whether it’s in her blog, social media, magazine articles, or devotions. With over 20+ years’ experience in marketing, she enjoys using her skills to help other authors. She treasures the written word and the messages that can be conveyed when certain words are strung together. An avid journal writer, she usually can be found with a pen and notepad whenever she’s reading God’s word. Denise is writing her first novel, a Christian Historical Romance and can be found at www.denisemcolby.com

She’s a member of RWA, OCC/RWA, Faith, Hope & Love Chapter of RWA, ACFW (where she is a semi-finalist in the Genesis contest Historical Romance Category), OC Chapter of ACFW, and SoCal Christian Writers’ Conference.

In addition to Denise’s column The Writing Journey on A Slice of Orange, you can read some of her magazine article here.