THINGS THAT MAKE ME GO MMMRUH!
April 7, 2008 by A Slice of Orange in category Archives tagged as Things That Make Me Go Mmmruh
Jupiter’s Darling
by Geralyn Ruane
If this be slavery
Give me slavery!
If this be slavery
I don’t want to be free!
So sings Gower Champion in the 1955 Technicolor extravaganza Jupiter’s Darling, when the ravishing Esther Williams purchases him at a slave sale so that her cute little personal slave Marge Champion can have a hottie for a playmate. As her slaves frolic, Esther Williams sneaks out of Rome to get a gander at the strapping Hannibal, played by Howard Keel in a mighty short tunic. He is encamped just outside Rome, preparing to attack. When Hannibal captures the enamored bathing beauty, he is so spellbound by her sexy sass that he forgets all about sacking Rome. Instead, he wiles away his days sequestered in his tent with the irresistible prisoner, as his soldiers and elephants wait impatiently to strike. When towards the end of the movie the Roman vamp and the barbaric Hannibal fight, as lovers often do, she escapes, high-tailing it back to Rome – by way of the ocean. Yes, indeed, Esther Williams has to travel via ocean to get from the outskirts of Rome back to, uh, Rome. This might seem like a stretch – plot-wise, I mean, just to get the titian-haired nymph into the water, but the movie redeems itself with an underwater Statues-Come-to-Life number that is much more integral to the plot. Not to mention, one of the best underwater swimming-in-ancient-Rome scenes ever. Mmmruh!
Jupiter’s Darling is wonderful! It is an insanely delightful trip into the preposterous! Seriously, the dancing elephants scene will make you wonder about the mushrooms you had for dinner.
These days, I am learning to embrace and rejoice in inanity whenever I can. What a thrill, what a release, what a way to find balance!
After all, so much of the ridiculous and bizarre sickens rather than amuses. Yes, someone actually thought the best way to become a mom was to kill a pregnant woman and cut the baby out of her womb. O.J. is free as a bird and living large. And yes, okay, our vice president did shoot someone. In such a world, is it really so foolish that candidates be chosen according to bowling prowess?
In 1841 Rochester, Frederick Douglass made no bones about how preposterous it was that America was celebrating Independence Day when one faction of its population enslaved another. “For revolting barbarity and shameless hypocrisy, America reigns without a rival.†Here, here! Way to tell it like it is! Mmmruh!
It’s a wacky , wrenching world worth fighting for, and against. And when you feel like you just can’t take it for another second – check out, kick back and watch Jupiter’s Darling.
Then reboot.
Geralyn Ruane’s new favorite numbers are 18 and 1. She co-hosts the radio show Better Times After 50 on AdviceRadio.com when she’s not drinking chocolate milk straight from the spoon or writing humorous women’s fiction. Her short story “Jane Austen Meets the New York Giants†is published in the New York Times Bestselling anthology The Right Words at the Right Time Volume 2.
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