Daily Archives: February 8, 2007

Worst Valentine’s Day Ever by Christine Columbus

The sexy next-door neighbor that I had my eye on for quite some time had started inviting me down to the neighborhood bar to play bingo. No, we are not in our seventies. We are in our thirties. Honest. Well, okay I’m 41, but don’t tell anyone.

The week before we had won a hundred dollars and the next Bingo night happen to fall on Valentine’s Day. To celebrate the bar was having a $1400 coverall jackpot. “Is it going to be a date?” Cullen asked.

“It’s a date,” I said thinking more about the possibility of cashing in on kiss, if he wanted to spend the day set aside for lovers with me. He had to have more on his mind than Bingo.

The following week when I picked up Cullen I didn’t realize he had been drinking. We got to the bar and the lot was packed. Cullen assured me it would be okay to park by the big green dumpster with the no parking sign. “No one picks up garbage in the evening. “

We hurried into the bar not wanting to be late for the start of the game. We bought our card and daubers. I had on a snug white t-shirt, we a scoop neck and the swell of my cleavage was one of Victoria’s Secret uplifting bras. The game starts. There are three cards on a sheet of paper and we each have our own sheets. After the third number has been called, I look over and Cullen is just staring at me. He hasn’t even daubed his free spots. So, I tell him. “Do your free spots!” I’m twisting on my bar stool to see the TV so I can see what numbers he missed and all of a sudden, I scream. My right nipple shriveled up so tight and hard I thought it was going to pop right off my breast and then my left nipple gives a repeat performance. My eyebrows are resting somewhere behind my widows peak and my mouth is moving like a wide mouth bass trying to spit out a lure. Cullen daubed my boobs.

He got those free spots and I got bright red blobs right over my nipples, I didn’t win the 1400 dollars and I got to ride with a toothless (the reason I know he was toothless was because he grinned at me the whole time he drove me over to the impound lot to pick up my car.

Happy Valentine Day.

Christine Columbus
Available at The Wild Rose Press www.thewildrosepress.com
“Happy Meal” “Love and Coffee To Go” “Drama Queen” “Uncle Mike’s Love” “First Class Male”
Coming soon: “Hard Day On The Farm”
Visit me at http://christinecolumbus.blogspot.com/